Model minority

A 2005 Princeton study showed Asians (not whites) bear nearly 80% of the cost of affirmative action in college admissions. Nearly four out of every five spots given to blacks and Hispanics in an affirmative-action regime would go to Asians in a purely merit-based system.

The Minnesota Vikings

I think if they could somehow convince the NFL to count field goals as 4 points they would have a much better chance of winning. I guess 5 points would be even better.

Also, I really enjoy pizza rolls. I bought them at the discount store. They look/taste really unhealthy. They're awesome.

Collecting coins

Why would someone pay $10 for a nickel? It doesn't make sense.

Randoms

I no longer associate cuteness with anything gothic. This is because I walk by them a few times a day. It was cute the first couple times...but seriously, how much Magic can be played before they realize that they are playing Magic? Of course I make such outlandish statements without ever having indulged in it myself. I don't know exactly why I don't like it or anything associated with it, but that's just how it is.

So here are a few random things:
I read that in N. Korea, to save electricity, the stoplights were replaced with traffic officers (is there a better term for these people?). They all happen to be hot females. I'm moving to North Korea!!!

Also, the N. and S. Korea border is the most heavily militarized in the world. This doesn't suprise me or probably anyone else. I just didn't know it.

So I'm in the process of reading a book on N.K., 2 on Rwanda, and one sort of guide/read along thing to the Old Test. I think this is all because I have a chem exam on Monday that will determine my future.

I found out the other day that my ice scraper scrapes off about a 1/2 inch strip of ice. This would be fine if the scraper were 1/2 inches wide, but as it turns out, it's like 5.

I have a pair of pants that are static free until I go into the college. I don't know the science behind this, all I know is it kind of sucks.

Sitting next to me is the DVD "how to lose a guy in 10 days." I've never seen it and probably won't watch it. I think if I ever had to lose a guy, 10 days would be way too long.

I don't know what I am doing for Christmas vac. I am not going to Hawaii due to financial reasons. Does anyone want a guest at their house?

I have had a cough for about 2 weeks now. I've decided that it comes and goes with change in elevation. This may sound retarded, but it seems to get better or worse when I go upstairs/downstairs, with no correlation between one or the other.

The 95 Camry

Over the first 5 tanks of gas, my little beast averaged 30.5mpg. Not bad. I see a lot of new cars that apparently average 29. I credit my lack of a best friend, children and girlfriend for producing such efficient fuel consumption. For those of you who want to increase your fuel efficiency, I recommend lightening the load a little. I don't mean get a divorce or give your kids up for adoption, I just mean leave them at home.

Sorry

I have this counter thing on my blog. It records how many people come to my site. You probably knew that. If someone stumbles on my blog via google or something, it also records the search words. This is the part I like....or at least it can be interesting. My counterpage thingy only saves everything for like a month, and then it deletes them all which is annoying. So for the random people from Google, here are a few search tips:

Use these things ""
It appears that most of the people who drift upon my site do so while searching for adult entertainment. Imagine their disappointment. This is a result of them typing in something like "japanese toes" or "all about ass" only without the quotation marks. To be honest, I don't recall ever typing the word ass in my blog until 5 seconds ago. I probably misspelled bass or mass...which brings me to the next part.

The other randoms are usually people who search for something and then spell it wrong. This is the second most popular set of visitors. Ok, I can't spell. Sorry. But that's no excuse for your spelling.

So for those of you that might happen to stumble on this blog by accident: I'm sorry this is not a porn site and/or that you can't spell. But this doesn't mean we can't be friends. My name is Mark and I currently have no best friend or passion in life. But I am conveniently located just off of 694 and 35W.

Also, I've been having trouble coming up with a halloween costume. I found one today and then I put it back and decided on a much cooler one. I would have been mildly offended by it 5 years ago but now I think it's funny and I can wear it all week

Important things in life

I've learned two things about myself in the past couple weeks.

1. I don't seem to be passionate about anything.
2. I don't have a best friend.

I don't think either of these are good things.

A funny story for Chris

In Japan there was this group of 5 boys. They were wild, out of control...or depending on how you look at it, they were just normal 10 year old boys whose parents tried to get rid of their energy by dropping them off for English lessons. They had two teachers before me, but these teachers were unable to get a grip on the class so they were turned over to the teacher of all teachers aka me.

Too lazy and unconcerned to try and make them learn English I let them just run around and do whatever they wanted. However, I did regulate their chaos. For those of you who don't know what K1 is, it is the Japanese kickboxing org. The goal of these young men appeared to be to emulate their heroes of K1. My job was pretty simple in theory, but with the language aspect it got a little harder. No strikes to the groin and no tag-teaming were really my only rules. After they got this down (which I guess they never really did) my only job was to stand in the middle before they started and signal them to begin by dropping my hand and yelling "FIGHT!"

Headshot, bodyshot, combo, nice shot and fight were the only words they learned. But I like to think they learned so much more. Discipline, respect, honor. These are all very valuable in Japanese culture. They also learned to never give up. This was evident in the fact that the larger kid, Kazuki, won every time. But the challengers kept coming.

I would have owned them, even all at once. They all knew that.

Goth kids are cute

Century College has a lot of goth kids. I'm not sure if they were just invisible on the U campus or if they were just overshadowed by all the hippy posers. Maybe something in their goth mentality keeps them out of the big universities. These kids may be goth posers but I am not sure as I don't know them and I don't know the true def. of a goth kid. But they look like what I assume are goth kids. I am used to seeing goth kids sit alone in their self-imposed alienated state. Never talking to anyone, never smiling, and never seeming to care about anything except writing on their black clothes with black pens.

They congregate in one of the student lounge-type areas and no one else seems to want to venture in there. They don't seem to have the whole Columbine mentality that one would assume (or that dude in Canada that went crazy). It's interesting to see them interact together since usually you don't ever see them interact with anyone at all. There is always one group playing Magic (the card game), the otherday I saw them playin with plastic light sabers. They seem to have fun talkin really loud and tryin to stand out in the crowd...kinda like normal kids but just gothier. As I was standing on the floor above them looking down I couldn't help but smile. Just seeing how these guys interact with one another as opposed to with "normal" people just brought a smile to my face. The only way I could think of describing them at that moment was "cute."

Still, just as they probably have no idea why anyone would want to wear jeans and a t-shirt, I have no idea why anyone would want to look like a depressed vampire...and then go to college.

Water Fountains

I imagine somewhere every institution keeps a record of how many water fountains they have in their building. I'm sure they feel great about themselves when they sit back and think "wow, we have a lot of water fountains, all spewing cold water to the masses." But how many of these really function? I remember the water fountain in the library at UMD gave me a huge shock whenever I touched the button, and if I somehow bypassed it I would receive it on my lips. Anyway, the inspiration from this blog comes from Century College with its pathetic excuses for "bubblers." They spit out water like a half inch. It's really depressing. And then of course you feel like a retard when you push the button, your head goes half way down with that "I'm about to quench my thirst" smile....then you bail out like a wussy. It's not that I'm a priss or anything, but there is no way my mouth is going to make it's little kissy face that close to a germ covered rusty ol' spigot. I mean this is America. I'm sure somewhere we have budgeted for some group whose job it is to go around and make sure all fountains are up to par. I think to feel comfortable drinking, I am going to need at least 2 inches. That's not asking a lot. What is the proper emo way to manipulate typing to show that we are frustrated? uhhhhhh *(frown)*

Judge Mark

While my grandpa was giving me the walking tour through the nursing home I became kind of depressed. It was just all of these old people sitting in beds watching court TV. That of course made me think of the purpose of my existence...as well as the purpose for all these old people. Maybe the purpose of my existence is to entertain old people at the hospital, but if that were the case, what would the purpose of all the old people be? Just an outlet for me to fulfill my purpose? I don't think so. I decided that whatever my purpose is, it must be something that I can work toward/fulfill throughout my entire life. If the last 2 years of my life consist of liquid meals and Judge Judy, someone please end them prematurely. That is why I am excited to be entering a career that I can continue until I die. While most people seem to use work as a means to retirement, I feel like I am looking forward to work as some sort of purpose. I don't think I will want to retire. I want to work. But is it that simple? I doubt it.

To lighten it up a bit, here are some funny things my grandpa said:

They need a pistol range in here (talkin about how boring the place is).

They never think of anyone except themselves, they don't seem to realize that someone is going to have to come clean up their mess (talking about people who commit suicide by throwing themselves in front of a train).

I think if I had to choose between having a prosthetic arm or leg, I'd chose a leg, but whoever really has a choice?

Finally

Well, after 2 minutes of guessing my password, I've finally got it. Except I don't know what I wanted to blog about anymore. Well, I can only imagine it was something really cool. Oh well.

Mark news:
He is breezin through 3 classes at Century College.
He is looking for something to do on Fridays because he quit school on that day.
He is the proud owner of a 95 Camry with 165k miles and a rattle in the back (kind of like a rattle snake but less cool and maybe more dangerous).
He is disturbed by the amount of $ he spends on food each week.
He is practicin BJJ on T and Th every week.
He is on a comp with a not so sensitive G key, he doesn't type things like "breezin" and "practicin" to be cool
He is gettin annoyed with his third person typing.
I am blogging about nothing at 915pm on a saturday, I'm so cool.
I think that's really all the Mark news, not that it would really matter if there is some news I am forgetting. I may play disc golf tmrw with some old Duluth friends. There.

"CNN Exclusive: Lawyer says suspects upset"

I originally was going to post a blog about how stupid the title of this headline was (of course without even reading the body), but then I found States auction airport contraband.

It seems like a pretty typical story, except for: Most of the contraband merchandise is knives, nail clippers and cuticle scissors that were forbidden as carry-on items following the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. But there's also Wiffle Ball bats...and a couple of chain saws.

How does someone try and explain that he didn't know he couldn't bring a chainsaw in his carry-on? And how does the security guy try and explain the dangers of having a Wiffle Ball bat on a plane?

The 3 R's

Since I am back in the 1st world I decided to update my Ipod and throw on some new music. The 3 R's by Jack Johnson is one of the catchiest songs I've heard in awhile, and it's funny. Jack Johnson is pretty popular, but he is 10x as popular in Hawaii (he is from there). So when I was there he was played a lot and I became a fan. So hearing this guy singing "reduce reuse recycle" is just great, and it will be stuck in your head for a day. Anyway, it's from the soundtrack for Curious George. I asked my aunt Sue if she had seen the movie and our conversation went something like this:

S: No I haven't, but I wanted to. I think he has fetal alcohol syndrome. He is very impulsive and never thinks of the consequences, so he's always getting into trouble...also, he is a little hyperactive. Did you read the books when you were a kid?

Me: Yeah, when I was really little.

S: I used to read them to the kids. He was always getting into trouble and then his dad would always come get him out of it and he never faced any consequences for his actions. That's why I stopped.

Me: Oh.

S: You know who else has fetal alcohol syndrome? That fish from that movie, not the Little Mermaid. Miriam, what's that fishes name?

Miriam: From A Shark's Tale? Finding Nemo?

S: Yes Finding Nemo, the blue fish

Miriam: Dora

S: Totally fetal alcohol. Never thinking about anything, very impulsive.

THE END

In other Ipod news, I put on the James Blunt CD. I haven't listened to it and I am going to predict suckiness. But it has sentimental value because when I was in Guatemala the neighbor girl would play that "you're beautiful" (?) song every night three times in a row and she would sing with it really loud right before she went to bed. It was awesome. Until I saw the video I always thought the singer was a woman.

This is Mark, reporting live from my chair

I should probably just stop reading it. These are the headlines as of...well whenever this blog was published (note the image experts, haha):

Mel Gibson formally charged with DUI | Video
TIME.com: Image experts offer Gibson advice
Sister says Castro getting better | TIME.com
Tourists evacuate from Chris' path | Path
Kids collect the bombs meant to kill them
Accused Marine sues war foe Murtha
Sports world burned by heat wave | Video
Heat kills pregnant mom at baseball game
Copter pilot allegedly lands in road for Tommy Lee
Tiny drug dog sniffs out big career
'Survivor' continues tour of U.S. prisons
Elvis' teddy destroyed by angry guard dog

Tangent.

Against my best interest I decided I had to read that last story, hence the link (although the title says it all). The dog was described as having gone beserk. This is stupid. For those of you who may be appalled by the outrageous and destructive actions of Barney, let me explain something. Dogs need to be taken care of. This means they need exercise. Sometimes when a dog (especially a Doberman) sits inside all day and does nothing, its energy becomes too much for it to contain and it must go berserk (kind of like me). My dog does this sometimes. It sprints back and forth through the house slipping and sliding, jumping over chairs. So if your dog is going berserk, it means you need to take it for a jog.

I guess Barney destroyed this collection worth about $900,000. That is also just stupid. Either the bears are old pieces of junk that nobody wants to play with anymore meaning they are worth whatever they could be sold for as pillows....or they have infinite worth due to their cuddliness (kind of like me).

Tangent.

I start school in 3 weeks. I have no job and nothing to do. I am going to try my best to occupy my time in some sort of constructive manner. So if you have any ideas let me know. Hippies are by definition lazy, I am not a hippy, therefore I should not be lazy....ok, that doesn't really work, but I still hate hippies, in a loving sort of way.

TCF

I've slowly been trying to straighten out my bank account with TCF. I've been working at it for about 10 days now. The problem was finally located. Apparently, because I previously had a checking account with TCF my SS# was still in the system and screwing everything up. Of course they could have just left my account open, not stolen my $4 and we both would have saved a lot of time. I have been trying to set up my online banking this whole time. About 10 phone calls and 2 hours on hold in total. The most annoying thing is that every time they put me on hold they repeat this commercial over and over again about how online banking is fast, easy and convenient. I am on hold right now.

Now they said everything is ok. They've said this before.

Crisis followup

Well, I just finished my last blog about 30 seconds ago. Read that one before you read this one...because this is chapter 2.

So I wrote my last blog about crisis experts. I published it, and then I clicked on my counter. Sure enough, 30 seconds earlier I had a visitor, we will just call him IP host3.fema.gov.

I'll be honest, this kind of scared me. I didn't really mean to rip on FEMA, I was actually ripping on CNN for their stupid news stories that aren't really news. The fear only lasted a second before it turned into amazement. Wow, FEMA really is fast, what are all these people talking about. Then, after a little investigating my amazement turned into disappointment. Mr. FEMA had actually visited my site while browsing through the blogs with the "next blog" button at the top right of your screen. How ironic though eh? eh?

CNN and Mel Gibson

I don't care enough to read the entertainment news, but because my eyes can't help but avoid processing the small bits of text that we refer to as "headlines," I am forced to know what's going on in US pop culture.

"Crisis experts: Gibson facing uphill climb"

I now know what is wrong with America. It's not that we are obsessed with celebrities and scandals. It has nothing really to do with Mel Gibson. It is that our crisis experts are covering the Mel Gibson story.

Well I was just going to write a list of better uses for our crisis experts, but after a little thought, I don't think there are any. Also, I hereby declare myself a crisis expert. This is not to be confused with someone who will directly offer assistance in an emergency, however, I will explain to those that are interested exactly what you were thinking when this happened and what you could have done to avoid it. I will also give, in detail, the steps that you need to end this crisis and avoid it in the future.

Alopecoid

My favorite spelling bee moment

n. fox-like

An interesting blog.

I'm not talking about mine. After stubbling upon this video I read his blog. Very long, very interesting. I couldn't ever read the whole thing but there were two interesting passages:

For my flight out, I sat next to an 83-year-old veteran from Eastern Washington who served in Tokyo at the end of WWII. He was assigned to guard the German embassy until its occupants could be shipped back to Germany. He'd come over from Europe where he served in the infantry, crossing through France into Dusseldorf and then sieging a small town near the border with Czechoslovakia.

His unit spent most of the war lost. Everyone was lost all the time, he said. The Germans removed all the signs and the maps were inaccurate, so they just wandered around hoping to stay alive. The town they attacked -- they completely missed where they were ordered to go. They only found it by accident, approaching from the rear at night, inadvertantly bypassing all the German defenses and taking the town without firing a shot.

and:
I had dinner tonight with two Sudanese priests. They’re here getting trained to deal with trauma victims in their country – which I am sure there is no shortage of. We had a fascinating conversation in which they explained the history of the Sudanese conflict. They had very thick accents and I could only understand about half of what they said, but it was a lot more than I knew before.

The thing that surprised me most was learning how pleased they are with the war in Iraq. It turns out the Iraqi government had been supporting the Arab leadership in Khartoum, providing weapons and money for their war against the Christians in the south. With Iraq crippled, the Sudanese government has lost their supplier and are suddenly scrambling. According to these priests, the current peace negotiations are the direct result of the Iraq war. Otherwise the Arabs wouldn’t even be at the table.


http://wherethehellismatt.typepad.com/blog/

A short rant about sports

OK, I don't watch ESPN because I don't have a TV. But I do like sports so I check their webpage.

Some of the stuff on ESPN, to me, is just not a sport.

Golf. It's a HS sport, college sport, and their are pros. But to me, it's just not a sport...it's a game, yes. Sport, no.

Horse racing, car racing...or any other sport that doesn't require legs. Of course you have to push the gas pedal and keep yourself on the horse. I guess horse racing would count as a sport for the horses. Racing with cars is something for 15 year olds to do for fun while they are drunk. 500 laps around the track on your legs or a bike, that's a sport.

The Spelling Bee. While I actually don't mind watching this for a bit, and one of my favorite video highlights comes from this, it's still not a sport.

The dog show. I'm not sure why, but this is on ESPN once a year, maybe more often, I'm not sure. While I have never seen an actual pageant (for people), I imagine that the dog show is similar...but for dogs. I would rather watch the people kind.

Bowling. Yes, it takes practice, there is pressure and money to be won...kind of like golf. But this is something for families to do with kids on their birthdays or for groups of men like Al Bundy with nothing else to do. It's a social thing.

Fishing and hunting. While I like participating in these, they're hobbies, pastimes, ways to get food, but not sports. Catching the animals with your barehands (assuming they could potentially kill you) and killing them, that would be a sport.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I am sure there are others that ESPN shows now and again. There should be some kind of criteria for something to be a sport. I think it must require endurance, athleticism, competition against another person. If there are teams it must require teamwork. If it's at the "pro" level and there is no disabled list then I wonder. Sports require athletic tape, sweat and stitches. Defense and offense...angry fans and rude chanting...trashtalk and carbo-loading. If the best "players" couldn't run a mile under ten minutes or do at least 30 pushups...then it's not a sport (I think all NFL offensive linemen as well as every women in a real sport would meet this criteria with ease.)

What's sad to me is that ESPN wouldn't have this kind of programming if it wasn't getting ratings. Really, who watches bowling or fishing on TV?

Stopping and starting all over

I'm back from Central America. I am in Minneapolis with nothing to do for the next month. Looking for a house and a cheap car. I start school at the end of August and I am looking forward to studying like mad. So to end my almost 2 years of being away, here are some final thoughts on each place.

7 months in Hawaii. Nice ocean, nice weather. Lots of things to do. Horrible traffic and everyone has little dogs that bark all the time because they don't take care of them.

1 year in Japan. Lots of money to be made at a miserable job. Everything is small and if you want to understand things you just have to think of what is logical and then plan for the opposite. People take care of their dogs better than most people in some countries take care of their children. The transportation system is excellent. People are almost too respectful and they could eliminate their police force and crime would probably not increase at all. Also everything is very expensive.

Central Am./Mex. Keep all valuables safe. Never put your "carry on bag" on the bus rack above your head. Overall people are really nice but poverty and constant nagging caused me to avoid lots of conversations. Lots of people missing limbs. Lots of starving dogs with no place to go. Firecrackers, roosters, cars with no exhaust pipe, horns honking...all starting at about 5am. Cheap delicious food but it doesn't like to solidify in your digestive system.

Minneapolis. Familiar. Requires a car to get places that are more than a few miles away. Inconvenient bus system. Taxes (if you work). Expensive tuition and well trained quiet dogs. The end of Mark's blog...unless my boredom for the next month causes me to rant about losers in Lebanon or Mixed Martial Arts.

Adios for now.
Marcos

Drama in Mexico and Jiu Jitsu 101

So as the title suggests, there was a little drama in Mexico two nights ago. Also, since I always write about BJJ and nobody knows (or cares)anything about it I will be introducing some possibly new terms.

It all started at about 4am. I was in a hostel sleeping, as I often am at this hour. I awake to the sound of 8 girls screaming their lungs out. My thought was the same as every other guy who has been in this situation..."girls, it´s early, please shutup." After about 10-15 seconds of screaming I put on my glasses and went over to the ladies dorm. They were crying and flapping around their hands like flightless birds. They explained to me that some Mexican dude had been under one of the beds. Upon being found he jumped out of the window...the same one he came in.

The window (second floor) had the glass panels removed and there was a ladder under it that he had placed there. I pulled the ladder up through the window and was shining a flashlight around all the bushes (outside of the window was basically a junkyard). I was assuming he was in the bushes so I was talking to him, pretending like I could see him.

The neighbors were all up due to girl screams and said that they found him but wanted one of the girls to identify him. I walked down with one of the girls and she confirmed it. The neighbor was holding a big stick from the junkyard and had him cornered. They called the police but for some reason (maybe because it´s Mexico) there was no answer. So the neighbor boy took off on his bike to go get the police. I sat down on the curb blocking the guy´s exit.

After a couple minutes Mr. Pervert decides he´s going to make a break for it. That´s when our hero, we´ll call him Mark (aka the World´s Most Dangerous White Belt) demonstrates his love for martial arts with a double leg take down.















From there I went into the Mount.

Realizing that he may get the beating of a lifetime, our 130 pound villian gave up.
I was giving him the option to turn over because for a long time I have been wanting to Rear Naked Choke someone out, but he had apparently had enough. At this point I felt sorry for him. Sooner than later, the police arrived (led by a boy on a bicycle), handcuffed him, and threw him in the back of their truck. The girls were still busy doing their little flightless bird dance and the guys were sleeping.

So to conclude, because this happened at 4 in the morning, he must have been sitting in there for a long time because nobody saw him enter. Thus, he must be desperate and retarded. He had a bunch of blood dripping from his face and he was too injured to outrun an old fat man with a stick. And as I mentioned earlier, he was about 130-140. But just so you know, if he hadn´t been injured while jumping out of a second story building into a junkyard, was a little bigger and sane I would have still OWNED him.

Also, girls should stop screaming at spiders, mice and little crap like that because if something screamworthy actually happens nobody will care. There were six guys in our room and only two of us even went out. While I held the guy down the other guy told him in crappy Spanish (with an Italian accent) that if he ran we were going to kill him. I was trying not to laugh. The pictures are not from last night but I do kind of look like the little kid in red. They are from internet searches so sorry if they are copywritten or something.

This morning I went cave diving.

PS. AFter I wrote this blog I had to go to the police station to testify. They told me that the guy was drunk...so probably not retarded then.

To do list

I have a very big to do list. And it´s full of very big things. Some of the bigger things are this, the order is yet to be determined and it is something I change my mind about every few hours.

I have to take chemistry, physics, psychology, human anatomy and physiology. I also have to go to tech school for two years and then work for one year. I can´t decide which I want to do first. The first one would mean I have to take out a loan (maybe the second one will require that anyway). It would also mean that I could get all those out of the way. The second option would allow me some income a year earlier. I don´t know what to do and I hate that.

Some other things off the top of my head...
a cellphone
a car and insurance
a place to live
loan applications
open a bank account

It´s kind of like I´m moving to a new city, except I´ve lived there almost my whole life. Do people drive mopeds in the winter? I know they did on Dumb and Dumber and everything seemed to work out for them, and they were even dumb.

I also need to buy a blender. I want a huge one.

Travel news. I spent the day travelling to cenotes with some dude I met at the hostel. He is the first guy I´ve met in about a week that didn´t seem to annoy me. I´m pretty sure I pulled him away from a few people that were annoying him. Es la vida.

More fighting

Highlight video of my Japanese BJJ instructor losing in Vegas. Rematch!

San Cristobal, Palenque, and a string of ranting traveling tangents

Sumidero Canyon, hostels and hippies. Palenque, ruins and sun. Buses. That pretty much sums up my time since whenever I last blogged. Buses always make me mad. Being stuck next to 20-30 people for a few hours...there is sure to be one that gets on my nerves. So here they are...

I was sitting next to this really fat lady and her fat kid was sitting on her lap. I have nothing against fat people, but I don't feel like I should give up half of my seat just so the person next to me can be a little more comfortable. So instead of doing so, I held my ground and decided to use half of the armrest separating us. This meant that I had to sit for a few hours with this lady's rolls hanging over my arm and lap. She was making me so angry and that just made me more stubborn. I'm not sure whose sweat it was (Mex is hot), but when I got up there was a lot of it. To make matters worse, they were eating the whole time. I guess it's important to note that this wasn't an afternoon trip. The first meal came at 8am (a normal breakfast time). Doritos and Coke. I wanted to puke. The second meal came at 10am. Tortillas and chicken. Seeing this chubby little 7 year old wipe her greasy fingers all over her shirt was just repulsive. After a few hours the bus made a stop, some seats cleared and I left. On buses kids ride for free. This should be changed. Every person should have to pay for and sit in a seat. On my 2 round-trips from the States to Japan I was amazed at how many people go on vacations with their less than 5 month old babies. I guess it is possible that they are moving or something and then it would of course be necessary. But why would you want spend 20 hours on a plane, twice, with a baby who you know is going to cry the entire trip until it becomes exhausted from doing so and falls asleep - for 15 minutes. Obviously there is something about 20 hour flights and/or busrides that really irritates infants, thus irritating everyone else. There should be some kind of special tariff or something on children that are less than 1 year old. Also, feeding your kid Doritos and chicken for breakfast should violate one of the Rules of Common Sense that someone should develop (although really they shouldn't need to).

The next bus had this guy behind me who was snoring really loud. I couldn't reproduce this noise if I tried. It was awful. This was a nightbus. That trip sucked. Then it arrived at 4am and I hung out on the street for 2 hours until a hotel opened. Anyway, I would feel rude for waking someone up even though I don't think I should feel that way. Even if you can't help it, keeping everyone else awake with your sinus problems is just rude.

Hippies really disgust me (not to be confused with anger). All the hippies I have met have been nice and everything. But just talking to them I get this sort of distaste in my mouth. I don't know a better way to describe it. Around the UofM there are all sorts of hippy looking kids...but these are not hippies, they are posers. The true hippy wakes up in the afternoon everyday and then proceeds to do nothing except smoke weed, drink, play cards and listen to music until 4am. They do this everyday. To them there is no difference between Saturday and Wednesday. Just the whole idea of doing absolutely nothing with your life seems very strange to me now (even if I kind of used to be like that). Some of these guys I've met have just been on a 5 year life-vacation, doing the same nothing everyday.

The thing about really fat people and hippies (or anyone else with habits that are the opposite of the ones I want) that intrigues me is that whenever I am around them I become filled with ambition to be the opposite. While this lady is sucking the fat off of the chicken bone I just feel like exercising. When I'm sitting around the dinner table with a bunch of stoners I just want to do anything that is even a little productive. This sort of weirdo contact derived inspiration(is there a non-Mark term for this?) seems like it could be a very valuable tool for the rest of my life. So next time I start falling behind at life I just need to spend an hour or two with a person who is completely wasting his.

Rio Dulce, Utila, Mexico

Rio Dulce. The highlight was seeing a Coral snake inbetween my bedroom and my bathroom. At the last hour I changed my plans from Mexico to Honduras. I went with two Israelis and Wolf from Austria. Wolf will probably be the strangest drifter I ever meet and the stories involving him are not appropriate for posting. But they were funny.

Utila. I have another 500 little bites from the stupid sandflies. I also have my PADI license which I am pleased about. I roomed there with Wolf and Cam from NZ. Cam was the first traveler I´ve met that I actually got along with really well. He was also my diving buddy.

A quick (Central American quick) trip through Belize and I´m sitting in Chetumal Mexico with nothing to do. I wanted to get a haircut but both of the shops I found were apparently closed due to Mexico playing in the World Cup. I bought a ticket to Palenque and will leave tmrw night.

In other news, this whole school orientation business really bothers me. Why do I need to register in person and have a tour of the school? I am really not concerned with making any friends or finding a nice student group to be a part of. I basically want to take classes so I can get a job. I picked the latest time to go back and register (1 month before the semester starts). I feel like the classes are all going to be full. Then I will have to go try and beg to get into classes. That´s so annoying. So I am going to have to sit around in Mpls with nothing really to do for a month. Century College and I are starting out on the wrong foot. They better have room for me...otherwise I will have ended my vacation a month early for nothing.

Adv. in Guatemala

So the last two weeks have been pretty crazy. In chronological order:

Panajachel and San Pedro. Both on Lago de Atitlan "the most beautiful lake in the world," a huge collapsed volcano. Panajachel was nice but there wasn´t much to do and nowhere to go swimming. The little girls were the most persistant little vendors I´ve ever seen. Well they were exactly the same as the old ladies except not so scary.

San Pedro: I met up with a friend of the friend I went there with, played pool, ate food and swam a lot. I guess this trip was 4 days of being lazy on the lake. Everything here is really cheap...a hotel can run you 3 dollars.

Semuc Champey and the caves. They were cool. Semuc is the most beautiful place I´ve ever been and there weren´t many people there. I went there with Jasper from Germany - Sarah´s friend from San Pedro. We stayed in Coban the first night in a hotel that sucked and then we were up for the 5am bus only to find that we were locked in and couldn´t find anyone to open the door. We arrived in Semuc early and it just happened to be the one day of the week that they offer a tour to the caves and the hot spring pool things. So we went. The caves were full of water and we had to swim through parts. I of course wasn´t allowed to bring my camera so no pics. We carried candles, slipped through little crevices, slid down little slides and I jumped off about a 10 foot ledge into the pools. They were fun.

Tikal. Tikal is a big Mayan site. It was pretty nice but after completing my history major I no longer have any interest in these things. I do like climbing huge structures and contemplating what the heck they were thinking when they built this stuff in 90 degree weather...I do this while the tour guide is at the bottom explaining it to everyone. Also Howler Monkies are my new favorite animal.

El Mirador. The largest Mayan ruins in Central America. I went there with another German dude that I met a few weeks ago at school. And we were of course the only tourists there!!! The reason for this is it´s a 3 hour car ride from the nearest city with internet...followed by 2 days of hiking through the jungle, one day of sightseeing and then 2 days back. To sum it up: about 50 miles in 5 days
about 10 of those on a horse (or a mule if you want to get technical)
90+ degree weather
the rainy season
15-30 horsefly bites
25-40 ticks.
50-100 mozzy bites
walking through mud up to my knees (New Balance....your "All Terrain" shoes need a new name).
Taking only DEET showers.
And I still love howler monkies.

And just wait until you see how studly I look riding around a mule. I felt kind of like those crazy death guys in the Lord of the Rings....only more badass. And I now know where the term dumbass comes from. Badass....I have no idea.

I had another fun day today but I´m too lazy to blog about it now...and I decided I´m going to Honduras in 2 days.

druk druk druk. That means busy busy busy in Danish for all you non-worldly people.

dag dag dag. That means bye bye bye in danish....but only weird people say it.

marcos

Guilty

Normally I never feel guilty about anything. The reason for this is that I usually don't do anything to feel too guilty about...and when I do it's an honest mistake or misunderstanding and I apologize. But yesterday was different...3x.


1. I bought some ice cream for about $1. I paid with what I am pretty sure was about $2. The girl gave me change for $13 (the largest bill here). Now the reason I didn't correct this mistake was because I gave her the benefit of the doubt and just assumed that I was mistaken. The bills here kind of look the same and they are old and crappy due to a lack of wallets (I shove my money in my pocket). And what was I supposed to do? Ask her if she made a mistake? I tell myself that even if she was correct she would have said she wasn't just to get my money. I also tell myself that my Spanish isn't good enough to communicate this to her. And lastly, if she figures out her mistake later she will without a doubt be more careful in the future and thus I was preventing her from further more important loses. Either way, I still feel kind of bad.

2. I had a library book. I am in a different city now...but I still have it. After school I walked by the place to give it back but they were closed. They didn't have those handy drop-off boxes and I coulnd't just set it on the sidewalk. To check out the book all I had to do was write down my name on a list.

3. The dog always jumped on me and barked at me. I would always kick it. Last night it was doing the same thing. It was late at night so all the lights were off and I could only see from the street lights. I grabbed the broom and I took a big swing at what I thought was it´s butt...only it was it's head. She started whimpering and running in circles. She was crying so much that my host mom came all the way from downstairs to ask what happened. This morning I looked at it and one eye was half closed. I'm glad it was my last day there because I really wouldn't want to explain to a 6 and a 12 year old what happened to their dog. It really is hard to teach and old dog new tricks. I don't feel bad for hitting it. I just feel bad that the family is going to have to just guess as to what their foreign exchange student did to their dog. But in all honesty I think the adults will get a good laugh out of it.

In Mark news...I'm still in Guatemala. At Panejachel on Lago de Atitlan. I leave tomorrow.

Monterrico

I went to Monterrico this weekend with a bunch of other drifters. Highlights include..

sitting on the beach in a hammock drinking smoothies
jumping around in waves
eating food that didn't contain any beans

mentionable things...

minor sunburn
taking a big whipe out while walking
buying sandals that say Italy all over them
not getting as many mozzy bites as Rob
seeing more wildlife in our hotel rooms and restaurants than on our wildlife boat tour

strange/scary things...
Sara fainting in the restaurant.
Me trying to dig sand out of Diego's eye with a toothpick (I got it).

And finally one story. I was sitting on a hammock next to Myrna. She was writing, I asked her if she had a diary (en espanol). She thought I said diarrhea. We then had what we each thought was a normal conversation (well except for the part where I would have been asking her all these personal questions about her digestive system). The whole time I just thought she was talking about her diary and she thought I was talking about diarrhea. I was laughing so hard. It's kind of one of those you had to be there moments that I will think of everytime I hear the word diary. The toothpick story is for another day.

Antigua

Well, I've been in Guatemala for just over two weeks. So far I've come to a few conclusions...well I'm kind of thinking of them as I type but oh well.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to learn Spanish. I fall back on the "I'm too old to learn a language excuse."

No matter how hard I try I will never be able to spend all my money in 3 months.

And, ice cream here is like ice cream back home.

Really, not much has been going on here. I have a cool family that likes to cook beans and onions and watch soap operas...but for kids. I am not sure if we have that equivalent in the US. I sit on a hammock all afternoon and nap, read or stare at the huge volcano that is visible from my roof. I live with a dog and it hasn't been trained very well. Over the next two weeks it's training should be complete. I prefer the shoe or broom to the face method...for the dog, not me. Other than that, there isn't really much to say. I've been taking pics but forgot my cord to upload them. I'll put them on a CD eventually and upload that way.

This weekend I'm going to the ocean for some relaxing. Basically I'll be comparing the hammock and volcano view with the hammock and ocean view...I hope. Two weeks from now I will hopefully be getting my PADI cert. and then cruising around in Lake Atitlan - a collapsed volcano.

I will not be learning to salsa and I have a farmers tan that any farmer would envy. Today I walked around looking for a tailor to sew up the hole in my pocket but I couldn't find one (I had a map with the X). I also withdrew money from the bank with out any problms. I can't think of anything else now. I tried to ask my teacher if he'd ever been robbed but I asked him if he'd ever robbed anyone. I didn't know what I'd said until he started explaining to me how he has morals etc. So that, more or less, is what i've been up to.

hasta luego, marcos

Not comment worthy

Jordan, this is for you in case you ever feel like having a video to help prove your points. Well, it may not help but it's funny and when I saw it I thought of you. Then right after it I found this one. I was hoping to find a video to help Nicole prove a point but instead I think it just shows a man knowing when to wear a helmet. Oh well, I don't think she reads this blog anyway.

Chris, I miss you.

Edit: Here is one for Nicole even though I don't think she comes here and I don't think I know who she is. Warning: the title says it all.


Back to semi-blog retirement
Mark

Huge increase.

So I have this weird student. He never seems like he wants to be there. He dozes off, text messages and spends the rest of the time looking out the window. So I was kind of messing with him one day, I can't remember all the details, but we ended up talking about girl problems. I guess when he was 14 he was talking to a girl he liked and one of his friends came by and said "ohhh, is that the girl you like?" Since then he hasn't been able to talk to a girl (he's in uni now).

So being the creative and caring teacher I am, I played the part of the girl. His job was to try and talk to me. Since he is afraid to talk, I told him to just end everything with a question. He kept forgetting so I had this big question mark on a piece of paper that I would hold up. And before you even start, yes, I know I am the last guy on Earth to be giving advice on how to speak with girls. But teaching someone how to order Hawaiian pizza gets old after about...1 time. Our conversation went something like this:

Him: Hi.
Me: Hello.
H. Do you like math?
Me. No, I like art.
H. I don't.
Me. (holding the ? sign)

Me. (as the teacher again, telling him he just messed up.)

Take 2

H. Hi.
Me. Hello.
H. Do you like (some J TV show).
Me. What's that?
H. A tv show.
Me. I've never seen it. What's it about?
H. It's about robots.
Me. (reminding him about the ?'s and telling him to never talk about robots with a girl)

Our staff is made up of a bunch of young J girls so I gave him some lines on a piece of paper to say as he left. "Hello, how's it going?" and "I like your haircut." I was standing behind the staff as he checked out frantically jumping up and down and waving my hands in that sort of encouraging type of way. He didn't even make eye contact with her. I failed.


And from a different lesson:

So let's say we are telling stories. I give my students a couple seconds to brainstorm and think up a true story. Of course they never have any. I always do the story lessons because then I don't have to talk. When they can't think of a story I have to assign them one. Then I get to hear funny quotes like:

-you have to train your bunny.
-maybe she just touched the bunny somewhere the bunny didn't want her to.


And from yesterday, a guy was reading to me from his book.

Him. ....this will result in a hug increase.
Me. What?
Him. I don't get it.
Me. What? A hug increase. Read it again.
Him. (reading it again, the same.
Me (laughing at him)

No hablo espanol

I just bought a ticket - Mpls to Guatemala. $287. May 2nd. The only problem will be leaving at 6am. I of course will have to arrive early. Which means I might be asking someone with nothing to do for a ride at a very odd hour. It's at moments like this that I am glad I have such loving and caring friends back in MN!

hahaha

What's that fuss?

This one just amazed me.

Dude: People in America all ride the train.
15ish yr old girl: No they don't, some ride buses. Don't you know Rosa Parks?


I wonder where he got the train idea from. I would have thought SUVs or something. Funny.

Mountains

So this is what it is and what I will have to do. There are 3 parts of this I will have to go through. But first, the vocab.

Prosthetic technician. They make limbs. Thats all (I think). No patients, white coats or liability. For this I will need a two year tech degree. I am counting on this being fun, interesting and not too hard.

Prosthetist. These are the guys that boss around the technicians. They also deal with the patients (sizing, fitting, adjusting etc.). And they can also make limbs too (no surgery). Getting this position will take a little more work.

There are a couple other positions but all the language and education paths just confused me, but those seem to be the main two.

To be a prosthetist I will first have to do the 2 yr tech degree followed by a 1 year residency. Then I will have to do another 2 yr program for the prosthetist part with a 1 yr residency again. So one could start and finish their residency in six years (well add a few more because a 4yr deg is req). The part that will complicate everything is that to get accepted into the second program I will have to first complete the following

Biology Minimum 3 semester hours
Chemistry Minimum 3 semester hours
Physics Minimum 3 semester hours
Psychology Minimum 3 semester hours
Algebra or higher Math Minimum 3 semester hours
Human Anatomy and Physiology (with Lab) Minimum 6 semester hours


So far I have 1 semester of bio and a 4 yr degree...and the math I guess. I think a very motivated person could mix a lot science classes into the first 3 yrs. I think if I do choose this path I will end up taking 20 credits for the first 2 years - the reg 15 for the tech plus 1 science class each sem - then a load of science in the summer. This decision would of course depend on the difficulty of the tech degree but for some reason I'm not too worried about it. I am not even sure what 3 semester hours means. Someone told me it equals 2 semesters. The other thing I will have to find out, prolly by talking to someone in person, is what admissions is like into the last part. It says a "C" or better is required in all of the classes. Does that mean you get in then? Geez, I could take 25 credits a semester then! haha

Well I am getting way ahead of myself. Well, now you all know the strange things that have been running through my head for the last two weeks. Also I am trying to find the cheapest ticket home, a ticket to Cent Am., figure out when to leave and what to do when my fam is here for 2 weeks.

Also, Jordan, I had this really witty comment typed up about the STD song and then I hit enter and my internet disconnected!!!!!!!!!!

And FYI I live on the side of a mountain. Tonight I ran up to this temple. 480 steps. Started off with street lights and then turned into lanterns! The last couple of times I tried and failed - these pics are from a few months ago. It's a nice night trip. I counted the steps on the way down cause I'm a nerd.

phase 1

I want to be a prosthetist. I think it is feasible...except I will finish up with it when I am in my early 30's. As sad as it may seem, it is the first time I've wanted to be something since I was like 6. Well, I've always wanted to be "something," I just never knew what that was. It's annoying because anytime I make some important life decision it's always one that I could just have easily made five years earlier had my head been screwed on a little tighter (or is it straighter?).

Anyway, I am really anxious to do some job shadowing. Hopefully this isn't just a phase if it is my life will be back to directionless.

My plans to live in Central America have not changed...well except for the part where I job shadow down there. yeah, that will be cool. I'm excited.

Classifieds

If you or anyone you know needs/wants to borrow a laptop for the 06/07 school year let me know. It has a wireless card and everything else you could ever want....except for a huge harddrive, dvd burner or expensive graphics card. Also the battery is shot...I think they are around 50 bucks.

Shirts etc.

The Policeman Style
The importance of the life the very light
children think. It is sometimes learned
By bringing up a creature not only oppose
But also think once when children say it
"I want to keep a creature."

The thing that sucks about these shirts (besides the obvious) is that when they cram in so much writing it makes it hard to read. It's hard to look attentive and try and figure out these proverbs at the same time. Here is a better one:

Big Baby on the me.
The baby is riding on my back now.

Me: What does your shirt mean?
Seiji: The baby is a symbol of my pressure.

OH Canada!

This isn't even Mark blogworthy. The fact that it's on CNN International is just as ridiculous.

"Of more than 2,500 university and college students polled across Canada, 87 percent of them are having sex over instant messenger, Webcams or the telephone, according to results of a national survey released on Monday." And "eighty-seven percent of those polled claimed to be sober at the time."

Now something confuses me about this report. I am sure there is a perfectly logical explanation. But why is "Webcams" capitalized? Is it a proper noun? That is what I would assume but to me it has always been the generic term for any camera you plug into your comp with the purpose of recording/sending some type of video. And if so, why isn't "instant messenger" also capitalized. To me, "instant messanger" is AOL Instant Messenger. It is not a general term for all online chat programs. The popular ones all have their own respective names such as MSN/Windows Messenger or Yahoo! Messenger.

Well, the other problem I have is that CNN makes it sound like this is a kind of ultra safe sex. But still, if you get virtually engaged, how are you going to tell your virtual wife that you've had virtual sex with all sorts of virtual girls (aka dudes)? And what about all those computer viruses? Oh no!

Cameras, futures and guns.

Mark! Thank you so much!!!! I love it! I was totally expecting like um... a tshirt or something... I'm super excited! And it fits in my pocket for this summer!!

Thank you!!!

Karen


That was an email from my sister. I bought her a digital camera off of ebay. Every year for Christmas she gets me something. Probably for many of my birthdays too. I've never really kept track of the plus/minus ratio but I am pretty sure this is the first time I've bought my sister anything for Christmas or her Bday...EVER! It has always been a combination of being broke and selfish I guess. And it's easy for me to fall back on the old "Christmas isn't about presents" thing (which is still true - I think). Anyway, it feels good to do something nice for someone once every 25 years, at least now she will know not to expect anything for the next 5-10.

In more important news, last night/early this morning I decided what I want to do for the rest of my life. After 25 years of being clueless, it feels nice just to feel like I have some kind of direction or goal. And of course it coincides nicely with the giving of my first ever Christmas gift (well one worth more than a couple $'s). I should have given her a present when I was 18.

The good thing is that I'm very optimistic as far as my chances of going through with everything. The bad news is I will have to take another 100 credits AND the wonderful Chem/Phyisics combo. Oh, and psych, but that shouldn't be a big deal. So, 115 credits plus after the first 60 I have to work for a year before I can get accepted into the second 40 credits. I think I can fit the first 60 credits into one year if they'll let me...cause I am so darn ambitious. I'll let y'all know what it is in a week if I still want to do it.

two birds

Long after I'd arrived home from Ghana I began to regret not sending my bulk emails to myself. I updated everyone on what was going on but never kept a copy. I plan on doing this in Guatemala. I think I will just be adding them to my blog. Two birds with one stone you know. Or something like that. Here is an email I just sent to my aunt's. It basically sums up my entire 10 months here. Note to self: you were in a bad mood when you wrote it...and you still are. I had a long NOTE TO FUTURE SELF blog planned. That will be later............



How come I never hear from any of you? Where are the "aunt updates?" I get the Nate email updates like once every six months...and when I graduated Nate didn't even know how to work a computer. I think he wrote all his papers with a pencil he whittled. Anyway, you have probably been wondering where all the "mark updates" have been over the last year (ok maybe not). Well, there has been nothing to update on. But I am sending one along anyway.

I teach English to Japanese people, since I have a very small frame of reference I can't be sure if it's this job or work in general....but I am currently wondering how people work for their entire lives, work sucks. As I sit in the staff room cutting and pasting "resources" that will hit the trash before they ever get used for anything - I stare at the folder containing the "resignation slips" and ignore its taunts and insults. But lately it has been teasing me a lot. The only reason I haven't quit is because I have loads of cash in the bank and nothing to spend it on.... no wait, it's because my parents want to come visit at the end of my contract...in about 2 months.

I just emailed my dad and asked him if he would prefer to backpack around India for a month as opposed to two weeks in J land. We'll see what he says. I am anticipating either my mom deletes it or he replies with "I would love to but...I must work for 4 hours a week." I also invited my mom...I know she could only come for 2 weeks though. Oh well. Next time you hear grandma talking about how adventurous her son is, just remind her that he shot down a month long chance to bond with his eldest. Wanna come? we never hang out anymore

Well, outside of teaching for 35 or so hours a week, commuting for the 50 min each way and trying to meet girls on the internet I spend most of my free time at martial arts. Four days a week. It is my only real hobby here...maybe ever.

Well, a few weeks ago Nate emailed me one of those "so mark, I heard you.." emails. It was a little off, so... I plan on heading back to MN around mid april to visit MPLS, Duluth and (drumroll) LP. I have to renew my drivers license. And then I will be boarding a plane to Guatemala. I plan on staying there (or in that region) until I speak spanish. And that's about all.

Hope all is well. In case you ever have those childish "I'm his favorite aunt" competitions...well I can't confirm anything...except that my address book only has 3 aunts in it from the Terwey side. hahaha. Tell Ann I say hello. I hope everything is going ok in the West. I'll see you around someday.
your fav nephew
Mark

Bored?

Jordan, you might find this site interesting, you just strike me as the type...I don't know why. You other bored folk might also. It's some dude's list of common English mistakes. I only clicked on a few. I guess I am alright...or all right. Most of the words/phrases he lists are not ones that I use but I guess it's interesting to read them anyway. Well for about five min, depending on your boredom level.

The Twister

None of you will enjoy this. But I do. It's what I spend all my time trying to do. When I get it, it makes me happy. I'm a looser. Jiu Jitsu - The Twister. All except the last move.

Japanese values

My 5th post in 4 days. That has to be a record. I just found this funny. The thing about shirts here is they all say something in English, and as I've talked about before...they rarely make sense. I believe most people can read them, they just don't understand what they say. I've had students wearing weird stuff and I ask them about it and sometimes they say they know it doesn't make sense but they just don't care. Well my phone camera makes it a little blurry but if you can read the sign on the left side you might find it funny. Or I am lame.

Greenpeace

I like the environment. I like being outside. Trees, wild animals, some bugs, the sun, clouds and moutains. All that stuff is great.

People in Japan like whales. I haven't tried them but I guess they're quite tasty. The problem is, lots of other people like whales better in the ocean. I am not sure if this is news anywhere else in the world...it's not even really news here. But somewhere out at sea there is a Japanese whaling boat cruising around with Greenpeace boats following it, trying to disrupt its whale killing mission. I have no problems with whales, whalers or people who want to protect them. The thing is, when you combine all three, you just get a big mess. A big mess of conflicting ideals usually results in one of two things, a lot of dead people or a funny story. In this case it's the latter...with a bunch of dead whales.

Well I don't really know that much about the whole thing. I read the pro and con articles for both sides and they were as expected:

Whales are special, they have feelings, they're smart. There aren't many left so we should save them so they can reproduce and be plentifull.

Whales taste good and we are hungry. Too bad your western parents and grandparents killed off all the whales in the first place...along with all the wolves, sharks, bison etc etc etc. Please pass the salt.

Well, I have no problem with the anti-whaling ideology, but I have to say the way they are going about it is ridiculous. They are following the ship, trying to scare away the whales and then positioning their rafts inbetween the whales and the harpoons. Well, the whole point of this blog is that the pictures are funny...in a strange sort of way. Both are from the GP website, official I think. One is the sign on the J boat which hilarious. The other is the J boat spraying the GP rafts as they follow it, also hilarious.

Beginning of Mark's 2 month weight loss program

I planned on going on a diet starting in Dec. It lasted one day...just enough time to blog about it. Then I got sick and went to Hawaii where I ate all the free food I could. So I'm starting over. 81.8kgs. I have just over two months left here, we'll see how it goes.

I can't believe I just typed up this blog about nothing

I used to have these sweatpants that I got my freshman year. I had them for about 5 years and I wore them all the time. The other day I was like "where are my sweatpants?" I somehow managed to not bring them to Japan. Not only that but I don't remember putting them in a safe place. I only left one little tupperware box thingy back at home...full of photos and crap like that that I don't need to carry with me. Did I put them in there? How odd. I think I started wearing sweatpants all the time around 6th grade. That's about when I got rid of my blankie. In my 6th grade class pictures I am wearing sweatpants...I look ridiculous, everyone else is all dressed up. Well, the point of this story is just to let everyone know that I miss my sweatpants. It's cold here (well like 30F) and my heat doesn't really do much other than ring up a big bill. The other night I was freezing and as I left for work in the morning I realized that my door was an inch open. Good one Mark.

Mark news: I am not renewing my contract. So I will finish at the end of March. My parents are coming to see Japan and I will get back to MN mid-April sometime. From there the plan is to visit peeps for a couple weeks then I am off (hopefully) to the wonderful land of Guatemala. Since I have been trying really hard to save money I will basically be the richest unemployed person there...which probably means I will just get robbed.

Back to my original pointless post: does anyone else think girls are more attractive when they are wearing sweatpants? It seems so superficial to judge one on their clothes, but all the expensive jeans in the world will never equal cheap sweatpants. But if they're pink, say anything on the butt or they are too tight, well that is just stupid. Return those. Oh yeah, and another thing I mentioned in my fashion blog...no tucking in your shirt, unless you want to be shunned by all the cool kids.

Also I schooled that little 14 year old again tonight. I can rest easy, there is no way that he will get good enough to beat me in the next two months.

Top 25 MMA comebacks

This might sound strange to most people, but I really like watching people fight. Not drunken street brawls or any other chemical induced rage type of fighting, but 2 people who know what they are doing going at it is just fun for me to watch. I don't know why. I say it's because I'm a guy but I realize most guys don't share this strange fascination. So here is my favorite highlight video.

Some of them are kind of boring and a little brutal. But starting at about the 20:20 mark it gets good. I watch it in the morning and it gets me ready for a long day of teaching. The top three spots are of course reserved for Jiu Jitsu guys...of course since it's a comeback vid it means they were getting the crap kicked out of them for the most part. JJ is keeping me sane in Japan. It's hard to explain but it's true.

I long to wait in line at the DMV

So I got my driver's license renewal app in the mail today. Let's just say it's not as simple as it should be. This is how it should be. You should address the envelope to the DMV, put in your picture, address, a crispy $20 and you're good to go

They've actually seemed to make me just want to either fly back to MN and renew the stupid thing in person, or just not renew it at all. Last time I renewed it I swear all I had to do was stand in line for an hour so they could take my picture, have me fill out some form and give them 20 bucks. The address on my license doesn't even exist and it has never been an issue at all.

So maybe the rules have changed, but if they haven't, then this is just one nasty way of trying to inconvenience people who live out of state. I have to go to a "Licensed Vision Examiner" and have him fill out this form. I went to the optometist about one week ago...great. Then I have to sign the form in front of a "notary public." But, if I'm out of the country, I just need to find a "judge, clerk or deputy clerk of court, U.S. foreign service or consular officer." That sounds convenient, I can't even find toilet paper how am I going to find a deputy clerk of court. And finally, a step that should be easy but it's just not...I have to send a check or money order. I don't have any checks and as easy as a money order sounds, it just sucks having to do stuff like that using hand motions and strange grunts

And to just complain a little more, what makes all this even worse is I have convinced myself that ND, SD, IA and WI all have online systems where you enter your license #, upload a face pic, enter your address, credit card info and hit enter. Then 4 days later you get a nice package containing your new ID and a written thank you note from a pretty girl.

Tired of getting sick? Sick of getting tired?

Well scientists can now help you with the first problem. According to scientists, getting really cold can result in a (drumroll) cold!!!!

I guess this is one of those things I've always assumed. Probably because my parents told me so...and their parents told them the same thing. I am glad that the high cost of healthcare is going to fund studies such as this. Although it's England so who knows. At least it didn't come from the UofMN. This story seems so odd to me that I am at a loss of words to mock it. I am curious as to what other theories they had as to why people are always sick in the winter. The fewer hours of daylight? Basketball season? Christmas shopping anxiety? Wool allergies?

I guess I always thought that being really cold kind of weakened the immune system. But what the heck do I know. When people are frozen in ice for thousands of years and then thawed out they never seem sick, just confused by our non-solar thawing methods and our strange clothes.

In Mark news, I have two days left of vacation and then two months left of work. Also in Japan it's cold and EVERYONE seems to be sick. In Hawaii it's 80 and no one seems to be sick. Of course the reasons for this are most likely poison gas residue in the trains as well as poor immune systems due to strange fashion and driving on the left side of the road. Hawaiians are of course very healthy due to their salt water humidifiers and big mac IV's.

Back to Mark news. I have determined that I have an attention span of 22 minutes and 30 seconds....give or take about 30 seconds depending on if I'm sitting in a chair or on the floor. The study was also performed at room temp while I was sick but I'm not sure if that affects anything.

The North Shore

I'll admit it, I've seen Baywatch a few times. Thankfully as a kid I didn't have whatever channel it was on. But I managed to watch it a few times at a friend's house. I can't say I enjoyed it, but seeing the typical day of a lifeguard gave me a much deserved sense of security everytime I went to the beach. In my little town there didn't seem to be as much drama on the beach, probably because on a hot day there were 20 people there. Some of the lifeguards were my friends and I wouldn't trust them with preparing me a sandwich...let alone my life.

On the local Oahu news tonight they were talking about the surf and it actually reminded me of Baywatch. They said the waves were 6-10 feet and the lifeguards on the North Shore pulled out 18 different people. Crazy!! Tomorrow there will be a "high surf advisory" with 15-20 foot waves!! In two days my pops and I will head up there and watch.

Today we went for a hike on the east side, I'm not sure of the name, I'll post pics later. We saw a few whales. I'll be honest, I was thinking about harpooning.

Integrity

Today I had this kind of funny memory from my flight over here. My story telling abilities are pretty poor and my sense of humor is strange, so maybe I'll bore you all.

Well it starts in KIX airport. I decided to do something I'd never done before - buy some food and water from the airport. Well, on the plane the air-flight-people (I have no idea what's PC anymore) passed out the customs things and they said something similar to:

1. Will you bring any goods through customs that you purchased in the country of departure?
Me: Yes
2. What was the cost of these goods?
Me: $1

Then going through customs the guy asks me about my $1 purchase. So I tell him that I had a candy bar at the time, but I ate it a few hours after I filled out the survey. Very sincerely he says "wow, you're really honest." And that was it, I just thought it was funny. I should have said something like "yes, you're right, I am a real honest guy..smart and good looking too."

The End

Today I went surfing, read about 4 pages of Harry Potter en espanol and cleaned. It's about 80 here everyday so I went jogging yesterday. First time in like 3 months and I can feel it. till next time my dedicated readers...aka future me.

mark

Reverse pop culture shock

When I went to Japan my mother gave me a book on culture shock. I skimmed through about the first half of it. I thought it was kind of funny. It wasn't really relevant to me as I didn't have culture shock. My previous travels brought me to Germany for a month, West Africa for 2 months and Mexico for 3 months. So Japan's nothing. In fact, throughout all of my travels I have only had culture shock twice. Minor CS when I was in Africa, and significant CS upon returning to the US. Currently in Hawaii after 10 months of Japan I wouldn't say I have reverse culture shock, but rather a different form of culture shock. Returning just after the New Year, I am unfortunate enough to catch all of VH1's Best of Worst of 2005 shows. What I have realized is that I am completely out of touch with US pop culture. Not only do I not know what these featured "stars" did that was so horrible or amazing, but I don't know who they are OR the movies, TV shows or bands that they are in. I'm not sure how I feel about my pop culture knowledge. I find it kind of satisfying that I can say I have no clue what these celebrities are up to. On the otherhand, I feel kind of left out. I think I prefer how it is now. Since I don' t care about their movies or what they're up to.

my dad

Everyone says "you're just like your father." Well...people that know both of us. In some ways I am, but in some ways I am not. My dad is an engineer. I don't know anything about that stuff. I'm not even sure if I spelled it right. And he really likes all things that 50 something year old engineer farm kids would like. I don't really like anything to do with engineering - at least as far as the thought that goes into it. Same for farming, I grew up working summer jobs at farms and I dislike pretty much everything to do with farming except for the end result - food. He also remains constantly busy - something I envy. My dad, along with my mom, moved to Hawaii a few years ago, thus he gave up his business of welding, repairing, drilling and all the other ings that go into working at your own machine shop. His constant desire to be doing things, along with his interests and the options in Hawaii have made for some interesting time killing activities.

Leaving his children on the mainland, he would of course have to find something to replace this void. That was the easy part - biking, hiking and surfing. But how would he fill the farmboy engineer void? Well, first he got a volunteer position as a welder on the USS Missouri. Perfect for a guy like my dad. What would seem like a difficult and dirty job for some is of course perfect for my dad. He gets to weld AND be on a huge battleship with big guns - a historic one at that. In my last trip to Hawaii I got the tour. The free and unlimited tour that battleship enthusiasts would only dream about. I, of course, had no appreciation really at all for it, but it was kinda fun to see my dad so excited about the different welds that kept this thing from falling apart as it's huge something something diameter guns blasted away during WWII. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate big guns just as any Midwestern country boy does, but the thickness of the hull is something I will never really get too excited about. I can only imagine that half the time he is working he is actually day dreaming about taking the ship out to sea and blowing some stuff up...that's what I would be thinking - and that is exactly what I was thinking during the tour.

There are also pictures on the computer of people laying railroad tracks. This is another thing he volunteered for. I am not sure how many people volunteered, but I can't imagine the "come volunteer with us, we'll be laying railroad tracks" flyer got too many volunteers. But this is the kind of thing my dad probably really enjoyed - at least enough to take pictures of. As a kid, I remember him taking our family on a tour of a railroad car. While I am sure he thought it was really cool, I don't remember it being anything special and I doubt my mom or sis did either. There are also pictures of my dad at his Christmas time volunteer job. A mall train driver. While most people would probably assume he did it to help entertain kids, I can only assume that my dad had more fun cruising around on a train than the kids did. If he had the chance to drive a real train on the tracks that he spent so much time putting down, I doubt he would have been shuttling brats around the mall while their parents went Christmas shopping.

Well, as far as I know, no one that actually knows my father reads this blog and my family is unaware that I even have one. But if someday they stumble upon it, I just want my dad to know that I admire his ambition and his ability to put in so many hours into the things he is passionate about, even if I think they are strange things. I say this in hopes that in the future I will also be able to take part in the things that I enjoy...I don't do that now.

And on a different note, after doing spell check (no mispellings - at least according to Mr. Spell Check), I think it's about time that they incorporate the word "blog" into their dictionary. How ironic!!!!!

"tp for my bunghole" is a famous quote by.....

Well I still have a cold. I went through 2 rolls of TP in the last two days. I use three squares each time I blow my nose. If I knew how many squares were in each roll I would do the math and come up with a really cool statistic. Oh well. Anyway, I ran out of tp this morning so I had to go buy some. I ended up getting the scented kind and regret it very much. Unfortunately I didn't have much of a choice due to my communication ability. I can't even read. Anyway, why you would ever want the scented kind is beyond me. It smells worse than crap. Of course I had to find out the hard way...by blowing my nose with it (the tp, not crap). I now have this apparently permanent artificial flowery aroma glued to the most inconvenient of spots - my nose area. Lame. Anyway...let's imagine you are in this scenario:

You have a bad cold and need toilet paper to prevent snot from getting all over your face. You don't have any at home. You are in the store. It closes in 3 minutes. You can't find any and you don't speak the local language. What do you do?

Although finding a different store is not the most creative option, it's what I did. I guess when it all comes down to it, I have too much pride to convey my tp need via theatre. Lame.

In Mark news, I've been going to a lot of temples the last few days. Apparently it's the temple season or something. I find them kind of boring but it's fun to see other people having fun. That's how my sad self finds enjoyment I guess. Lame