So I have this weird student. He never seems like he wants to be there. He dozes off, text messages and spends the rest of the time looking out the window. So I was kind of messing with him one day, I can't remember all the details, but we ended up talking about girl problems. I guess when he was 14 he was talking to a girl he liked and one of his friends came by and said "ohhh, is that the girl you like?" Since then he hasn't been able to talk to a girl (he's in uni now).
So being the creative and caring teacher I am, I played the part of the girl. His job was to try and talk to me. Since he is afraid to talk, I told him to just end everything with a question. He kept forgetting so I had this big question mark on a piece of paper that I would hold up. And before you even start, yes, I know I am the last guy on Earth to be giving advice on how to speak with girls. But teaching someone how to order Hawaiian pizza gets old after about...1 time. Our conversation went something like this:
Him: Hi.
Me: Hello.
H. Do you like math?
Me. No, I like art.
H. I don't.
Me. (holding the ? sign)
Me. (as the teacher again, telling him he just messed up.)
Take 2
H. Hi.
Me. Hello.
H. Do you like (some J TV show).
Me. What's that?
H. A tv show.
Me. I've never seen it. What's it about?
H. It's about robots.
Me. (reminding him about the ?'s and telling him to never talk about robots with a girl)
Our staff is made up of a bunch of young J girls so I gave him some lines on a piece of paper to say as he left. "Hello, how's it going?" and "I like your haircut." I was standing behind the staff as he checked out frantically jumping up and down and waving my hands in that sort of encouraging type of way. He didn't even make eye contact with her. I failed.
And from a different lesson:
So let's say we are telling stories. I give my students a couple seconds to brainstorm and think up a true story. Of course they never have any. I always do the story lessons because then I don't have to talk. When they can't think of a story I have to assign them one. Then I get to hear funny quotes like:
-you have to train your bunny.
-maybe she just touched the bunny somewhere the bunny didn't want her to.
And from yesterday, a guy was reading to me from his book.
Him. ....this will result in a hug increase.
Me. What?
Him. I don't get it.
Me. What? A hug increase. Read it again.
Him. (reading it again, the same.
Me (laughing at him)
7 comments:
I think its wonderful that you are trying to teach the young and innocent about how to interact with women. Please don't give up on them...even if they continue to talk about robots (I like to talk about ninja turtles, so perhaps there's a woman out there who enjoys robots).
Mark - I know I don't know you very well. But DELETE THE PREVIOUS MESSAGE NOW! Ick.
Thank you. :)
It really makes me feel powerful...being able to delete comments with the click of a button. Is there an option where I can modify comments? I will change them all to Mark Praise. MUHAHAHAHAHAA
Mark,
This has nothing to do with your blog entry but I wanted to let you know that I will be in Japan for all of 2 hours next Monday so we will be in the same country at the same time in a far away land.
I also see that my comments now have to be approved by you...I hope this comment gets approved.
Also, I hate it when Laura's cousin writes nasty things in your blog...he does that to me sometimes too :-)
This is Mark. I am currently without computer...in Japan. So all my interesting blogs will have to wait. See you in MN.
Now I wished I could have read that comment because it was snatched away from me :(. Curiosity...
I think laughing at the kids is probably good for them, because then they'll realize that they'll never attain to anything and then when they don't, they won't feel so bad.
A quote from Mark, last night in the States:
Scene: Mark and three of us girls are walking down the street by the University of Minnesota. Some party guys on a roof call out to us.
Crissy: "We should have a contest to see who can score first!"
Me: "I bet it will be Mark!"
Mark: "No doubt! I could score, like, TEN TIMES before you guys could!"
:)
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