Drama in Mexico and Jiu Jitsu 101

So as the title suggests, there was a little drama in Mexico two nights ago. Also, since I always write about BJJ and nobody knows (or cares)anything about it I will be introducing some possibly new terms.

It all started at about 4am. I was in a hostel sleeping, as I often am at this hour. I awake to the sound of 8 girls screaming their lungs out. My thought was the same as every other guy who has been in this situation..."girls, it´s early, please shutup." After about 10-15 seconds of screaming I put on my glasses and went over to the ladies dorm. They were crying and flapping around their hands like flightless birds. They explained to me that some Mexican dude had been under one of the beds. Upon being found he jumped out of the window...the same one he came in.

The window (second floor) had the glass panels removed and there was a ladder under it that he had placed there. I pulled the ladder up through the window and was shining a flashlight around all the bushes (outside of the window was basically a junkyard). I was assuming he was in the bushes so I was talking to him, pretending like I could see him.

The neighbors were all up due to girl screams and said that they found him but wanted one of the girls to identify him. I walked down with one of the girls and she confirmed it. The neighbor was holding a big stick from the junkyard and had him cornered. They called the police but for some reason (maybe because it´s Mexico) there was no answer. So the neighbor boy took off on his bike to go get the police. I sat down on the curb blocking the guy´s exit.

After a couple minutes Mr. Pervert decides he´s going to make a break for it. That´s when our hero, we´ll call him Mark (aka the World´s Most Dangerous White Belt) demonstrates his love for martial arts with a double leg take down.















From there I went into the Mount.

Realizing that he may get the beating of a lifetime, our 130 pound villian gave up.
I was giving him the option to turn over because for a long time I have been wanting to Rear Naked Choke someone out, but he had apparently had enough. At this point I felt sorry for him. Sooner than later, the police arrived (led by a boy on a bicycle), handcuffed him, and threw him in the back of their truck. The girls were still busy doing their little flightless bird dance and the guys were sleeping.

So to conclude, because this happened at 4 in the morning, he must have been sitting in there for a long time because nobody saw him enter. Thus, he must be desperate and retarded. He had a bunch of blood dripping from his face and he was too injured to outrun an old fat man with a stick. And as I mentioned earlier, he was about 130-140. But just so you know, if he hadn´t been injured while jumping out of a second story building into a junkyard, was a little bigger and sane I would have still OWNED him.

Also, girls should stop screaming at spiders, mice and little crap like that because if something screamworthy actually happens nobody will care. There were six guys in our room and only two of us even went out. While I held the guy down the other guy told him in crappy Spanish (with an Italian accent) that if he ran we were going to kill him. I was trying not to laugh. The pictures are not from last night but I do kind of look like the little kid in red. They are from internet searches so sorry if they are copywritten or something.

This morning I went cave diving.

PS. AFter I wrote this blog I had to go to the police station to testify. They told me that the guy was drunk...so probably not retarded then.