The countdown begins

packing. in less than 48 hours i will be packed and out of this house. it reminds me of college. moving, packing, deadlines. i hate packing and getting ready for flights. i always have this anxiety caused by the thought in the back of my mind that something is going to go wrong. either i will miss my flight or i will get to the airport and they will say something about my visa or ticket and there will be this big problem. of course if i make the flight i could always end up in japan and then they will refuse to let me out of the terminal - it would be like the movie - except if i spend months in a terminal i probably wouldn't fall in love, let alone make any friends or get food. i would probably just go crazy and make some terroristic remark and end up in jail in japan. or maybe i can't find my ride and have to somehow get myself from the airport to my apartment by myself. i think i could get that done. why am i thinking about how frustrating that would be? i should just not think about it. of course having all the time in the world to pack would naturally lead me to wait until the last day to run all my errands and then pack,and say good bye to everyone.

kate, no talking about me at lunch. i can already imagine how your conversation went.
"remember last year when we had that weird roomate who was always in the kitchen?"

"oh yeah, what was his name, that funny looking kid?"

"i think it was mark."

"i am pretty sure he was taking 19 credits. with the amount of class time and homework that must have entailed, coupled with the amount of time he spend in the kitchen, he must have failed. what is he up to now? did he drop out, move out and burn out?"

"i don't know, but i am glad we were able to reclaim the kitchen again."

"yeah, now when i steal food i don't have to look over my shoulder to wait until he buries his head into his big bowl of leftover concoction."

"right on brother, and when i decide not to do someone else's dishes that i used, i don't have to feel like he is going to rat me out - i don't want a KPA spanking."

"yeah, the best part is when i sleepwalk into the kitchen naked at 4am i can help myself to whatever i want, dance my sleepwalk dance, sing my sleepwalk song, and eat kate's food in the nude. the next day i don't even feel any shame, our kitchen security guard has been relocated to a mall."


jerks.
MT

The ACLU strikes again.

It's always great when MN makes national news. Actually it's not. If 50% of news stories were positive, then I guess it would be good half the time. But...trading Randy Moss is the closest thing to good news MN has ever had - and I still think that's bad news. So everyone now knows that a MN high school student went on a school rampage. Yay! Of course nowdays that seems to happen. The odd thing is that he apparently obtained his ideals from neo-nazi websites. If a Native American tried to get into the Texas branch of the nazi party he would have some difficulties. In fact, the southern nazis would probably get a nice laugh out of the poor confused soul. But Minnesota? Yes. Watch out for those blue states. CA and NY, this could happen to you.

Since WWII, things have changed. With all this non-discrimination stuff floating around, the neo-nazis have had to take a strong look at themselves. They have broken tradition and changed their ideology. I guess that is where the neo comes from. Today, anyone can be a nazi. It no longer matters how much or how little white they have "in them." The neo-nazis are now an equal opportunity employer. Oh, how Hitler would cringe if he were alive today. He is probably spinning in his grave right now.

I am a traditionalist. While I am not a nazi, I think the neo-nazis need change - a sort of reversal. So to all those who claim to be neo-nazis who are reading this. Stick to your roots. Don't let the ACLU feed you all this civil liberties crap. Stay strong. Hate minorities. Next time some Indian kid visits your website looking for company, let him know that he is not welcome. You do not like Indians and you believe they are inferior. Repeat that a few times to yourself. Sure, your ideology may alienate you from your Indian, Jewish and African friends. But it will also pave the way to new friendships - with people just like you - who are pissed off and just want a friend. Again, stick to your roots. Tell all those minority nazi wannabes that they should just go make friends with other minorities, or normal "majorities." Does that make sense? Hitler did a pretty good job of getting Germany to hate Jews - while taking over Europe. And he died doing so, just so future nazis could reign supreme. And look at you losers? Taking his ideology and twisting it into some kind of all accepting hate group? That's pathetic. When you get to hell, Hitler is going beat you.

My feeding tube

My feeding tube is CNN and Fox News. I wish somebody would pull the plug and replace it with SNL reruns from the 90's. Being bored out of your mind has its disadvantages, but believe me, being bored out of your mind and having cable television has to be worse. Despite majoring in History and Global Studies, I have yet to figure out the different ideologies between the democrat/liberal and republican/conservative parties. And I know liberal and democrat etc. are not always synonomous, but I will be using them interchangably. I think people often put too much thought into everything when it is in fact very simple. One party will all of a sudden give very strong support for something (usually when it's bored or in trouble) and then the other party will instinctively oppose it (except war of course).

This whole feeding tube frenzy just baffles me. When did the liberals get on the whole "kill the handicapped" bandwagon. And when did the conservatives ever make a big deal out of rights for the handicapped? I have this theory that after the feeding tube was invented, liberals were all going "yay" while conservatives were saying "as long as it's not our tax dollars." And look at the situation now? I think if someone with political power ever wanted to actually get something done, all they would have to do is start a bill to do the opposite. And then when the other party opposes it, just say "ok, you win." It would be fast and efficient.

The whole argument aside, can't they at least propose a better way to end it? I mean maybe euthenasia is bad on a criminal, but can it be that bad on a handicapped person? See, if it were conservatives arguing for the right to die, it would be by euthanasia. It has to be better than starvation. Just give the husband a club or something. I would rather be clubbed to death by my spouse than starved to death. I mean Americans are killing themselves by eating too much - wouldn't that be the way to go? A heart attack - ideal. So the husband keeps saying "it's what she would have wanted, blahblah." (I can't actually cite that). But starving to death? Who wants that? Lots of Africans? No.

So finally, I am glad the good ol USA can find another huge international story to make itself look stupid. I guess why stop now. While people all over the world are fighting for actual rights (like rights to live etc.) the USA is fighting for the right to die. So, to all my dedicated readers from Asia, the Middle East, Africa and Central America. Save yourselves the bother of fighting for your actual rights. Before you know it, they will just come full circle and you will start all over again. So go back to your bunkers, and remember, those guys trying to kill you? I am sure it's what you would want if you were allowed to speak.

CNN/feeding tube

Today on CNN's website they posted their daily poll question. It is as follows: Would you want your relatives to remove the feeding tube if you were in a persistent vegetative state?

I hate these poll questions. They are always yes/no, good/bad, or agree/disagree. They never provide any type of context. What are all the factors. We need to know these things in if we want to properly contribute to a stupid unscientific poll. My true answer could always be either one depending on something.

So, the first problem with this question - why do relatives remove it? And why can't it just be a relative? How do they decide which relative removes it? Should it be the one who loves or hates you the most?

So what is my answer to the question? Well, it depends. It depends what they are feeding me. I guess what type of music they are playing in the background would also be a factor (they better have something going). If I am ever on a feeding tube - one of you better make sure that I am fat. If I am not, change whatever crap food they are giving me to brownies and double the intake. Also, add one extra serving around 9pm and a half dose at 3am. With no exercise I should get fat in no time. But if it doesn't work - I guess pull the plug. Just make sure that before you do you verbally give me your full name and where you live - just in case I am reincarnated as some rabid creature.

UMD 2000 - my longest blog ever - I think

I randomly checked out one of my CD's of homework from back in the day. I wish I would of saved it all (I only have one semester's worth). Rereading my old papers is about as much entertainment as someone with my brain capacity can handle. This is one from my interpersonal communication class. I was discussing the communication skills of Bush and Gore in the post-election fiasco that was going on (if you don't remember this I won't refresh your memory). Reading my crap makes me wonder how I ever graduated. So...

"Either way, they both seem to be making fools of themselves. I think it would be in the best interest of at least one of the candidates to just sit back and wait till its over. To me these are just unintended hits below the belt, only they are hitting themselves."

Here is another one from the same class. Some communication self evaluation or something stupid like that-

"I think that the most important thing I learned about myself in this class dealt with emotional expression. While I already knew that I am pretty mellow and passive at all times, I did come to the realization that maybe those reactions aren't always appropriate. While those responses represent me, sometimes it may be better for the relationships I have or am trying to build if I pretend to care more. While the people who know me well know that my apparent disinterest does not represent my actual feelings, people who are not as familiar with my reactions may assume that I don’t care about anything or I am just a negative person. So maybe in the future when somebody I don’t know tells me something that should, and does, make me happy I will put on the stereotypical happy face and move my arms around and stuff like that to help build a positive relationship with that person."

"and move my arms around and stuff like that." Really, I wish I knew how I got away with that kind of crap. I got an A in that class.

I also have a ridiculous paper that I wrote on squirrels. I think I pretty much plagarized the whole thing from encarta encyclopedia or something and then threw in a bunch of bogus citations - pretending like I got them from some academic sources or something. Again, I have no idea. Why on earth would a kid ever be writing a paper about squirrels in college. HAHA, yes I am aware that the last sentence was pretty sophmorish. I can feel my brain slowly regressing to my sophmore state. NOOO!

My advice to anyone still in college is to save their papers. They will be hilarious later - at least mine are. One thing I wish I would have done was make a note about the assignment. Reading this stuff I can't help but assume it was some BS assignment and the teacher didn't care. But who knows.

Osaka!!!

I am not in Osaka, but I wish I was. It's been several days since the dentist finished ripping up my gums. Because of my butchered mouth I had spent as much time as possible with my mouth closed and I didn't drink much water. After it healed awhile, I examined my mouth in the mirror - with a flashlight. This is the first time I ever did this - and probably the last. It was amazing though. The first thing I thought of was Hawaii's coral reef. Everone thinks it's so special. While I don't know anything about this stuff, to me it looks a lot like a big rock with a bunch of junk growing on it. What does this have to do with the inside of my mouth? Exactly! My tongue basically reminds me of snorkeling on the West shore. It's like a big rock with a bunch of crap growing on it. Colorful, exotic and covered in organisms that a liberal arts student will never truly appreciate.

I have two more days of "work" left here. I have to pick up my visa soon and then I am ready to jet. Or No va in my case. Boy am I clever. Ah, again, my humor is lost on the ignorant. I would update everyone with some type of relavant Mark news but as you all know, my life is pretty boring. Seriously though, when in Japan I will try and dress it up to make it sound like I am doing something cool. Maybe I will even let my friends and family know that I am doing this.

CNN, previous blogs

After rereading some of my previous entries I noticed several grammatical and spelling errors. Rather than correct them I will simply explain myself. I do not proofread my blogs before publishing them. It is not because I am lazy or because I am stupid. It is because I want readers of my blog to experience journalism at its finest. I feel that "editing" my reports will subtract from their authenticity. Sure, the reporter covering the hurricane surrounding him may feel that his hair is messed up or that the intense winds may be making his voice sound muffled - but he does his job like he is supposed to. Sometimes in the heat of the moment I may forget a period, use there when I mean their, or spell my name Makr. But I want the reader to see my reports in their raw form. The audience should be able to understand what exactly I am witnessing or thinking based on my reports. I could edit it all to make it seem more presentable, but that's just not what good commentary is all about.

So sticking with my CNN commentary (two in a row now!), I have to say something about this whole Michael Jackson thing. First, Mr. Jackson has been in the news for the whole child molestation thing as long as I can remember. It's always on every "news" channel, society can not get away from it. Everyone and their pet knows that Michael has been accused of doing all sorts of things. With that said, how come the only news that the stations cover about the parents is how they may be making up these accusations for financial reasons. After my "news blog" catapults me into mainstream reporting I have a few questions for these parents. The question is not "are you doing this to make money?" It is, why are you allowing your kids to have sleepovers at Jackson's house? Does Jackson just call up and say "hey can Johhny come over and spend the night?" And you knowing that he is an adult say "sure, why not?" I can't wait until CNN hires me so I can be the first to ask the parents this question. I will also use my new position to help CNN with their website. They really need to stop putting big pictures of his face on their main page. Not to sound mean or anything, but lets be honest, it's scary. OK, I know that does sound mean and I almost feel kind of bad now. So Michael, if you're reading this, I apologize. And when CNN talks to you next time can you recommend me as a journalist? I promise I won't put you on the spot.

Chess - the truth comes out

"Washington has sought Fischer, who became world chess champion in his 1972 match in Iceland against Boris Spassky of the Soviet Union, on charges of violating international sanctions against the former Yugoslavia by playing chess there in 1992." - CNN

This may sound odd to some. I mean wanting to arrest someone for playing chess?! Many people think of chess as one of the great thinking games, full of strategy and wit. To those people, this story must sound absurd. They probably assume that it must be because their was gambling involved or maybe Fischer wanted to throw the match or something. But to those of us who know the truth about chess, we can completely understand these charges and we are assured that they are warranted. The game of chess, performed at its highest level, is not a thinking game at all. In fact, it is more like child pornography coupled with intensive drug smuggling. One can only speculate why Mr. Fischer was playing chess in Yugoslavia anyway. The similarities between chess, the drug trade, and child pornography are too numerous to go into here. But anyone who gives it a little thought will figure it out. Only by educating ourselves will we be able to understand why the U.S. can make an international chess superstar into a villain. But with this story resurfacing in the news, it is time for our culture to make a decision. It needs to come to an educated conclusion of what the effects of chess can be. Not only on the individual, but on their families and their communities. The U.S. has taken steps (maybe not the right ones) to curb drugs and child pornography. But what about chess? Are citizens of the U.S. just going to stand around and watch as chess runs rampant through elementary and high schools? Have you ever visited a rehab clinic for chess players? Have you ever thought about volunteering at one? Don't feel bad - they don't exist. Chess players are left to fend for themselves in an environment that just does not understand. So next time you see a chess player, or even a recovering chess player, let them know that you care. Maybe you haven't been through what they have, but you at least understand. Call your politicians. Boycott stores that sell chess paraphernalia. Set up a time and place where people of your community can burn their chessboards and pieces in a public display of resistance. And do not send your children to schools that have "chess clubs." Strength needs numbers. To end this problem, individuals must take initiative. Chess is not a victimless crime. Were people playing chess 1000 years ago? I don't know. But I do know that a lot more of them are playing now. The chess epidemic must stop. But it will not stop on its own. Our government can come down hard on chess players. But until the problem of chess itself is stopped, it will not go away. Taxpayers can not afford to pay for every chess player to be put in jail - and I do not believe execution fits this crime. Only by educating those on the dangers of chess can this disease be stopped.

Tennis anyone?

Today I played tennis with a fourth grader. He wasn't too great - but hey - neither am I. It was actually his first time playing tennis ever. He had a little trouble getting the racket to make contact with the ball - but after awhile he got it. I asked him if he had any brothers or sisters and he said "no, I don't have any, I don't have any friends at all. That's why I come here." And then he cracked up laughing. The odd thing is I think he was serious. I am not sure if that's funny or sad. Now that I think of it, I was only playing tennis against a fourth grader because I don't have any friends. Is that funny or sad? Sad.

And my now second favorite tennis quote. "Yes...piano." - Ederick answering the question "do you play any other sports?"

I need to get my taxes done.