Who's afraid of foreigners?

Yesterday I taught one of his kids - today I had him. Trying to kill time, I asked him how his son was doing and told him that I was the kid's teacher yesterday. The boy couldn't really do anything except say "eeemmm, eeemmm," but I didn't tell pops. I think he already knew what his son could say. He then told me the real reason that his children were taking English lessons. Not to learn English - but to get used to foreigners. He said that he didn't see his first foreigner until he was well into his double digits, and when he did...yikes!
"What scared you about foreigners?"
"Well...blond hair, blue eyes, tall....muscular...chest hair."

The best part was he seemed so serious when he was telling me this.

I teach English to Japanese people

In this lesson, the lady was supposed to learn how to reply politely to someone who is telling you a tall tale or something like that. Things like - are you sure, that couldn't have happened, yeah, whatever etc. So I started off the lesson by telling her the story of the stretchy guy who breaks into houses by sliding through the chimney, toilet or vents. He then kills them and eats their liver. He needs the livers to sustain him for his thirty year hibernation. And when that ends, everything will start all over again. One of the classic X-files episodes from season one. Ideally, after about three sentences, the lady would say "yeah, sure, and bees might fly out of my butt." But she insisted on listening to the whole thing without speaking. And then when I was finished she looked shocked. I am not sure if it was because she couldn't believe what her instructor just told her, or if it was because she was scared for her life. Anyway, it was funny.

Yesterday, after getting tired of the kids I was teaching, I changed the language from something like "I am hungry" to "I am hopeless." It's amusing how I can just say that sentence a few times and they will all repeat it over and over again as they parade around the room with big smiles on their faces.

Blue Steel vs Magnum

http://themagnumgroup.net/

The Magnum Group

They offer CAD services. They're from India and they're "mad as hell." Rather than depend on commercials or good old fashioned word of mouth, they are getting their name out there by dropping spam in the comment section of my blog. Well Mr Lakshman Balaraman, I've got news for you. Advertising on my page won't do you any good. I don't know how they do it in India, but in (insert country here) they pay for advertising. And seriously. Do you know what kind of people read my blog? The kind that will pay for your services with counterfeit money and stolen checks. OK, seriously, you're trying to advertise on a page that is read by 4 different people - once a month -and they are from Pakistan.

By the way. I want to visit India someday. Want to meet up somewhere? Your English seems pretty good and someone to show me around would be great. I can't help you with any CAD stuff but I can give you some great PR tips - free of charge. You can even take my picture (neck up only) and use it on your webpage and billboards (trust me I'm hot).

Finally

Pulled off my first twister today - from the bottom. It's a spine lock that I have been sporadically trying to do for a few months now. I just wish it was legal.
Yes!

U of MN journalism at its finest

I didn't read the article. But the headline says it all: Report finds bar air cleaner since ban. Does the study conclude that a closed room with a bunch of people smoking in it will have air that is dirtier than that of a room without smokers? I don't know. Why don't you read it and find out.

Does smoking actually clean up the air? Is it good for your lungs? I don't know. Like I said, I didn't read the article.

Kung Fu, babes and cages. Japan - where it's all at.

Events from a couple days ago.

My boy Nobuki. He is really low level and tries really hard. He reminds me of..from HS Dan Olson...from UMD M Hill...from the U...No one, sorry, I hung out with normal people. Anyway, he whipped out his comic books. I was thinking - oh man, 40 min of him telling me about some J Kung Fu story. Anyway, at some point he either thought I asked "do you know Kung Fu?" or he asked if I wanted a demonstration while I was carelessly nodding my head up and down like I knew what he was talking about. Either way, out of nowhere, he got up, checked the door to make sure no one was looking, and then went into Kung Fu mode. He was doing all these crazy chops, grunts, stomps etc. It was great. I wish I had a picture. I was trying not to laugh because he was so serious about it. But I couldn't help it.

A different lesson, same day.
Again, doing the doc/patient lesson.
Ending the class with "so, have you ever been to the hospital?"

"yes, when I was six" He then went on to demonstrate how he broke his arm in the escalator. Apparently he just refused to let go and his arm went back around with the railing. I am still not exactly sure - I want a pic. I asked him what his mom said: "you're a bad boy!" I am not sure if he was wondering why I was laughing so much at his "I broke my arm" story. I hope not.

And finally, getting a fortysomething year old guy to tell me about his first love. He was in 3rd grade at the time. "She was 9."
What did he like about her? "She was beautiful."

All in a day's work.

Yesterday's quote, from the "let's buy a pet" lesson. "We have to keep someone in a cage." :)

Resumes

I remember when I was trying to type up a good resume. I was looking at all these online examples and they were all so stupid. I just stumbled across some real resumes on a work wanted type site If someone has "experience with Word," does that make them more qualified for anything? Isn't that a given? Aren't resumes usually created with Word?

Maybe the real key to getting a good job is letting your employer know that you can read. People never put this on their resume. The HR dept won't assume anything (especially if you're from the UofM). Who wants to hire people that can't read? Haha. (Insert joke about Kate's job here).... ok ok, mine too.

Another day....another day

Today I was trying to get a guy to understand the phrase: you/you've lost me. He understood it. But what he couldn't understand was why no one ever says "I lost me." You lost me/I lost me. Now I am confused as to why nobody ever says it. Yay, I just lost me!