Riding Hawaiian style on my new hog

So I decided to take my new motorcycle to jiu jitsu. Next to the spot I was going is a strip club. Since I didn't really feel like getting beat up, I decided to go there instead of jiu jitsu. Why I thought I could just drive right into the club on my bike I have no idea, but it worked. To my suprise, inside the club there were a bunch of guys - all riding motorcycles. I guess around noon the clubs aren't as busy. They asked me if I wanted to race - and I agreed. They kept giving my bike all these compliments (apparently it's pretty cool) and they kept asking me all these questions about it. But since I don't know anything about bikes I didn't know what to say. So we all lined up at the starting line. It was sort of a ball room type place and the races were going on inside. I started off in first and thought I would win. But my bike got passed by 3 others and I finished 4th out of about 20. Racing with a motorcycle gang inside of a strip club isn't really my idea of fun so I decided I had had enough and left. Traffic was slow and that was a good thing. I hadn't yet learned how to take my bike out of first gear and that probably explains why I took 4th instead of 1st. I was trying to figure it out by pulling every lever I could find. There was nothing as far as pedals so I assumed that it would be somewhere on the handlebars. I managed to somehow shut off all the stuff on the "dashboard" so I couldn't tell how fast I was even going. One of the other bikers caught up to me and let me know that I was driving on the wrong side of the lane. He said that some bikers bike on that side, but it's only because they are used to driving side by side with someone. Then he told me that if "that bear in the car overthere were on a motorcycle next to you, then you would bike on that side." At the time it didn't even strike me as odd that there was a grizzly bear sitting in the passenger seat of the car next to me (or that it was wearing a hat), but his illustration made a lot of sense.

Then I woke up.

Related to this story, two days ago, my mother told me that when I was a kid I wasn't allowed to eat pumpkin pie. Apparently it made me "crazy" and I wouldn't settle down for hours. Yes, I ate pumpkin pie before I went to bed.