Before you start, I already know what you're thinking. We've lost Mark, oh no!!!" But stop, don't worry. So I have 20 dress shirts now and I had 10 regular shirts in four years of high school. Big deal. So two of my dress shirts are pink. Whoopdiddydoda. I am still the same old Mark, except I dress like an idiot. As soon as I get out of the corporate world it's straight back to t-shirts with holes, yellow pits and paint stains. But I haven't changed completely.
Despite my ridiculous wardrobe, I still manage to maintain some typical Mark traits. I do not wash my clothes. My clothes rack is by a permanently open window, so I figure with as many dress shirts as I have, I will just get into a rotation and by the time a shirt gets its second chance it will be clean again. Also, I had difficulty with my belt. All the belts were for little people and they had one huge one, so I got that. I had to punch my own hole in it, I was a little off but it still works. The only problem is it's a little loose and it tends to shift to the side throughout the day. It doesn't actually hold up my pants, it's just for looks I guess.
And finally, I have been here over a month, wearing a tie everyday, and do I know how to tie one? No. I have a diagram bookmarked on my internet, I am 0-1 trying to tie one. I think I’ll just be pulling them over my head for the rest of the year.
3 comments:
Ties are a pain in the butt, I do not suggest leaving them tied though, it will ruin them.
As far as your theory on the shirts cleaning themselves goes, I think it you were to just wash and iron them all once a month you would be golden.
Later
Josh
Your post is the world's greatest proof of reincarnation; no one could get that dumb in just one lifetime. Your post is an orgy of stultifying cacophonous verbal depravity; an exercise in literary impotence, and an offense to all of good taste and decency.
You read like a gimpzoid teenager splashing spit onto the monitor. Don’t you ever have a point beyond giving your fingers some exercise by dancing them randomly over the keyboard? You must have a very large brain to hold such a vast amount of sheer ignorance. Oh well, at least you only charge what your free advice is worth. As Ellen Glasgow once remarked: "He knows so little and knows it so fluently."
You are about as entertaining as a child's inflatable punching toy. You bop it, it springs back, you bop it again and you forget it ever existed. It slowly deflates in an unused corner, then one day you throw it away. You are like watching Amputee Field Hockey: pathetic, and very quickly disgusting. Maybe you wouldn't be such a Jerk-In-The-Box if you weren't living proof that stupid people should not breed; if the chief excitement in your meaningless life wasn't spotting people who are fatter than you are, or if you didn't have a face that could be used as an alternative to a stomach pump. No, come to think of it, you would.
In conclusion, as your clue meter is reading zero, lets see if this registers: Get lost, creep!
For about the first sentence of the last message I really felt honored that I would disgust someone so much that they would write up such a creative post. Then after reading about "Amputee Field Hockey" I decided I had to see when Osaka's next game was. To my suprise, the only thing Google told me was that this exact post has been left all over the internet. How lame is that? What did it say about "literary impotence?" Oh well, anyone with parents cruel enough to name their kid Anonymous is expected to have some problems. So no need to explain. If they knew the real me I'm sure we would be good friends.
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