I care about people I don't know.

I roughed up a 14 year old kid today. In my defense, he was the same size as me and probably about the same strength (although I am much better looking). Actually, it was his fault and not mine. I had him in an arm lock and I was going very slow. I probably had him in it for ten seconds...slowly pulling it back. And I was carefully watching his other hand, waiting for the inevitable tap...it never happened. All the spectators started yelling "stop stop" (in English!). What is that age when males start to think that they are really tough? Well, to make a long story short he should be fine in two weeks.

This incident and my post-arm lock feelings have made me realize a lot about myself. For one, I think I am getting more mature. I feel really bad even though it was %100 his fault. That coupled with the fact that I have this voice in the back of my head nagging me to do the dishes. I don't need clean dishes, but the voice is there. Is that a sign of maturity? Insanity? I don't even have any plans to have company over or anything. It seems that my idea of logic just happens to be changing - only I can't justify it. It's like doing the dishes is almost becoming an instinct. I guess that's probably why this blog just keeps going on about nothing...I don't want to do the dishes, I just feel like I should.

On the positive side of things, I did realize today that I can pretty much handle the toughest 14 year olds around. And I'll be honest, it was a pretty sweet armlock.

If you want to do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in Osaka, it's in Teradacho.

Kyoto

Panda Heaven
Originally uploaded by terw0015.

Went to Kyoto with my buddy Mike and our J tour guide whose name is....chi? I'm bad with names. I was planning on seeing two different sites, unfortunately the first site was so cool that we never made it to the second. Kyoto is now my new favorite near place. I think it replaced nothing. But, there does seem to be a ton of cool stuff to do there and I will def. be heading back there sometime. The bamboo was actually towards the bottom of the cool things list...my $50 fisheye lens actually kicked out some cool pictues. Cool things to see in Arashiyama (my one stop in Kyoto) - kids, fall leaves, the bridge, the river, bamboo and boats. Things to avoid - restaurants, going on holidays and squid cooks.

Work is funny...sometimes

Well,I am not sure if funny stuff is always happening and I'm just in the "mark zone" so I don't notice it... or, the past few days have been full of strange quotes etc. These are from the last two days. I swear sometimes I go weeks without my students saying anything funny.

This one was just on a shirt: sloppiness will be the causes of the increase in the juvenile crime.

I actually spent the whole lesson pondering it. Then I was doing the "interesting experiences" lesson. So I asked them, "what's the most interesting experience you've ever had?"

#1 "I went scuba diving in Guam, it was fun." (very normal answer!)
#2 "I touched a fox.....in Chicago." (I thought I misheard him, but he repeated it for me).
#3 "No interesting experiences....ehhhh...but I have a four leaf clover." (he then took it out of his pocket and showed me).

I am not sure if others would even find these funny, but I was just cracking up. And...
"I heard about someone who can extinguish fires with their stomach gas." And we weren't even talking about fires, gas, stomachs or anything of the sort...very random and almost a little disturbing.



In not so funny Mark news, after going crazy I put in a transfer request - only to hear back that "they need me there." But today after telling everyone how nuts I've gone others broke down and told me that they've put in transfer requests too. I guess it's not normal to just tell everyone you work with that your surroundings are driving you bonkers...but i did.

This blog is not interesting

But I'll blog anyway. I put in a transfer request today. Time for a new school. I was on a roll too. Almost eight months, that's the longest I've ever worked at one place in my entire life. I think I was at about six months in a warehouse once. I don' t know what it is, but I don't really seem capable of working. I can work for a few months and then I just wanna quit. I think it's from teachers/parents telling me that I could have some awesome job when I grew up. They forgot to tell me that I would need to start working at it when I was 15. Actually, I think I pretty much could do any job that I really wanted to, the problem is figuring out what that is. All I know is in the last couple of days I've gotten really sick of work. It's easy, pays ok, but still, its just old. "I'm sooo over it." That's what everyone says here about stuff they are sick of. I'm not sure if that's some popular saying that I just missed or maybe it just caught on at my school. I've actually been really busy lately.

Oh yeah, I bought a plane ticket to Hawaii today. Most people probably wouldn't complain about going to Hawaii for two weeks in January...well I'm not really either, I just hate spending money that I earn.

I've gained eight pounds since I got here. Nooooo!!!! Well December is diet month. I think I can lose ten pounds in a month.

Also, I had to wear dirty socks to work the last two days. I get home after ten 5 days a week and my washing machine is outside so I can't do laundry (cause I'm so neighborly).

And can anyone tell me - are pickles healthy? I've always just kinda assumed that greens were healthy. But pickles? How about olives? Those things can't be healthy, they're so good. I can't imagine some mother saying "now Johny, don' forget to eat your pickles and olives."

And a lack of which food group/vitamin etc. results in bad dandruff (a friend wants to know)?

costco by train

for the zillions of lost souls who are looking for costco in the kansai region, you need to find the amagasaki station. How do I find that? How much does it cost? That information is here: http://grace.hyperdia.com/cgi-english/hyperd01.cgi

I don't know if there is only one in kansai. But if you live in Osaka it is the place to go. Once you get to the Amagasaki station, there is a bus that comes around every hour on the hour(i think). The bus is free and its a short bus! Maybe its best to ask the driver, I don't want to send you off on the wrong bus. If your new to Japan and unsure of how to ask or you don't speak Japanese just look confused, point at the bus and say "costco?" Easy. Well anyway, once your at the amagasaki station you can figure it out for yourself. Then when your leaving, catch the same bus. It just goes in a loop and I believe the only stops are at the station and at costco (costco is near a big shopping complex).

Costco here has basically the same stuff as it does in the states. same pizza and hot dogs. same choco muffins and croissants. NO BURRITOS. They do deliver for Y500 a box...again don't quote me on that. Well good luck in your journey. If you are a guy who will be travelling by train and eats a lot of food, I suggest a camping backpack. Carrying boxes sucks. Also, you need the membership card but i am sure you already knew that. one last thing. if you have one of those "japanese fridges" make sure you don't buy too much stufffor it.

a blog some might find gross

the cool thing about teaching 10 yr olds is that no matter how much i fart in class, they never suspect it's me. it's like adults don't fart or something. they always blame the fat kid. and he always denies it. so i just fart on.

Kate W. Youre so cool. we will hang out again someday.

Fashion Police, JR officer

Every season has its own fashion. And every season we have loads of magazines that tell us what we should wear to be in style (usually aimed at girls). Usually we get some top ten lists, some dos and donts. But let's be honest, that stuff never applies to any of us. Most of us don't care if a Gucci bag clashes with Prada jeans. Can you wear a coat made out of polar bear fur to an office party? Or should you go with the albino fox fur. Who cares. Why people (ok girls) buy these magazines I don't know. Whoever puts out these surveys neglects Joe Schmo. I see so many crazy things in Japan and some just weird me out.

Ok, first, yes Japan is a completely different country. Thus some rule breaking is ok. For example, a guy can dye his hair golden brown, style it like Bon Jovi. He can then find the tightest pants around and complete the outfit with some pointed boots. He is now ready to pick up chicks. These chicks are most likely sporting eyelashes about a half inch long. They are wearing lots of layers. Possibly really short cut-off jeans over black sweatpants. To go along with that, they are wearing thick cotton socks, the horizontal stripes are pink and black. High heels go good with this outfit. These two outfits are perfectly acceptable. However, they are not universally acceptable.


Keep in mind that you are getting your fashion "do's" from a guy who has no sense of fashion whatsoever. Most of the clothes I wear would be refused by secondhand stores. But I do not, at least I don't think, break any of the rules on "the universal don't wear clothing list for men...created by Mark and his blog friends."

So, how do you know if it's a universal rule? Well, basically anytime a guy like me is offended by your clothing it is universally unacceptable - thus a rule. So, so far there are only two rules that I know of. I imagine there really are around ten, I just haven't been exposed to the offense. So....

1. Under no circumstances should you ever tuck your tshirt into your sweatpants. I am not sure why this offends me, it just does. The level of offense is increased the further up your pants are. So for every inch your pants are raised past the normal level you will spend an extra year in fashion jail. If your shirt is tucked in and your sweatpants are raised past your belly button you will serve a life term.

2. White cotton socks with a nice black suit. Of course you are only breaking the rule if one can actually see your socks - otherwise it's ok. Also, if the suit is not "nice," then you are off the hook and can even pull your socks up over your pants.

Feel free to add any fashion comments in the comments section. My monthly fashion magazine will be coming out soon. It will just be a lot of pictures of people dressed in funny clothes. I will be on the cover.

Mark news.

I got an email today from an old friend and it made me happy.
I will be working OT again this weekend.
I washed my work shirts yesterday. I don't do that very often.
I have a cold. It's the first time I've had one in years - at least one worthy of coughdrops and orange juice. It's blogworthy.
So for those that care, here is what life is sometimes like for Mark:

3 days of my week are like this: I wake up at 8:30 and catch the 9:04 train. It takes me ten minutes to get to the station and I eat breakfast! Crazy. Work starts at 10 and ends at 5:40. I listen to my Ipod for the train trip and sometimes when my coworkers are talking too loud...even though I do like them. After work on these three days I go to BJJ. Usually I stay there until about 9:15. At 9:30 they end, they all get in a circle, say things in Japanese, and take turns bowing. I leave early just to avoid being THAT GUY. I get home at about 10. Then I usually eat dinner...ideally something that I cook that night. Then the next morning I take it to work. Jiu Jitsu is honestly the first hobby I've ever had...well climbing was almost a hobby.

Anyway, those are three days of my week. The other four will come in Chapter 2. Maybe 2 and 3. Well, we know I will probably forget to finish this "blog series" and you will all die extremely curious as to what I do with four days of my week. Well, I actually have a lot of things that I mean to do. I have them sitting out, visual reminders that I should be doing them. But like I said, I have difficulty doing things sometimes.

Anyway, I am glad that I have friends who, every now and then, remind me that my life should have some direction. And I believe it does. I am in that stage where I think I am pointed in the right direction, I just haven't moved. I think I have been in that stage for too long. Honestly, I am getting sick of it. I promise that someday the "Mark's daily life blog series" will be something worth reading. Until then, you're just going to have to deal with a bunch of nonsense.

I finally got some ass from the neighbor

ass
Originally uploaded by terw0015.

Ikoma is a strange city. From what I understand, there are 30,000 people that live here. And from what I have experienced, after midnight, there is no place to get any painkillers at all. Yesterday I had this terrible headache. I tried to go to sleep at like 9pm. By midnight I was going crazy and decided I needed some meds. I started walking around the city. First to ampm, the local convenience store. Five different types of contact solution...nothing for a headache. Wandering around the city for awhile I ran into a 7-11. Again, lots of contact solution, but no meds. I don't understand it...not only the lack of things to treat a headache but what's the deal with the contact solution? Anyway, I paid a visit to my nice neighbor Valerie from Mauritius. She wasn't sure if she had anything, but she dug threw her first aid kit that she got in Germany and...well, she was pretty sure that these pills she had were for a headache. I don't know why she thought that. It was just white pills and on the back of the packaging it said ASS. That's it. Well, you know you have a bad headache when you are willing to take random pills labled ASS. Anyway, I think they worked. So, to all of you who expected some raunchy story about my late night encounter with the neighbor...I'm sorry. And Valerie, for being in my blog under such circumstances...I'm sorry...and thanks for the ASS (I have bufferin now if you ever need it).

My name is Mark, can I stay at your place for a few days?

I am going to spend a week in Tokyo this December. I am looking forward to everything except the part about it being "the most expensive city in the world." I guess coming from the "second most expensive city in the world," it shouldn't be that big of a deal. But of course, we are talking about the "cheapest guy in the world."

So far, on the internet $60 a night for a hotel is the average cheap price. So I could do that....or....

try to get random people from myspace.com to let me stay with them. I will let you know how it goes.

I remember road trippin in the early college days and being bummed out that we had to pay $30 for a hotel room - and that was before splitting it between five people.

And I did pushups yesterday. First in 7 months.

wanna make out?
Originally uploaded by terw0015.

I ironed my bed. I put my mattress outside. I slept in pants, socks and a long sleeve shirt. I changed my soap. And believe it or not, I went to the doctor!! About 20 pills ago, my entire body was covered by these. Hands? No, red bubbly sores. The worst part wasn't being so ugly, I'm used to that, it was the itching. The mosquito in the previous blog was able to fill itself to the MAX without me even noticing. Why? Because my entire body felt like it was being attacked by mosquitoes at all times. I hope the pic turns out. Its a cellphone one. I think in a few days I will write a blog about what I have actually been up to - in case anyone cares. Later

mozzy

mozzy
Originally uploaded by terw0015.

Well enough with the stupid story. I don't have the energy. But a warning to all mosquitoes: I like my blood, if you take it, I will kill you. First I will electrocute you. Then, I will photograph your stunned self. Then, after taking a Qtip and reclaiming my blood, I will take another picture. If you happen to be an extraordinarily large mozzy, I will put it on my blog.

An Introduction to Torture

The thing that sucks about blogging is you never really tell everything about your life. Not that you should or anything. But sometimes when you want to blog about one simple little thing, you realize that you will also have to incorporate three or four other entirely new events just so it will make sense. So that is what I will be doing here in a 2-5 part series I will call "torture." Of course, sometimes I say I am going to do something, I take one step, and then I stop. So maybe I will forget to finish and it won't make any sense. And for those that read my blog once a month or who stumble upon it by some cyberspace mishap, they will have to read it in reverse order. As far as I know, there is no way to change the settings so the first part is always shown first. Of course I could write it all in one blog. Or I could write it backwards. But really, one chapter at a time is hard enough for me. Actually, now that I think of it, it's going to be one of those that you can start at any point and just read all the way around again. Like a circle, it has no direction. Are there really books like this? That just loop around? Well if there aren't, there will be soon. So stay tuned.

Shopping at Costco

This blog is one of those advice blogs. Not one where you (worried in MN) write me with your problems and I give you advice - but one where I write about my problems and others give me advice. But I just want you to know that this isn't a sympathy blog. I don't expect you to feel sorry for me because of my huge problems. You don't need to get me a card or anything. I am just looking for advice. And besides, most likely you suffer from the same problems. Be assured, there are many of us out there. Or maybe you don't even know about it. Better to find out now and take care of it than to let it compound, like I have. This problem is one that I have been suffering from for about 6 years or so. I don't remember the first time it happened. And although I have always been aware of it, until now I have never thought about searching for a solution.

I think it is a problem that affects many college age students as well as recent graduates. When I go grocery shopping, I follow a simple shopping pattern and, over the years, it has become a habit. I walk up and down every single food aisle in the store. I look at every different product. If something looks good I buy it. The problem isn't with the food, it's with other shoppers who do the same thing. So maybe I'm in Costco and there are 20 aisles for me to go through. I am going through each one. Back and forth, while some other person does the same thing. Except...they are going the opposite direction. This means that I have to pass them one time for every aisle. Big deal. But if there only happen to be a few people in the entire store then I am sure you can see how this is weird. I know what you're thinking. Just say "hi" and you have a new friend, yaaay! Well it doesn't always work like that. Sometimes you say "hi" and they just glare at you like you're retarded. And then the problem enters the second stage. You have to walk by them again in about 60 seconds and then again until you have both covered every aisle in the stupid store. Do you greet them again as a way to show that their badassness didn't faze you? That would of course be my advice to someone who has the same problem. But easier said than done. All I know is that fleeing the aisle ranks or reversing course is shopping treason for all I'm concerned. Do you stare at some product and pretend that you are adding up the carbs as they pass by again? And again? And again? And what about cuddly couples? They always appear to feel obligated to break their embrace and get back to shopping. And I always feel like I'm crashing someone's party. Oh, here's Mark again...

So other than the options I've already discussed, I can only think of one more really. And that's not saying anything at all. Of course, walking by someone 20 times in a store, making eye contact, and then looking away without saying anything also seems rude. So...avoid eye contact? That's how I lived for the first 19 years of my life and it sucked.

So, for those of you suffering from this same problem, please feel free to post your thoughts. You can remain anonymous if you wish.

Unless of course there is some universal walking direction that everyone already knows and I have been walking the wrong way all my life (that may explain a lot of things). If that's the case, I'll feel pretty stupid. It would explain the occasional odd looks I get. And my friends would be huge jerks.

Nothing to do with ESL

Well, I have been here for six months - the contract is half way over. Do I have any money? No. But my piggy bank (aka brain) has been filling up with other things such as... cultural knowledge! All of the things that I, at one point, found confusing about Japanese people/culture can be traced back to one thing.

Japanese men hate their wives.

Of course I don't mean to stereotype, but I believe this best explains some of the cultural oddities that I have encountered.

One of the things that baffled me early on was how people would just line up at the crosswalk and wait for the little green man to flash. I of course would just walk around them, look both ways and cross the street. Not only would I do this while the man was red, I would cross at a diagonal. I can't remember the last time I felt like such a rebel - probably while chewing gum in my 10th grade confirmation class. Anyway, my early theories on why they were not crossing the street:
a. respect for the law
b. a fear of being the first one to do it and having everyone else look on in shame
c. not wanting to look both ways but well aware of the consequences of not doing so

But after many conversations with different husbands and wives I am now convinced that Japanese men hate their wives. The sooner they cross the street, the sooner they get home. This, coupled with a few other cultural aspects creates J culture. While to many outsiders, J culture consists of geisha girls, temples and statues all competing for attention with robot dogs and bullet trains, J culture is completely different.

J culture consists mainly of work and shopping.

Men seem to work 70 hours a week - and they don't really like their jobs. Women seem to shop for 70 hours a week - spending the man's hard earned cash. Do the men care? No. Do they complain? As far as I know...no. Why do they do this? Well, because...Japanese men hate their wives.

The more they are at work - the more they are out of the house - making money to keep their wives out of the house. Where I am from, this would never work. The working man would not give his wife any money. Thus he wouldn't be forced to work 80 hours a week. The woman would have to get a job. Then for whatever reason they would get divorced. But in Japan they don't seem to split up quite so often. It's not as cool I guess. The stress then builds until the man can no longer take it and is forced to seek refuge the only acceptable way - avoidance. This also explains things such as karaoke and pachinko - numbers 3 and 4 on the J culture list. I will save those for another blog. So, what this all boils down to is - next time you see someone waiting for the "walk" sign to signal them across an empty street - go up and say "hi." Help them out, they hate their life. Unless of course they are 5, then it's because they have poor depth perception, short legs, and cars can't see them.

Who's afraid of foreigners?

Yesterday I taught one of his kids - today I had him. Trying to kill time, I asked him how his son was doing and told him that I was the kid's teacher yesterday. The boy couldn't really do anything except say "eeemmm, eeemmm," but I didn't tell pops. I think he already knew what his son could say. He then told me the real reason that his children were taking English lessons. Not to learn English - but to get used to foreigners. He said that he didn't see his first foreigner until he was well into his double digits, and when he did...yikes!
"What scared you about foreigners?"
"Well...blond hair, blue eyes, tall....muscular...chest hair."

The best part was he seemed so serious when he was telling me this.

I teach English to Japanese people

In this lesson, the lady was supposed to learn how to reply politely to someone who is telling you a tall tale or something like that. Things like - are you sure, that couldn't have happened, yeah, whatever etc. So I started off the lesson by telling her the story of the stretchy guy who breaks into houses by sliding through the chimney, toilet or vents. He then kills them and eats their liver. He needs the livers to sustain him for his thirty year hibernation. And when that ends, everything will start all over again. One of the classic X-files episodes from season one. Ideally, after about three sentences, the lady would say "yeah, sure, and bees might fly out of my butt." But she insisted on listening to the whole thing without speaking. And then when I was finished she looked shocked. I am not sure if it was because she couldn't believe what her instructor just told her, or if it was because she was scared for her life. Anyway, it was funny.

Yesterday, after getting tired of the kids I was teaching, I changed the language from something like "I am hungry" to "I am hopeless." It's amusing how I can just say that sentence a few times and they will all repeat it over and over again as they parade around the room with big smiles on their faces.

Blue Steel vs Magnum

http://themagnumgroup.net/

The Magnum Group

They offer CAD services. They're from India and they're "mad as hell." Rather than depend on commercials or good old fashioned word of mouth, they are getting their name out there by dropping spam in the comment section of my blog. Well Mr Lakshman Balaraman, I've got news for you. Advertising on my page won't do you any good. I don't know how they do it in India, but in (insert country here) they pay for advertising. And seriously. Do you know what kind of people read my blog? The kind that will pay for your services with counterfeit money and stolen checks. OK, seriously, you're trying to advertise on a page that is read by 4 different people - once a month -and they are from Pakistan.

By the way. I want to visit India someday. Want to meet up somewhere? Your English seems pretty good and someone to show me around would be great. I can't help you with any CAD stuff but I can give you some great PR tips - free of charge. You can even take my picture (neck up only) and use it on your webpage and billboards (trust me I'm hot).

Finally

Pulled off my first twister today - from the bottom. It's a spine lock that I have been sporadically trying to do for a few months now. I just wish it was legal.
Yes!