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Well, it has been a few weeks since I last updated my "blog." This is because I have been so busy doing nothing that I haven't even had time to do it. Even now my brain is telling me that I should be doing nothing - and doing it hardcore. Yet here I sit - blogging. The only interesting thing that has happened to me lately is I obtained six small punctures on the inside of my lips. For a few days they were just fine, they have since turned into cold sores that are not the most comfortable things. They were from my buddy Brian (I think that's his name). He was trying to choke me but instead of getting under my chin, he got his forearm in my mouth. So the punctures are all from my lips applying a little too much pressure on my teeth. I also have gi burn on the outside of my upperlip. I didn't notice this until I finally shaved - it doesn't hurt. So after four months of jiu jitsu, the closest thing I have had to an injury is six cold sores. And even they aren't that bad. In other news, I am now on my new used laptop that I bought off Ebay. So far it works. I suck at this fingerpad thing though. I am anxious to go to Japan. So far I can say about two word in Japanese. Hopefully after a year my count will be up to about ten.

Riding Hawaiian style on my new hog

So I decided to take my new motorcycle to jiu jitsu. Next to the spot I was going is a strip club. Since I didn't really feel like getting beat up, I decided to go there instead of jiu jitsu. Why I thought I could just drive right into the club on my bike I have no idea, but it worked. To my suprise, inside the club there were a bunch of guys - all riding motorcycles. I guess around noon the clubs aren't as busy. They asked me if I wanted to race - and I agreed. They kept giving my bike all these compliments (apparently it's pretty cool) and they kept asking me all these questions about it. But since I don't know anything about bikes I didn't know what to say. So we all lined up at the starting line. It was sort of a ball room type place and the races were going on inside. I started off in first and thought I would win. But my bike got passed by 3 others and I finished 4th out of about 20. Racing with a motorcycle gang inside of a strip club isn't really my idea of fun so I decided I had had enough and left. Traffic was slow and that was a good thing. I hadn't yet learned how to take my bike out of first gear and that probably explains why I took 4th instead of 1st. I was trying to figure it out by pulling every lever I could find. There was nothing as far as pedals so I assumed that it would be somewhere on the handlebars. I managed to somehow shut off all the stuff on the "dashboard" so I couldn't tell how fast I was even going. One of the other bikers caught up to me and let me know that I was driving on the wrong side of the lane. He said that some bikers bike on that side, but it's only because they are used to driving side by side with someone. Then he told me that if "that bear in the car overthere were on a motorcycle next to you, then you would bike on that side." At the time it didn't even strike me as odd that there was a grizzly bear sitting in the passenger seat of the car next to me (or that it was wearing a hat), but his illustration made a lot of sense.

Then I woke up.

Related to this story, two days ago, my mother told me that when I was a kid I wasn't allowed to eat pumpkin pie. Apparently it made me "crazy" and I wouldn't settle down for hours. Yes, I ate pumpkin pie before I went to bed.

Junk Email and Old People

Junk email used to make so much sense. You have a stupid product or a scam that you want to sell so you email it out to a thousand people and maybe one idiot will make it all worth your time. Now I can't figure it out though. Sometimes I open my junk email just for the heck of it. Usually it is something in the title like "hi" or something stupid to just get you to try and open it. Back in the day they used to always have titles like "I had a great night with you the other night." I guess that didn't work as well. So the point of this rant is: why do I get so much junk email that has nothing in the body? Or when it does its something like "adsddd.cod" Are they now doing it for the sole purpose of annoying people?

Well, in related news, the AARP is still trying to get me to join. I am not sure how they found out my new address so fast. Old people are networked very well I guess. I wonder if they have big parties. Do you have to be old to join or just retired? What is the exact difference between unemployed and retired? Is it possible to be fired when you're in your 60's and then just retire from no job? Maybe I should sign up for the AARP. So if any of you have grandma's coming up to you talking about this nice boy they want to introduce you to.......

A $30 steak

I went out to eat with my aunt, uncle and parents. It was at a fancy resturant somewhere in Hawaii, I don't even know where. The lights were dim, everyone was dressed up, and the food was expensive. I felt akward, like I did in high school, but for different reasons. I think for my own well-being I should, in the future, stay away from any "high class" environment. By high class I basically mean any place where people are dressed up and would think it was strange if I wiped my hands on my pants instead of a napkin. The menu was full of local Hawaiian dishes that I had never heard of. Fortunately there was one for steak, so of course I ordered it. I was also lucky enough to have 3 knives. Two were identical and the other was a little sharper. The sharp one was obviously for the steak. I have no idea what the other ones were for. They did, however, remind me that a long time ago I promised myself I would learn how to juggle. While I have mastered the tennis balls, I have yet to attempt anything sharper. But the resturant was a nice reality check. I am a 23 year old male who still hasn't learned to juggle knives. The five years of my life that I invested in "higher learning" have yet to provide any financial benefits - and most likely never will. I am positive that if I had invested those five years in learning how to juggle I could be one of Hawaii's top street performers.

I had no clue how I wanted my steak so I asked the waitress to use her best judgement and choose for me. My steak was red. I am assuming it's because it takes the least amout of work. I was thinking that within the next 24 hours I would regret eating it - but so far I haven't. I did, however, have a very strange dream. I dreamt that I was living at my old house in Minneapolis. I opened the freezer to find chocolate mint ice cream. While it wasn't mine, I was nonetheless thrilled that I would be able to enjoy it without anyone knowing that I took it. Then I began a conversation with one of my female roomates. I was trying my best to flirt with her but she kept giving me the cold shoulder. I didn't remember the dream until later in the day - when I wanted ice cream. It is sad that I get shot down even in my dreams. Where did that expression "in your dreams" come from? Obviously not someone like me.