Mark Was Here

Dance Party

2011-09-05T08:51:00.001-05:00

Love and Cat

2011-04-15T01:21:00.001-05:00

The other night as I arrived home I noticed that under the porch light, among the usual numbers of moths, were two Praying Mantises. Normally I don’t make much of an audience for insects but this was different. I guess I subconsciously assumed that my chances of seeing a moth ferociously devoured by a creature equal in size were twice as likely. My math has never been very good.

After a minute or so it became apparent that the scary looking bugs were not interested in the moths. One was enthusiastically courting the other. I am embarrassed to say that this interested me even more – and not just because I am ultra-romantic or two weeks away from my wedding. I believe it was Ranger Rick who many years ago taught me that after it’s all said and done the female Praying Mantis rips off the male’s head and eats it or something. I don’t remember.

They were sort of fluttering around one another. The moths next to them seemed indifferent. And then one of the ugly green bugs lost his footing and fell to the ground. Before he had even the slightest chance to recover and properly fuel the gestation period of his potential offspring - Mafofa pounced. Game over.

Mafofa (pron: Mafooofa) means “feathers/fur” in Sotho. This ferocious little kitty was found alongside her brother Ben Kramer inside the dumpster at the fruit market. Weren’t we all?

I guess the moral of the story is that one man’s trash really is another man’s treasure…and never take relationship advice from a Praying Mantis.

This blog is not relevant to any of my normal readers.

2011-04-05T17:24:00.000-05:00

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Judo, no-gi grappling MMA etc. Is there anyone/anywhere/anything related to these sports in the Tzaneen area? Duiwelskloof? Limpopo? This post is actually just an attempt to link those sports and the city in one blog in hopes that one day some other poor soul Googles it. Email me if you know of anything or find a few friends and we can just start it up ourselves: terw0015 @ yahoo . com

Delete the spaces, duh.

Mark

Kgaugelo is eating the monkey!

2011-03-22T12:36:00.000-05:00

Here I am, sitting on a small mattress with pink Barbie princess sheets. I should note that it has a matching pillow case, which may be a first for me. There is also a cat staring at me as if he is baffled by my very existence. Don’t judge me cat.

In a few hours I will wander down the rocky sidewalk and into Sarah’s half-painted kitchen. If I play my cards right I will be greeted by half-eaten bowls of oatmeal and a floor covered in Corn Flake residue. If I am early I will be greeted by a bunch of 8-12 yr-olds that refer to me as dad, like hugs and lack a proper understanding of what one’s attitude should be like on a Monday morning.

This is my first blog as a father, thus I feel as if I should have something profound to say. Unfortunately I do not. (EDIT: take care of your kids). Instead I will try to give you a glimpse into what life is like for me.

There are a lot of us; twelve kids, two adults a few neighbors and a bunch of pets. We have kids from all sorts of varying circumstances; orphaned, neglected, the street etc.; kids who tell stories about how they used to spend their nights dangling from the roof while stuffed inside a potato sack and kids who may not truly believe that the guy who raped them was a bad guy. We have 12-year olds that wet the bed every night and a Great Dane that gets nervous around kittens. I guess it is only fitting that I will be part of the duo heading up this family. And yes, we do think of ourselves as a family, and no, I do not really know what I am doing.

Wake up, eat, school, homework, play, eat, bathe, story and sleep. That is our daily itinerary. It doesn’t really sound like something that inherently involves chaos, but it does. That will be a later message.

My main goal at the moment is just to continue to earn the trust of those around me. They all call me dad but I know that at this point it is more of a formality than a relationship. We grow closer every day. For some it is easy and for others it is not. For some of them the concept of “dad” is completely new and for others it may have connotations that we prefer not to think about. I will be working to change those - one day at a time. I've heard that people tend to view God as having the same characteristics that their father has. Gulp.

In order to work with orthotics or prosthetics (my degrees) I would need to get certified. I am hoping to hear back within a week or two on the next steps I would need to take (EDIT: I am either being aggressively ignored or they are on serious “African Time.” If that works out and one of the two places here is willing to sponsor my work visa then I will pursue that route as well. Despite spending the last four years in school for a specific career field, I am not too anxious about the thought that my paperwork is likely being used as a coaster somewhere. I already have a full-time job; it just doesn’t pay very well.

That’s all for now, you can expect a proper missionary update letter sometime soon. It will be a little more pious and maybe even have some bold-face-print or italics. I will try to get out a few blogs as well over the next few years.

The cat is now sleeping.
Love you guys,
Mark

New book/blog

2008-12-19T00:48:00.004-06:00

Well, I have plans for a great novel. One that could easily be translated into a blockbuster! It deals with all sorts of typical movie themes all lumped into one. It also begins the transition of my blog from pointless text floating through cyberspace into genius. Yes, my blog is now genius.

So here is the basic outline. I am kind of thinking of this idea at the moment, so we'll see.

It begins with a pack of werewolves in central MN. We'll say Long Prairie. And they are typical werewolves except the problem they face is that after they spend a night under the full moon killing and eating cattle, they turn back into humans and find themselves out in the middle of nowhere, naked, and it's 0 degrees outside. I mean who has never been there before? So we will have different stories from the lens of the werewolves who must find out how to stop dying, the populace which is terrified from all these cattle killings as well as frozen naked corpses found in the middle of fields etc. And of course you have the sheriff (think Tommy Lee Jones) trying to put all the pieces together before he retires in 6 months. Oh, and just for fun I guess we might as well have one of the main werewolves head over heels for the sheriff's daughter who is helping him on the case.

Pop quiz

2008-11-12T13:22:00.002-06:00

A Chicago guy. Graduated from Harvard. Very interested in politics. Half Kenyan, half white. Really liked by Mark. You guessed it. Tom Morello!

I was working yesterday, trying to find a way to kill time. We were listening to the radio and they said that TM would be at the Electric Fetus. My "client" didn't seem too interested in the idea and I didn't want to push it on him. But he eventually caved. TM would be playing a few songs and signing autographs for his show later that night. So we went and when we got our autographs TM says something like "hey, are you guys coming to the show?" We say no and then he asks us if we want to. We of course say yes and then he tells his right hand man or whoever to add us to the guest list. Then at the show we get a guy with a flashlight to escort us right up to the very front of the crowd. And I got paid the whole time...it was pretty cool

The thing I think makes him a really cool guitar player is not that he just rocks...which he does, but rather that I could listen to 5 seconds of any of his solos and immediately know who it is. Every rock band has a guitar player who launches into solos in every other song. But they all kind of sound the same. Maybe he just has a bad guitar or something and that is why it is so identifiable. I don't know. He also tears up the harmonica which I discovered last night.

Self Defense Videos

2008-10-07T00:02:00.003-05:00

There are a lot of them online. Some are really good. Some are really dumb. While I am not opposed to selling crap to suckers for their hard earned cash, I opposed to wearing a blackbelt and then telling poor little Harley how he can make a not so bad situation much worse for himself.

How to defend against a shirt grab

Yes Harley, when the bully grabs your shirt...just poke him in the belly with your fingers. I am sure he won't proceed to give you the beating of your life.

Dream Blog!

2008-08-22T00:11:00.002-05:00

I missed the bus because I was picking corn. But imagined the corn would be fun to draw during recess.

-dream journal from last night.

I seem to be a pretty laid back guy, even in my dreams. I missed the bus? So what! I have this cool ear of corn that I am going to draw during recess. How am I going to get to recess if I missed the bus? Who cares!?!?! I have corn and I am excited about it.

Yes Mark, you are care-free, in touch with the environment, artistic, always looking forward to things...and irresponsible when it comes to school and punctuality. I should analyze dreams.

Legalism blog

2008-05-21T23:01:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking I should start (or convert this blog) a blog solely dedicated to legalism. But then I decided one probably already exists and is much better than I could ever do. Here is an excerpt I stumbled upon. Of course I don't know the context of everything and it is just a short paragraph, but anyway, these things always kind of irritate me:

When Short -Termers Conduct is an Embarrassment! Listen!

"Some members of a short-term team visited a local disco hall seeking entertainment. They took alcohol in public—a scandal for the local community. In another case, two members of the short-term team were smoking—an embarrassment to local believers and the host pastor. The two were also seen with local girls who made their living from prostitution. The host of this team said that with few exceptions, “they do not build relationships; they come for projects.” A pastor’s wife was puzzled that the short-term mission often turns out to be a vacation, which raises questions about the sincerity of some short-term missionaries. She asked, ‘Do they come here to do the holiday thing or do they come here to minister?”

Scandalous!

I have Aspergers Syndrome

2008-04-02T16:40:00.002-05:00

Maybe you think people with mental disabilities are unable, by definition, to properly diagnose themselves. But I bet to differ. I work with kids with Aspergers. Working with these kids has led me to conclude that either A. I have Aspergers or B. they are normal. What I am trying to say is their "problems" are the same that I have had. While Wikipedia offers several symptoms to define this condition, none of the kids exhibits any of them other than the avoidance of and uncomfortable feelings around people.

My mom said that she was worried that my teachers would think I was abused. I went to one day of basketball, cried and went home. I remember the first day of swimming lessons. I cried and went home. Karate didn't last long either. I peed my pants in kindergarten because I was too afraid to ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom. My second grade report card said that I was getting so much better and that I found a friend to sit with on the steps during recess. I think the reason hockey lasted was because I got to wear a helmet or something...I don't know. Mom, if you can think of other embarrassing examples, feel free to share them.

Two of the kids aren't even as bad as I was. One is worse. So what's the point of this blog? I don't know. I was never told I had a disability, nor was I given any meds. Were I born in the metro area 15 years later, I would have been. It is frustrating working with these kids. Not so much because they frustrate me, but because their families do. One of the kids is allowed to play video games all his non-school and non-sleeping hours. One of the kid's parents monitors every single thing he does. Non of these kids have any friends. They aren't forced to do anything outside of their comfort zones.

Anyway, this blog comes after a frustrating two hour workday. The kid wouldn't shut off the computer, then he went nuts, spitting and breaking everything. I went home and my boss is now working.

Boys and Reading

2007-12-18T22:35:00.000-06:00

According to the Strib, boys don't read as much as girls.

The article focused on teachers trying to get boys to read more. Read it and let me know what your opinions are if you have any. I found it interesting for several reasons. One, I never read any books as a kid. I hated reading, to some extent I still do. But somehow I am able to read things at a normal level if not better. I don't know how this happened. It seems, at least for me, that learning and being able to read were very separated from the desire to read.

Another reason I found this interesting is that the Strib actually published an article about differences between boys and girls in school. It seems to me that our culture tends to tell us that gender plays no role in things such as this. Then the Strib went even further and sort of suggested that by incorporating sports etc. that it can encourage them to read. It's like something pulled straight out of the 50's!

Here are my theories, and you better leave yours.

I think boys in general are less interested in stories. It doesn't matter if it's about baseball, girls, bugs or guts. They just don't care about stories. Women like stories. There are lots of emotions in stories. Boys typically don't want anything to do with emotions.

Boys are adventurous. They like learning, it's just that a lot of what they want to learn about has nothing to do with whatever reading assignment they have in their bag.

If you gave a boys a bunch of chemicals, materials and an instruction manual on how to build a simple bomb, they without a doubt would (after their intuition failed) pick up the manual, read it, and then blow up some small animal that they learned how to trap from their boy scouts field manual.

So, to end this crappy blog, I will offer public school teachers my advice on how to get kids to read. Give them a constructive assignment that forces them to use their brain and somehow obtain relevant knowledge in order to proceed.

Or....tell them that they don't have to read, but if they don't they will grow up and most likely make much less than their reading counterparts. They will then wish they could read but won't have the motivation to learn. So, they better just learn to read now because if they don't they will be held back a year and all the older and bigger kids will think they are losers and probably kick the crap out of them at recess...while of course taunting them for being so stupid. Then they will be stupid, beat up, and on the road to poverty.

The End.

Amazon.com book reviewer of the year.

2007-12-12T09:30:00.000-06:00

Mike A., if you haven't seen the blog of Jon Swift, I highly recommend it. Even though I don't know you so well I think for some reason you would like it. Colleen, maybe a little, Laura, not so much. Mom, I have no idea. And if you weren't mentioned, I'm sorry, maybe you should leave a comment once a month so I can better tailor my blogs to a specific audience.

Anyway, I stumbled onto this blogger site. And he has a blog dedicated to all his Amazon.com book comments (above link). He said he compiled them after Amazon started deleting them. I have actually been laughing out loud reading this, I never do that. Couple examples:

The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx
I think it's illegal to read this, January 19, 2006
I have not actually read this book and I believe, in fact, that it is illegal to read it, or soon will be.

Fight Back : Tackling Terrorism, Liddy Style by G. Gordon Liddy
2 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
Rational, commonsense ideas, February 17, 2006
I have not actually read this book but I'm sure Mr. Liddy has some rational, commonsense ideas for fighting terrorism. For example, one thing terrorists want to do is to instill fear and Mr. Liddy is an expert at that. To get over his fears he once cooked and ate a rat, climbed a tree in a thunderstorm and held his hand over an open flame until it burned his flesh. If all Americans followed Mr. Liddy's lead and did these simple things that anyone can do at home I don't think we would have to worry about terrorism anymore.

English teaching in Japan

2007-12-04T16:07:00.000-06:00

My lessons were really nothing like this (warning, it's even awkward watching it by yourself).

Bad Case Of Diarrhea - Watch more free videos

Enjoy your job

2007-12-02T23:53:00.000-06:00

No doubt, some of you are reading this as you suffer through work...or maybe even the dreaded job search. It's important to remember that no matter how difficult it seems, life could always be worse.

No caption necessary

2007-11-27T23:39:00.001-06:00

Drums

2007-11-26T16:45:00.000-06:00

I really like the drums. I can't play them but I wish I could. They are my favorite instrument. For this reason, bands like Tool are amongst my favorites even though I don't like much else about them. They have an awesome drummer. And what else could be cooler than taking an otherwise crappy song, adding drums to it, and making it cool?

Fortunately for my brain, I haven't been forced by some radio somewhere to hear this song over and over again. I didn't even realize the first time I heard it that Soulja Boy was some form of ebonics or something for Soldier Boy. I thought it had something to do with Soul and maybe Ja Rule. Who knows. Anyway. Turn it up and enjoy.

PS, I always kind of feel like an internet letdown when I see a youtube video that has been seen 6 million times before I've seen it. Oh well.

Howler monkeys

2007-11-24T00:35:00.001-06:00

I was scrolling through my old blogs from my Central America trip and I read about how howler monkeys were my new fav animal. I have told people this before but I of course can't reproduce the sound they make. They are soooo cool. I can't imagine what I would have thought had I heard them while I was alone and didn't know what they were. Turn up the sound and enjoy!

PS, this video is from Tikal, a place that I visited...that's cool I guess

Accidental racism

2007-11-08T10:48:00.000-06:00

Lopez spills beans on baby

Now to me, just by the definition, there is no such thing as accidental racism. I just thought this headline was hilarious and I can't think of a better way of describing it.

We don't need no water

2007-10-31T09:25:00.000-05:00

As of Tuesday, 18 of 23 wildfires in Southern California were completely under control, and the remainder were at least 70 percent contained, according to the Department of Forestry and Fire Protection.

The fires are blamed for 14 deaths and charred more than 508,000 acres, destroying about 1,600 homes.

Instead of trying to control the fires...why don't they just let them burn? It seems like it is just a matter of time before all dead wood just burns, so why hold out until it all happens at once? And Buckweed? What is that? Sounds pretty useless. It just seems so weird that California has basically been on fire as long as I can remember. Maybe if they would stop using all this energy on preventing it, and at the same time harness all this potential energy...then they would have more energy *thank you* and thus less energy shortage problems.

And we put in zillions of dollars into anti-terrorist stuff securing this securing that etc. But an 8 year old kid can do all this damage, and by accident to. He should get a medal, I mean really, just think of all the damage he could do with just a little bad intent.

And out of curiosity, does anyone know if there are any other regions in the world that just happen to be perpetually burning (and no sarcasm)? Maybe some day I'll google it.

Last fire blog ever, promise.
Mark

Dating Services

2007-10-25T16:50:00.000-05:00

I will be honest, I only thought of one of my friends when I saw this. I won't say who she is. I will only say...Colleen, if you ever find yourself on a date with one of these guys...just call me.

Politics in sports

2007-10-10T09:46:00.000-05:00

Sorry that I always have to rip on the Strib. Well, actually this is more ripping on the UofM and I guess the Strib for bothering to publish it....then on me for bothering to blog about it. And since I am at Century now I can't access the story because I can't remember my password/username. Why do they make people log in to read the story? That is dumb. You have to become a member...but don't worry, it's free!!!! Well what's the point of that? I imagine it has something to do with the Patriot Act. Anyway, on to what inspired this in the first place.

U won't reconsider sports ban over 'Fighting Sioux'
A University of Minnesota policy discouraging the school's athletic teams from competing against the University of North Dakota in any sport except hockey will stand. Updated Oct. 10, 2007

So what they are saying is that the UofM, a DivI school, will not compete in any sports against ND, a DivII school, except for it's hockey program which is in DivI.

In similar news, my former HS has recently declared that it's football team will under no circumstances compete against ANY teams from the NFL, nor will it play against the Jr High powder puff team.

There should be a separation of sport and state. And what is so offensive about the Fighting Sioux? Is it because of the Sioux, fighting, or both? Well I will read the story tonight and maybe update/edit this post.

What do you look forward to?

2007-10-04T11:03:00.000-05:00

I was recently, ok, 20 minutes ago, pondering what I look forward to. I look forward to a lot of things. Unfortunately, all these things are 5 years down the road. That is depressing. It probably explains why I can't seem to drag myself out of bed at 10:30am on a Thursday. I decided it is time I get some things in my life that I look forward to each day. I figured I would ask my two blog readers what they look forward to everyday. So what do you look forward to everyday? And don't say "Mark's next depressing blog." Ok, ready, go!

My tuition

2007-09-07T14:00:00.000-05:00

Relatively speaking, my tuition is pretty cheap. Two days ago, in my prosthetics class we had a guest speaker. She inspired this blog. My frustration may have partially stemmed from the fact that I just wanted to do my work and not have to listen to her. But as she spoke, I began to disagree with everything she said more and more.

Committees. They wanted us to join committees. Apparently, the more members of our little orthotics/prosthetics club that are on these committees, the more leverage we have. The example was that if we have a problem with parking we should join the parking committee to lobby for more parking or something. I don't know nor do I care about parking. Really...walking from the back of the parking lot to your classroom isn't the biggest problem in school. Unfortunately they do not seem to have a committee with the purpose of eliminating pointless committees.

The tutoring center came next. Every kid knows they have a tutoring center. It's advertised all over the place. Why do they need to take the time to go around to each class explaining all the benefits of it. If you need help and are unaware that there is a tutoring center, then you have problems. And why is it even necessary to have a tutoring center in the first place. Why not eliminate the whole thing, eliminate the lady's job who told me about it and lower my tuition by $2. Maybe I wrote about this before, but there is a scholarship here for kids who did poorly in HS. Eliminate this. Stop letting kids into college with a 1.7 HS GPA and I would have to assume that the tutoring center would just disappear on its own. Ironically enough, there is no tutor for prosthetics...well there are tutors I guess, I call them classmates. Why she had to give her spiel in this class is even more befuddling.

Am I calling every person that's ever used the tutoring center an idiot? No. The option is there so if you need it then take it and you are smarter for doing so. But I think by forcing kids to use their text books, outside materials, form study groups and (ahhhhhghgh) go to class, they would only be strengthening their academic abilities.

I have used the tutoring center before. I can't say it was my last resort. I used it as a freshman at UMD for math because I didn't go to class. I also used it for my writing class. I just had them proofread my papers (journalism majors are good for something I guess). I used it once here for chem. Basically the only reason I ever used it was because it was easier to go there and have someone explain it than to read the book.

And yes, there is a diversity committee. I am thinking that by joining I will be increasing my chances at one of the diversity scholarships. The problem is that I am too lazy.

Colo. school bans tag on its playground

2007-08-31T11:46:00.000-05:00

Thu Aug 30, 7:44 AM ET
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - An elementary school has banned tag on its playground after some children complained they were harassed or chased against their will.

"It causes a lot of conflict on the playground," said Cindy Fesgen, assistant principal of the Discovery Canyon Campus school.

Running games are still allowed as long as students don't chase each other, she said.

Fesgen said two parents complained to her about the ban but most parents and children didn't object.

In 2005, two elementary schools in the nearby Falcon School District did away with tag and similar games in favor of alternatives with less physical contact. School officials said the move encouraged more students to play games and helped reduce playground squabbles.

These things just baffle and to be honest kind of anger me. Here are a few more headlines/links from googling "school bans."

School Bans Talking at Lunch
School bans pigs stories
School Bans Hugging
Catholic School Bans Pro-life Speaker
School bans 'wrong race' hairstyle
School bans Christmas,but OK with Halloween
High school bans blogging
Va. middle school bans touching
School bans girl's 'virgin' ring
School bans Mother's Day cards
School Bans Sack Lunches, Baked Goods
Plano school bans Christmas Colors
L.I. School Bans Deaf Boy's 'Helper' Dog

Ok, that's all I have the patience to look up. I can see a kid complaining from something tag related. If someone is picking on you I guess it is natural and acceptable to complain. But I have a problem with parents complaining to teachers about tag related problems as well as schools solving these problems by banning tag. If someone were getting picked on during math class would it make sense to just ban math? Of course not. Although it might sound harsh to some, sometimes parents just need to tell their kids to get over it. Getting picked on or whatever is part of being in elementary, middle and high school (life in general I guess). Learning to handle it when they're young will just make it easier to handle when they are an adult and there is no authority figure to turn to...because it will still happen. If you start whining about it it will just get worse.

Well, there are tons of pages that came up. In short they mostly deal with T-shirts, ipods, anything related to Christianity, Harry Potter, myspace and more than a few dealing with what kind of food kids can bring in.

I remember my dad talking about how when he was a kid everyone played with knives at recess.

Post Peru Post

2007-08-26T18:23:00.000-05:00

I just read an old portion of my blog from back when I was in Japan. I enjoyed the memories. Because of that I now feel obligated to write about my Peru trip. Well, I am going to give the headlines and hope I will still know what happened when I read this in 2 years. So Future Mark, I hope you understand this, and if you don't...I'm sorry. And for others who may be interested...you can ask me someday if you want.

Protest in Huanaco
Protest in Pucallpa
8 Hour bus ride to Huaraz with horrible movies blaring.
Bingo on the bus
Cool hostels...one for 3 bucks. The last person before me signed in months before I did.
Ice climbing, hiking, rock climbing.
Nasty bug bites
Spending a week in central Lima...booooring.

Pucallpa...
Playing with all these kids.
Learning espanol...or trying
The police closing down all the streets so cars can race on the main street.
Going to the races only to see nothing but dust for two hours and going home.
Some nice old lady convincing me to hang out with her son.
Hanging out with her son and 10 or so of his super gay friends and listening to them talk about fashion and asking me if I were OK being there.
Motocross and heat
Volleyball
Catching the cell phone thief after he took pics of himself with my cam phone.
Kids using my Ipod and messing with every possible option that it has.
Me getting pissed about it.
Lobo suffering in the heat.

Back from Peru

2007-08-24T13:53:00.000-05:00

I am back from Peru. It was awesome. I start school on Monday which means classes from 7:30 to 5 with a break from 9-1 and plenty of time to blog about nothing. During my time in Peru I had all these things I needed to get out of me. Of course I can't remember any of them now. A few I can think of are

Airlines. I think I complain about these after every trip, but I'm not sure. I know I spend hours thinking about complaining about them.

Legalism.

Stupid warnings/additional info on consumer products. I see one as I type this. From the DVD main menu "Subtitles (for the hearing impaired)"

Thoughts

2007-06-16T21:52:00.001-05:00

These are just a few random thoughts that ran through my head today:

It is amazing how much coverage is given to Paris Hilton by the TV news. I just turned on the TV for a couple secs and was watching Nancy Grace. I don't normally watch her and I only really know of her name because people always make fun of her. To sum up the few seconds of what I saw:

Paris Hilton went to court
Her hair didn't look very good
They reported on how simple her clothes were
And they said she looked sad

I went to Applebees with my fam in the late evening. The sun was setting and shining in the eyes of everyone facing that direction. It was at an angle so that it came through the window one booth over. Everyone asked the waiter if he could shut the shades in the appropriate booth, he then did so. I just find it odd that no one simply asks the people sitting one booth over if they can just shut the shades. My mother, being the caring person she is, wanted to shut our shade because the light was shining in the eyes of the people behind me. I decided it would be a good idea not to because I think they should ask us...or the waiter. I'm just mean like that. The waiter has plenty of other things to do. Simply flagging him down is more work than just asking the other patrons. Yet people often take this route anyway. This may or may not be a cultural thing, but I find it odd either way.

While this is a very simple example I think it sums up the habits of a lot of people in general. People often go way out of their way to get someone else to take care of a problem. In this case it may be very simple and may just seem like the polite thing to do (and maybe it is). But I think often times it just creates more conflict (although it wouldn't apply in the above example). For instance, if the person in the neighboring apartment unit is watching TV at a volume that is keeping you up and you are fed up enough to do something about it then calling security may seem like a reasonable and normal approach. They will probably turn it down as I am sure they are unaware that they are being obnoxious. But then they are just going to view you as that person that called security for such a simple thing. It is one of those things that seems like the best course of action because you don't have to talk to the perps. Obviously (at least I hope) you wouldn't know the person watching TV too loud if you call security. If you go ask them to turn down the TV, well you now have the opportunity to meet your neighbors. I think this kind of behavior is something that a lot of people do, yet when they are on the receiving end, then they are wondering why the person just didn't say something. Although I can't recall a specific experience, the length of this blog tells me that there are a few stored in my memory somewhere.

Anyway, in case you skipped the body of this blog or my examples confuse you, in short it says that you should try and take care of simple inconveniences directly and that people should stop caring about Paris Hilton's clothes. And FYI, I think girls are more attractive when they wear simple clothes.

Oh, and I went to visit my relatives today and found out that my little cousin has been sleeping outside in random places in the woods since April 1st. I think that's awesome. He just finished 7th grade. We (cousin, dad, mom and myself) spent about 15 minutes trying to catch one of his chickens that has been on the loose for two days. Hilarity ensued. Oh how I love the Stillwater countryside.

NASA

2007-05-18T11:08:00.000-05:00

Ok, for real, this is my last video entry.

Awesome!!

2007-05-04T09:31:00.000-05:00

Someone else also just discovered that if you google "wiffle ball bounciness" without the parenthesis, I come up at #10.

I hope you like pain!

2007-05-04T09:13:00.000-05:00

Colleen, I am only posting this blog because you requested it.

Sometimes children seem really innocent because they look cute. But it is always important to remember that children use their cuteness to get away with evil. Girls do this too.

These next two are both from the same people and to be honest I only kinda laughed the second time on each. Semi-funny, semi-stupid. Oh well.
Mormons

Car insurance

Soccer video

And you all know that I'm obsessed with martial arts and I know that none of you would want to watch martial arts videos. So I thought we could compromise a little. Ninja Auditions:

We haven't even left Nebraska yet!

2007-05-02T10:44:00.000-05:00

Fast forward to about the 2 min mark. The Fred Phelps Church or whatever.

This one passed the "did it make me laugh the 2nd time" test. I have no idea why it's so funny. It's so stupid but I was laughing. It's from the whiskey people.

I get a loan, finally

2007-05-01T10:53:00.000-05:00

Well after 3 months of dealing with unconcerned administrative staff, I finally got approved for a loan. This seems like something that should take a couple days. Oh well, I guess I will start filling out paperwork until I run into the next roadblock. Also, when I sat down on the comp I turned on MSN. I never do this. I get this random message from a random person. This is our conversation:

rizeliemrah_16@hotmail.com says: awe
Mark says: awesome?
rizeliemrah_16@hotmail.com says: fuck
Mark says:?
Mark says:who is this?
.... says:my name is emrah
Mark says:and you're from madagascar?
.... says:yes
Mark says:That's awesome, I love that movie
Mark says:what are you doing today?
.... says:I visited with my girlfriend

And what would a blog update be without a video

Racism...what, you wanted a cookie?

2007-04-25T18:13:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I think our society has overdone it a little. We are kind of at that ultra sensitive point where if someone says something that deals with race it is often times considered racist even if it is not. But, a member of whatever minority can say whatever it wants about its own race, no matter how offensive, and it is not considered racist. It makes for great comedy too.

The first two are of our good friend Chris Rock (no relation to Chris Hill...I don't think). They are full of obscenities so you probably shouldn't watch them at work or if you are with your mother. You may have seen them both already as they are fairly popular on the video sites.

The second is of some kid on youtube. I think it's pretty work safe but I forgot already. Enjoy.

Supersize me

2007-04-17T23:06:00.000-05:00

Well, if you ever saw the above movie you may find this funny. Or if you haven't seen it but you know the premise you still may find it funny. Or possibly you did or didn't see it and you will not find it funny. Basically, I found it funny so I thought I would post it (assuming I can figure out how). Anyway, I was thinking since I am no longer living in interesting places doing interesting things maybe I would just fill my blog with interesting videos. It seems like a good idea but it's probably just a phase. Vamos a ver.

And here is a pretty funny paintball one. I've never played but I bet if I were challenged by a bunch of 8 year olds - I'd be up for it!

pwnzing boxen

2007-03-30T09:36:00.000-05:00

"w00t" was originally an trunicated expression common among players of Dungeons and Dragons tabletop role-playing game for "Wow, loot!" Thus the term passed into the net-culture where it thrived in video game communities and lost its original meaning and is used simply as a term of excitement.
"I defeated the dark sorcerer! Woot!"
"woot! i r teh flagmastar!" (Think Tribes)
"Woot, I pwnzed this dude's boxen!'

I am not completely sure, but I am almost sure that I have at one point of my life said "wOOt."

I think if I were to say it naturally it would come out "wootwoot." Like a sick owl I guess. I have no idea what pwnzed or boxen mean.

And no offense to any smokers that read this, but the smoking sections just aren't enough. The problem is that after you are finished smoking you still stink. Things for smokers should be the opposite of handicap things. They should have to park in the back. Sit in a really small bathroom stall. Walk up really steep steps with no railings. This rant was brought to you buy the stinky guy that just sat down 2 comps away from me and I am seriously considering pwnzing his boxen.

And now that I've ranted I just want to say that I know most smokers don't smell any worse than I do and if a smoker ever needs help from me I will gladly offer it.

Century College

2007-03-07T10:20:00.000-06:00

I am just sitting in the Century College computer lab. It's really quiet except the lab attendant is having a really casual conversation with someone on the phone and he has been on for about ten minutes. Also, I have found a site where I can watch all the clips from Chappelle's Show so that takes care of the noise.

I think I can get an A in Anatomy/phys without actually learning anything. But I will probably just get a B without learning anything because either will get me where I want to go.

I forgot to put in my contacts today. I hate wearing glasses.

Today is the start of the MN boys HS state hockey tourney. Probably the best hockey to watch short of the Olympics.

I am trying to plan a summer trip to Peru. It is still in the daydreaming phase but hopefully will turn into something.

Also, I hate the post office and think you should use UPS for every package.

Recycling

2007-02-16T09:58:00.000-06:00

I used to feel bad because I never recycled. Now I recycle and I feel bad because I do. Somewhere over the past couple months I seem to have developed a distaste for the whole concept. I guess not really the concept itself, but sort of what goes along with it. I will throw it out in short because I don't feel like typing:

I have to pay to recycle. I also have to clean and separate everything.
I don't have a problem with the later, but why do I have to pay when I am essentially giving someone resources? Is it more expensive to have paper recycled than to cut down some tree and make it? I should have to pay for garbage pick-up and I should get paid for recycling. I assume the recycling industry is getting paid to pick it up and paid to get rid of it. On to the consumer side of things. I hate it when products are advertised as "made from recycled material" and then they're just as expensive or even more expensive than the regular product. They are trying to guilt-trip people into buying their product, all the while they are simply getting a huge deal on the manufacturing end. Now when I recycle instead of feeling all righteous like usual, I just feel like I am being suckered into some assembly line without even knowing it.

For the record, I still recycle, I am just not very enthusiastic about it. I am that way about a lot of things.

And Century college has free printer use. They just got a new one, it prints really fast. I wish they had one with the option of punching holes in it for the binder. That would save me about 10 seconds a day and I would probably be more enthusiastic about printing.

Naptime.
Mark

The Leg Bounce

2007-02-09T09:01:00.000-06:00

It's cold here. And I have been very busy but things should cool down pretty soon...unless I get a job. I've noticed that I have been a little more irritable as of late, I attribute it to being extra busy, but that is probably not the case. It may be the cold. If someone else is irritable I just assume it's because they have a rotten personality.

This morning in A&P lecture the guy two seats down kept doing the leg bounce thing. I am sure there is a name for this, when you sit there and use your calf muscle to bounce your leg up and down really fast. It was shaking the entire table. My seat is connected to the table, thus I was shaking too. After about 20 minutes of leg bounciness I tapped him on the shoulder and let him know that he was shaking the whole table. He apologized and then he stopped. He proceeded to tell me how tired he was - apparently that has some connection to the leg bounce. Five minutes later it started again, but it stopped, then it started again and stopped. It went on like this for the rest of lecture. I kind of felt bad because I assumed that every time he realized he was doing it he felt kind of bad. I wanted to ask the physiology instructor why this kid kept shaking my chair.

This is the first lecture hall class I have had in a few years. I remember what I hate about them (besides the leg bouncers). I find it annoying that all the kids start sitting at the outside of the row and then work their way in. Then the people who show up 5 minutes before class (me) have to squeeze past all these fat kids with their coats and backpacks on the chairs while they try and scoot in and give me that disgusted "why didn't you show up 20 minutes ago" look. Then I give them my disgusted "why don't you mind your own business and scoot in or I'll hit your head with my butt as I pass by" look. Then of course other kids show up 10 minutes into class and have to crawl over all these people. It reminds me of getting off an airplane which I was planning on writing a blog about while I sat there on my way back from N.O. thinking about how the airplane exit has to be one of the most inefficient things ever. But then we just have to wait for our baggage so it doesn't really matter. I imagine that my next flight anywhere will be followed by a long rant.

New Orleans

2007-01-11T17:20:00.000-06:00

Well I have spent the past month gutting houses/sitting around here in New Orleans. I've met a lot of really cool people...even if some have annoyed the crap out of me. So some thoughts on post-Katrina N.O. Well they kind of depend on my mood, so here goes:

Good Mood
It's awesome to have a chance to help out people who really need it. Out of the 15 or so houses that I've worked on I've only had the opportunity to meet/work with 3 of the homeowners. They were all really grateful and definitely in need of some help. One disabled veteran, one older lady and... ok, only two. The other family I met was while I was delivering Christmas presents to their house. They are the grandparents but are taking care of the 3 kids because their daughter is "on drugs." The grandfather was on disability and he also just broke his hand. The baby has sickle cell anemia and the only money they get is from the grandfather's disability money. The grandmother was also sent to the hospital after she was trampled in the Superdome.

Bad Mood
It has been 17 months or so since Katrina. Why haven't these people gutted their houses yet? Sure, there are disabled and elderly. But that can't be all of N.O. This place is a dump. It looks like the flood waters went down a month ago. I read a newspaper from about 6 months after the hurricane and it said that about %25 of the gutting was done by undocumented workers. Another huge portion seems to come from out of town volunteers. Apparently the actual residents are busy doing drugs and shooting each other. I think a good portion of the people here have become dependent on aid - or even the hope of it. People are constantly coming by the office here asking for stuff. Basically every business here is hiring. Why don't they just get a job and then pay for some people to do their stuff. If someone without citizenship or the ability to speak English can come over here and make a $100 a day then why can't this city's residents? I think my bitterness about the whole thing comes from putting myself in their shoes. I can't convince myself that if my family were living here we would have done anything other than just wait until the house dries up and then gut it ourselves. I think an able-bodied family of 4 could take care of their house in ten days or so...depending on the size and how much crap they have. The city has been taking care of everyone's garbage, but this service will apparently be ending soon. All people have to do is drag it out of their house and dump it on the street. Easy. People need to suck it up. They always use this term in sports but sadly it doesn't get much use in real life. Maybe if my family had lived here we all would have just sat on the steps of businesses that were hiring and asked for handouts from customers. People seem to have this mentality that since they didn't cause the hurricane, why should they have to clean up its mess?

So on a bit of a tangent, I couldn't care less about the whole Mex border/immigration issue. But a lot of people do. I think a good solution would be a trade-off. Instead of spending the whole time trying to keep Latinos out, we should just have a special road where kids serve lemonade and a big "WELCOME" sign hangs over everything. Then the Latinos can just get some documents and lemonade and come in. The big "BIENVENIDOS" sign, which would be facing the other direction but in roughly the same spot would welcome all of Mexico's new citizens (they can have lemonade too). Then we will get buses and load up all the bums and people who've proven that they just can't make it in such a capitalistic environment. Basically what I am trying to say is that the undocumented workers here are doing a zillion times more work than the actual residents of N.O. I guess what really irks me is just that so many people seem to be sitting around waiting for some charity to rescue them when they are completely capable of taking care of themselves...including their fam and home. House gutting is not something that requires a degree of any kind...a hammer and a broom will get you a long way. And yes, I am living in a charity so if there are some hard-working residents...I didn't have the chance to see them!

I have had a ton of random N.O. related blogs in my head but typing this up is just making me angry so I am going to stop now. I hope you all had a good Christmas.

Model minority

2006-12-09T17:52:00.000-06:00

A 2005 Princeton study showed Asians (not whites) bear nearly 80% of the cost of affirmative action in college admissions. Nearly four out of every five spots given to blacks and Hispanics in an affirmative-action regime would go to Asians in a purely merit-based system.

The Minnesota Vikings

2006-12-03T19:05:00.000-06:00

I think if they could somehow convince the NFL to count field goals as 4 points they would have a much better chance of winning. I guess 5 points would be even better.

Also, I really enjoy pizza rolls. I bought them at the discount store. They look/taste really unhealthy. They're awesome.

Collecting coins

2006-11-26T18:50:00.000-06:00

Why would someone pay $10 for a nickel? It doesn't make sense.

Randoms

2006-11-18T23:19:00.000-06:00

I no longer associate cuteness with anything gothic. This is because I walk by them a few times a day. It was cute the first couple times...but seriously, how much Magic can be played before they realize that they are playing Magic? Of course I make such outlandish statements without ever having indulged in it myself. I don't know exactly why I don't like it or anything associated with it, but that's just how it is.

So here are a few random things:
I read that in N. Korea, to save electricity, the stoplights were replaced with traffic officers (is there a better term for these people?). They all happen to be hot females. I'm moving to North Korea!!!

Also, the N. and S. Korea border is the most heavily militarized in the world. This doesn't suprise me or probably anyone else. I just didn't know it.

So I'm in the process of reading a book on N.K., 2 on Rwanda, and one sort of guide/read along thing to the Old Test. I think this is all because I have a chem exam on Monday that will determine my future.

I found out the other day that my ice scraper scrapes off about a 1/2 inch strip of ice. This would be fine if the scraper were 1/2 inches wide, but as it turns out, it's like 5.

I have a pair of pants that are static free until I go into the college. I don't know the science behind this, all I know is it kind of sucks.

Sitting next to me is the DVD "how to lose a guy in 10 days." I've never seen it and probably won't watch it. I think if I ever had to lose a guy, 10 days would be way too long.

I don't know what I am doing for Christmas vac. I am not going to Hawaii due to financial reasons. Does anyone want a guest at their house?

I have had a cough for about 2 weeks now. I've decided that it comes and goes with change in elevation. This may sound retarded, but it seems to get better or worse when I go upstairs/downstairs, with no correlation between one or the other.

The 95 Camry

2006-10-28T14:51:00.000-05:00

Over the first 5 tanks of gas, my little beast averaged 30.5mpg. Not bad. I see a lot of new cars that apparently average 29. I credit my lack of a best friend, children and girlfriend for producing such efficient fuel consumption. For those of you who want to increase your fuel efficiency, I recommend lightening the load a little. I don't mean get a divorce or give your kids up for adoption, I just mean leave them at home.

Sorry

2006-10-26T13:17:00.000-05:00

I have this counter thing on my blog. It records how many people come to my site. You probably knew that. If someone stumbles on my blog via google or something, it also records the search words. This is the part I like....or at least it can be interesting. My counterpage thingy only saves everything for like a month, and then it deletes them all which is annoying. So for the random people from Google, here are a few search tips:

Use these things ""
It appears that most of the people who drift upon my site do so while searching for adult entertainment. Imagine their disappointment. This is a result of them typing in something like "japanese toes" or "all about ass" only without the quotation marks. To be honest, I don't recall ever typing the word ass in my blog until 5 seconds ago. I probably misspelled bass or mass...which brings me to the next part.

The other randoms are usually people who search for something and then spell it wrong. This is the second most popular set of visitors. Ok, I can't spell. Sorry. But that's no excuse for your spelling.

So for those of you that might happen to stumble on this blog by accident: I'm sorry this is not a porn site and/or that you can't spell. But this doesn't mean we can't be friends. My name is Mark and I currently have no best friend or passion in life. But I am conveniently located just off of 694 and 35W.

Also, I've been having trouble coming up with a halloween costume. I found one today and then I put it back and decided on a much cooler one. I would have been mildly offended by it 5 years ago but now I think it's funny and I can wear it all week

Important things in life

2006-10-17T15:24:00.000-05:00

I've learned two things about myself in the past couple weeks.

1. I don't seem to be passionate about anything.
2. I don't have a best friend.

I don't think either of these are good things.

A funny story for Chris

2006-10-03T16:29:00.000-05:00

In Japan there was this group of 5 boys. They were wild, out of control...or depending on how you look at it, they were just normal 10 year old boys whose parents tried to get rid of their energy by dropping them off for English lessons. They had two teachers before me, but these teachers were unable to get a grip on the class so they were turned over to the teacher of all teachers aka me.

Too lazy and unconcerned to try and make them learn English I let them just run around and do whatever they wanted. However, I did regulate their chaos. For those of you who don't know what K1 is, it is the Japanese kickboxing org. The goal of these young men appeared to be to emulate their heroes of K1. My job was pretty simple in theory, but with the language aspect it got a little harder. No strikes to the groin and no tag-teaming were really my only rules. After they got this down (which I guess they never really did) my only job was to stand in the middle before they started and signal them to begin by dropping my hand and yelling "FIGHT!"

Headshot, bodyshot, combo, nice shot and fight were the only words they learned. But I like to think they learned so much more. Discipline, respect, honor. These are all very valuable in Japanese culture. They also learned to never give up. This was evident in the fact that the larger kid, Kazuki, won every time. But the challengers kept coming.

I would have owned them, even all at once. They all knew that.

Goth kids are cute

2006-09-25T15:19:00.000-05:00

Century College has a lot of goth kids. I'm not sure if they were just invisible on the U campus or if they were just overshadowed by all the hippy posers. Maybe something in their goth mentality keeps them out of the big universities. These kids may be goth posers but I am not sure as I don't know them and I don't know the true def. of a goth kid. But they look like what I assume are goth kids. I am used to seeing goth kids sit alone in their self-imposed alienated state. Never talking to anyone, never smiling, and never seeming to care about anything except writing on their black clothes with black pens.

They congregate in one of the student lounge-type areas and no one else seems to want to venture in there. They don't seem to have the whole Columbine mentality that one would assume (or that dude in Canada that went crazy). It's interesting to see them interact together since usually you don't ever see them interact with anyone at all. There is always one group playing Magic (the card game), the otherday I saw them playin with plastic light sabers. They seem to have fun talkin really loud and tryin to stand out in the crowd...kinda like normal kids but just gothier. As I was standing on the floor above them looking down I couldn't help but smile. Just seeing how these guys interact with one another as opposed to with "normal" people just brought a smile to my face. The only way I could think of describing them at that moment was "cute."

Still, just as they probably have no idea why anyone would want to wear jeans and a t-shirt, I have no idea why anyone would want to look like a depressed vampire...and then go to college.

Water Fountains

2006-09-24T21:12:00.000-05:00

I imagine somewhere every institution keeps a record of how many water fountains they have in their building. I'm sure they feel great about themselves when they sit back and think "wow, we have a lot of water fountains, all spewing cold water to the masses." But how many of these really function? I remember the water fountain in the library at UMD gave me a huge shock whenever I touched the button, and if I somehow bypassed it I would receive it on my lips. Anyway, the inspiration from this blog comes from Century College with its pathetic excuses for "bubblers." They spit out water like a half inch. It's really depressing. And then of course you feel like a retard when you push the button, your head goes half way down with that "I'm about to quench my thirst" smile....then you bail out like a wussy. It's not that I'm a priss or anything, but there is no way my mouth is going to make it's little kissy face that close to a germ covered rusty ol' spigot. I mean this is America. I'm sure somewhere we have budgeted for some group whose job it is to go around and make sure all fountains are up to par. I think to feel comfortable drinking, I am going to need at least 2 inches. That's not asking a lot. What is the proper emo way to manipulate typing to show that we are frustrated? uhhhhhh *(frown)*

Judge Mark

2006-09-20T12:57:00.001-05:00

While my grandpa was giving me the walking tour through the nursing home I became kind of depressed. It was just all of these old people sitting in beds watching court TV. That of course made me think of the purpose of my existence...as well as the purpose for all these old people. Maybe the purpose of my existence is to entertain old people at the hospital, but if that were the case, what would the purpose of all the old people be? Just an outlet for me to fulfill my purpose? I don't think so. I decided that whatever my purpose is, it must be something that I can work toward/fulfill throughout my entire life. If the last 2 years of my life consist of liquid meals and Judge Judy, someone please end them prematurely. That is why I am excited to be entering a career that I can continue until I die. While most people seem to use work as a means to retirement, I feel like I am looking forward to work as some sort of purpose. I don't think I will want to retire. I want to work. But is it that simple? I doubt it.

To lighten it up a bit, here are some funny things my grandpa said:

They need a pistol range in here (talkin about how boring the place is).

They never think of anyone except themselves, they don't seem to realize that someone is going to have to come clean up their mess (talking about people who commit suicide by throwing themselves in front of a train).

I think if I had to choose between having a prosthetic arm or leg, I'd chose a leg, but whoever really has a choice?

Finally

2006-09-09T21:15:00.000-05:00

Well, after 2 minutes of guessing my password, I've finally got it. Except I don't know what I wanted to blog about anymore. Well, I can only imagine it was something really cool. Oh well.

Mark news:
He is breezin through 3 classes at Century College.
He is looking for something to do on Fridays because he quit school on that day.
He is the proud owner of a 95 Camry with 165k miles and a rattle in the back (kind of like a rattle snake but less cool and maybe more dangerous).
He is disturbed by the amount of $ he spends on food each week.
He is practicin BJJ on T and Th every week.
He is on a comp with a not so sensitive G key, he doesn't type things like "breezin" and "practicin" to be cool
He is gettin annoyed with his third person typing.
I am blogging about nothing at 915pm on a saturday, I'm so cool.
I think that's really all the Mark news, not that it would really matter if there is some news I am forgetting. I may play disc golf tmrw with some old Duluth friends. There.

"CNN Exclusive: Lawyer says suspects upset"

2006-08-12T22:44:00.000-05:00

I originally was going to post a blog about how stupid the title of this headline was (of course without even reading the body), but then I found States auction airport contraband.

It seems like a pretty typical story, except for: Most of the contraband merchandise is knives, nail clippers and cuticle scissors that were forbidden as carry-on items following the terror attacks of September 11, 2001. But there's also Wiffle Ball bats...and a couple of chain saws.

How does someone try and explain that he didn't know he couldn't bring a chainsaw in his carry-on? And how does the security guy try and explain the dangers of having a Wiffle Ball bat on a plane?

The 3 R's

2006-08-06T15:25:00.000-05:00

Since I am back in the 1st world I decided to update my Ipod and throw on some new music. The 3 R's by Jack Johnson is one of the catchiest songs I've heard in awhile, and it's funny. Jack Johnson is pretty popular, but he is 10x as popular in Hawaii (he is from there). So when I was there he was played a lot and I became a fan. So hearing this guy singing "reduce reuse recycle" is just great, and it will be stuck in your head for a day. Anyway, it's from the soundtrack for Curious George. I asked my aunt Sue if she had seen the movie and our conversation went something like this:

S: No I haven't, but I wanted to. I think he has fetal alcohol syndrome. He is very impulsive and never thinks of the consequences, so he's always getting into trouble...also, he is a little hyperactive. Did you read the books when you were a kid?

Me: Yeah, when I was really little.

S: I used to read them to the kids. He was always getting into trouble and then his dad would always come get him out of it and he never faced any consequences for his actions. That's why I stopped.

Me: Oh.

S: You know who else has fetal alcohol syndrome? That fish from that movie, not the Little Mermaid. Miriam, what's that fishes name?

Miriam: From A Shark's Tale? Finding Nemo?

S: Yes Finding Nemo, the blue fish

Miriam: Dora

S: Totally fetal alcohol. Never thinking about anything, very impulsive.

THE END

In other Ipod news, I put on the James Blunt CD. I haven't listened to it and I am going to predict suckiness. But it has sentimental value because when I was in Guatemala the neighbor girl would play that "you're beautiful" (?) song every night three times in a row and she would sing with it really loud right before she went to bed. It was awesome. Until I saw the video I always thought the singer was a woman.

This is Mark, reporting live from my chair

2006-08-03T00:52:00.000-05:00

I should probably just stop reading it. These are the headlines as of...well whenever this blog was published (note the image experts, haha):

Mel Gibson formally charged with DUI | Video
TIME.com: Image experts offer Gibson advice
Sister says Castro getting better | TIME.com
Tourists evacuate from Chris' path | Path
Kids collect the bombs meant to kill them
Accused Marine sues war foe Murtha
Sports world burned by heat wave | Video
Heat kills pregnant mom at baseball game
Copter pilot allegedly lands in road for Tommy Lee
Tiny drug dog sniffs out big career
'Survivor' continues tour of U.S. prisons
Elvis' teddy destroyed by angry guard dog

Tangent.

Against my best interest I decided I had to read that last story, hence the link (although the title says it all). The dog was described as having gone beserk. This is stupid. For those of you who may be appalled by the outrageous and destructive actions of Barney, let me explain something. Dogs need to be taken care of. This means they need exercise. Sometimes when a dog (especially a Doberman) sits inside all day and does nothing, its energy becomes too much for it to contain and it must go berserk (kind of like me). My dog does this sometimes. It sprints back and forth through the house slipping and sliding, jumping over chairs. So if your dog is going berserk, it means you need to take it for a jog.

I guess Barney destroyed this collection worth about $900,000. That is also just stupid. Either the bears are old pieces of junk that nobody wants to play with anymore meaning they are worth whatever they could be sold for as pillows....or they have infinite worth due to their cuddliness (kind of like me).

Tangent.

I start school in 3 weeks. I have no job and nothing to do. I am going to try my best to occupy my time in some sort of constructive manner. So if you have any ideas let me know. Hippies are by definition lazy, I am not a hippy, therefore I should not be lazy....ok, that doesn't really work, but I still hate hippies, in a loving sort of way.

TCF

2006-08-02T14:50:00.000-05:00

I've slowly been trying to straighten out my bank account with TCF. I've been working at it for about 10 days now. The problem was finally located. Apparently, because I previously had a checking account with TCF my SS# was still in the system and screwing everything up. Of course they could have just left my account open, not stolen my $4 and we both would have saved a lot of time. I have been trying to set up my online banking this whole time. About 10 phone calls and 2 hours on hold in total. The most annoying thing is that every time they put me on hold they repeat this commercial over and over again about how online banking is fast, easy and convenient. I am on hold right now.

Now they said everything is ok. They've said this before.

Crisis followup

2006-08-02T11:06:00.000-05:00

Well, I just finished my last blog about 30 seconds ago. Read that one before you read this one...because this is chapter 2.

So I wrote my last blog about crisis experts. I published it, and then I clicked on my counter. Sure enough, 30 seconds earlier I had a visitor, we will just call him IP host3.fema.gov.

I'll be honest, this kind of scared me. I didn't really mean to rip on FEMA, I was actually ripping on CNN for their stupid news stories that aren't really news. The fear only lasted a second before it turned into amazement. Wow, FEMA really is fast, what are all these people talking about. Then, after a little investigating my amazement turned into disappointment. Mr. FEMA had actually visited my site while browsing through the blogs with the "next blog" button at the top right of your screen. How ironic though eh? eh?

CNN and Mel Gibson

2006-08-02T10:47:00.000-05:00

I don't care enough to read the entertainment news, but because my eyes can't help but avoid processing the small bits of text that we refer to as "headlines," I am forced to know what's going on in US pop culture.

"Crisis experts: Gibson facing uphill climb"

I now know what is wrong with America. It's not that we are obsessed with celebrities and scandals. It has nothing really to do with Mel Gibson. It is that our crisis experts are covering the Mel Gibson story.

Well I was just going to write a list of better uses for our crisis experts, but after a little thought, I don't think there are any. Also, I hereby declare myself a crisis expert. This is not to be confused with someone who will directly offer assistance in an emergency, however, I will explain to those that are interested exactly what you were thinking when this happened and what you could have done to avoid it. I will also give, in detail, the steps that you need to end this crisis and avoid it in the future.

Alopecoid

2006-07-25T15:16:00.000-05:00

My favorite spelling bee moment

n. fox-like

An interesting blog.

2006-07-25T15:04:00.000-05:00

I'm not talking about mine. After stubbling upon this video I read his blog. Very long, very interesting. I couldn't ever read the whole thing but there were two interesting passages:

For my flight out, I sat next to an 83-year-old veteran from Eastern Washington who served in Tokyo at the end of WWII. He was assigned to guard the German embassy until its occupants could be shipped back to Germany. He'd come over from Europe where he served in the infantry, crossing through France into Dusseldorf and then sieging a small town near the border with Czechoslovakia.

His unit spent most of the war lost. Everyone was lost all the time, he said. The Germans removed all the signs and the maps were inaccurate, so they just wandered around hoping to stay alive. The town they attacked -- they completely missed where they were ordered to go. They only found it by accident, approaching from the rear at night, inadvertantly bypassing all the German defenses and taking the town without firing a shot.

and:
I had dinner tonight with two Sudanese priests. They’re here getting trained to deal with trauma victims in their country – which I am sure there is no shortage of. We had a fascinating conversation in which they explained the history of the Sudanese conflict. They had very thick accents and I could only understand about half of what they said, but it was a lot more than I knew before.

The thing that surprised me most was learning how pleased they are with the war in Iraq. It turns out the Iraqi government had been supporting the Arab leadership in Khartoum, providing weapons and money for their war against the Christians in the south. With Iraq crippled, the Sudanese government has lost their supplier and are suddenly scrambling. According to these priests, the current peace negotiations are the direct result of the Iraq war. Otherwise the Arabs wouldn’t even be at the table.

http://wherethehellismatt.typepad.com/blog/

A short rant about sports

2006-07-24T01:19:00.000-05:00

OK, I don't watch ESPN because I don't have a TV. But I do like sports so I check their webpage.

Some of the stuff on ESPN, to me, is just not a sport.

Golf. It's a HS sport, college sport, and their are pros. But to me, it's just not a sport...it's a game, yes. Sport, no.

Horse racing, car racing...or any other sport that doesn't require legs. Of course you have to push the gas pedal and keep yourself on the horse. I guess horse racing would count as a sport for the horses. Racing with cars is something for 15 year olds to do for fun while they are drunk. 500 laps around the track on your legs or a bike, that's a sport.

The Spelling Bee. While I actually don't mind watching this for a bit, and one of my favorite video highlights comes from this, it's still not a sport.

The dog show. I'm not sure why, but this is on ESPN once a year, maybe more often, I'm not sure. While I have never seen an actual pageant (for people), I imagine that the dog show is similar...but for dogs. I would rather watch the people kind.

Bowling. Yes, it takes practice, there is pressure and money to be won...kind of like golf. But this is something for families to do with kids on their birthdays or for groups of men like Al Bundy with nothing else to do. It's a social thing.

Fishing and hunting. While I like participating in these, they're hobbies, pastimes, ways to get food, but not sports. Catching the animals with your barehands (assuming they could potentially kill you) and killing them, that would be a sport.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I am sure there are others that ESPN shows now and again. There should be some kind of criteria for something to be a sport. I think it must require endurance, athleticism, competition against another person. If there are teams it must require teamwork. If it's at the "pro" level and there is no disabled list then I wonder. Sports require athletic tape, sweat and stitches. Defense and offense...angry fans and rude chanting...trashtalk and carbo-loading. If the best "players" couldn't run a mile under ten minutes or do at least 30 pushups...then it's not a sport (I think all NFL offensive linemen as well as every women in a real sport would meet this criteria with ease.)

What's sad to me is that ESPN wouldn't have this kind of programming if it wasn't getting ratings. Really, who watches bowling or fishing on TV?

Stopping and starting all over

2006-07-23T11:54:00.000-05:00

I'm back from Central America. I am in Minneapolis with nothing to do for the next month. Looking for a house and a cheap car. I start school at the end of August and I am looking forward to studying like mad. So to end my almost 2 years of being away, here are some final thoughts on each place.

7 months in Hawaii. Nice ocean, nice weather. Lots of things to do. Horrible traffic and everyone has little dogs that bark all the time because they don't take care of them.

1 year in Japan. Lots of money to be made at a miserable job. Everything is small and if you want to understand things you just have to think of what is logical and then plan for the opposite. People take care of their dogs better than most people in some countries take care of their children. The transportation system is excellent. People are almost too respectful and they could eliminate their police force and crime would probably not increase at all. Also everything is very expensive.

Central Am./Mex. Keep all valuables safe. Never put your "carry on bag" on the bus rack above your head. Overall people are really nice but poverty and constant nagging caused me to avoid lots of conversations. Lots of people missing limbs. Lots of starving dogs with no place to go. Firecrackers, roosters, cars with no exhaust pipe, horns honking...all starting at about 5am. Cheap delicious food but it doesn't like to solidify in your digestive system.

Minneapolis. Familiar. Requires a car to get places that are more than a few miles away. Inconvenient bus system. Taxes (if you work). Expensive tuition and well trained quiet dogs. The end of Mark's blog...unless my boredom for the next month causes me to rant about losers in Lebanon or Mixed Martial Arts.

Adios for now.
Marcos

Drama in Mexico and Jiu Jitsu 101

2006-07-10T15:37:00.000-05:00

So as the title suggests, there was a little drama in Mexico two nights ago. Also, since I always write about BJJ and nobody knows (or cares)anything about it I will be introducing some possibly new terms.

It all started at about 4am. I was in a hostel sleeping, as I often am at this hour. I awake to the sound of 8 girls screaming their lungs out. My thought was the same as every other guy who has been in this situation..."girls, it´s early, please shutup." After about 10-15 seconds of screaming I put on my glasses and went over to the ladies dorm. They were crying and flapping around their hands like flightless birds. They explained to me that some Mexican dude had been under one of the beds. Upon being found he jumped out of the window...the same one he came in.

The window (second floor) had the glass panels removed and there was a ladder under it that he had placed there. I pulled the ladder up through the window and was shining a flashlight around all the bushes (outside of the window was basically a junkyard). I was assuming he was in the bushes so I was talking to him, pretending like I could see him.

The neighbors were all up due to girl screams and said that they found him but wanted one of the girls to identify him. I walked down with one of the girls and she confirmed it. The neighbor was holding a big stick from the junkyard and had him cornered. They called the police but for some reason (maybe because it´s Mexico) there was no answer. So the neighbor boy took off on his bike to go get the police. I sat down on the curb blocking the guy´s exit.

After a couple minutes Mr. Pervert decides he´s going to make a break for it. That´s when our hero, we´ll call him Mark (aka the World´s Most Dangerous White Belt) demonstrates his love for martial arts with a double leg take down.

From there I went into the Mount.

Realizing that he may get the beating of a lifetime, our 130 pound villian gave up.
I was giving him the option to turn over because for a long time I have been wanting to Rear Naked Choke someone out, but he had apparently had enough. At this point I felt sorry for him. Sooner than later, the police arrived (led by a boy on a bicycle), handcuffed him, and threw him in the back of their truck. The girls were still busy doing their little flightless bird dance and the guys were sleeping.

So to conclude, because this happened at 4 in the morning, he must have been sitting in there for a long time because nobody saw him enter. Thus, he must be desperate and retarded. He had a bunch of blood dripping from his face and he was too injured to outrun an old fat man with a stick. And as I mentioned earlier, he was about 130-140. But just so you know, if he hadn´t been injured while jumping out of a second story building into a junkyard, was a little bigger and sane I would have still OWNED him.

Also, girls should stop screaming at spiders, mice and little crap like that because if something screamworthy actually happens nobody will care. There were six guys in our room and only two of us even went out. While I held the guy down the other guy told him in crappy Spanish (with an Italian accent) that if he ran we were going to kill him. I was trying not to laugh. The pictures are not from last night but I do kind of look like the little kid in red. They are from internet searches so sorry if they are copywritten or something.

This morning I went cave diving.

PS. AFter I wrote this blog I had to go to the police station to testify. They told me that the guy was drunk...so probably not retarded then.

To do list

2006-07-06T19:09:00.000-05:00

I have a very big to do list. And it´s full of very big things. Some of the bigger things are this, the order is yet to be determined and it is something I change my mind about every few hours.

I have to take chemistry, physics, psychology, human anatomy and physiology. I also have to go to tech school for two years and then work for one year. I can´t decide which I want to do first. The first one would mean I have to take out a loan (maybe the second one will require that anyway). It would also mean that I could get all those out of the way. The second option would allow me some income a year earlier. I don´t know what to do and I hate that.

Some other things off the top of my head...
a cellphone
a car and insurance
a place to live
loan applications
open a bank account

It´s kind of like I´m moving to a new city, except I´ve lived there almost my whole life. Do people drive mopeds in the winter? I know they did on Dumb and Dumber and everything seemed to work out for them, and they were even dumb.

I also need to buy a blender. I want a huge one.

Travel news. I spent the day travelling to cenotes with some dude I met at the hostel. He is the first guy I´ve met in about a week that didn´t seem to annoy me. I´m pretty sure I pulled him away from a few people that were annoying him. Es la vida.

More fighting

2006-07-03T13:52:00.000-05:00

Highlight video of my Japanese BJJ instructor losing in Vegas. Rematch!

San Cristobal, Palenque, and a string of ranting traveling tangents

2006-06-28T13:07:00.000-05:00

Sumidero Canyon, hostels and hippies. Palenque, ruins and sun. Buses. That pretty much sums up my time since whenever I last blogged. Buses always make me mad. Being stuck next to 20-30 people for a few hours...there is sure to be one that gets on my nerves. So here they are...

I was sitting next to this really fat lady and her fat kid was sitting on her lap. I have nothing against fat people, but I don't feel like I should give up half of my seat just so the person next to me can be a little more comfortable. So instead of doing so, I held my ground and decided to use half of the armrest separating us. This meant that I had to sit for a few hours with this lady's rolls hanging over my arm and lap. She was making me so angry and that just made me more stubborn. I'm not sure whose sweat it was (Mex is hot), but when I got up there was a lot of it. To make matters worse, they were eating the whole time. I guess it's important to note that this wasn't an afternoon trip. The first meal came at 8am (a normal breakfast time). Doritos and Coke. I wanted to puke. The second meal came at 10am. Tortillas and chicken. Seeing this chubby little 7 year old wipe her greasy fingers all over her shirt was just repulsive. After a few hours the bus made a stop, some seats cleared and I left. On buses kids ride for free. This should be changed. Every person should have to pay for and sit in a seat. On my 2 round-trips from the States to Japan I was amazed at how many people go on vacations with their less than 5 month old babies. I guess it is possible that they are moving or something and then it would of course be necessary. But why would you want spend 20 hours on a plane, twice, with a baby who you know is going to cry the entire trip until it becomes exhausted from doing so and falls asleep - for 15 minutes. Obviously there is something about 20 hour flights and/or busrides that really irritates infants, thus irritating everyone else. There should be some kind of special tariff or something on children that are less than 1 year old. Also, feeding your kid Doritos and chicken for breakfast should violate one of the Rules of Common Sense that someone should develop (although really they shouldn't need to).

The next bus had this guy behind me who was snoring really loud. I couldn't reproduce this noise if I tried. It was awful. This was a nightbus. That trip sucked. Then it arrived at 4am and I hung out on the street for 2 hours until a hotel opened. Anyway, I would feel rude for waking someone up even though I don't think I should feel that way. Even if you can't help it, keeping everyone else awake with your sinus problems is just rude.

Hippies really disgust me (not to be confused with anger). All the hippies I have met have been nice and everything. But just talking to them I get this sort of distaste in my mouth. I don't know a better way to describe it. Around the UofM there are all sorts of hippy looking kids...but these are not hippies, they are posers. The true hippy wakes up in the afternoon everyday and then proceeds to do nothing except smoke weed, drink, play cards and listen to music until 4am. They do this everyday. To them there is no difference between Saturday and Wednesday. Just the whole idea of doing absolutely nothing with your life seems very strange to me now (even if I kind of used to be like that). Some of these guys I've met have just been on a 5 year life-vacation, doing the same nothing everyday.

The thing about really fat people and hippies (or anyone else with habits that are the opposite of the ones I want) that intrigues me is that whenever I am around them I become filled with ambition to be the opposite. While this lady is sucking the fat off of the chicken bone I just feel like exercising. When I'm sitting around the dinner table with a bunch of stoners I just want to do anything that is even a little productive. This sort of weirdo contact derived inspiration(is there a non-Mark term for this?) seems like it could be a very valuable tool for the rest of my life. So next time I start falling behind at life I just need to spend an hour or two with a person who is completely wasting his.

Rio Dulce, Utila, Mexico

2006-06-21T12:07:00.000-05:00

Rio Dulce. The highlight was seeing a Coral snake inbetween my bedroom and my bathroom. At the last hour I changed my plans from Mexico to Honduras. I went with two Israelis and Wolf from Austria. Wolf will probably be the strangest drifter I ever meet and the stories involving him are not appropriate for posting. But they were funny.

Utila. I have another 500 little bites from the stupid sandflies. I also have my PADI license which I am pleased about. I roomed there with Wolf and Cam from NZ. Cam was the first traveler I´ve met that I actually got along with really well. He was also my diving buddy.

A quick (Central American quick) trip through Belize and I´m sitting in Chetumal Mexico with nothing to do. I wanted to get a haircut but both of the shops I found were apparently closed due to Mexico playing in the World Cup. I bought a ticket to Palenque and will leave tmrw night.

In other news, this whole school orientation business really bothers me. Why do I need to register in person and have a tour of the school? I am really not concerned with making any friends or finding a nice student group to be a part of. I basically want to take classes so I can get a job. I picked the latest time to go back and register (1 month before the semester starts). I feel like the classes are all going to be full. Then I will have to go try and beg to get into classes. That´s so annoying. So I am going to have to sit around in Mpls with nothing really to do for a month. Century College and I are starting out on the wrong foot. They better have room for me...otherwise I will have ended my vacation a month early for nothing.

Adv. in Guatemala

2006-06-10T17:07:00.000-05:00

So the last two weeks have been pretty crazy. In chronological order:

Panajachel and San Pedro. Both on Lago de Atitlan "the most beautiful lake in the world," a huge collapsed volcano. Panajachel was nice but there wasn´t much to do and nowhere to go swimming. The little girls were the most persistant little vendors I´ve ever seen. Well they were exactly the same as the old ladies except not so scary.

San Pedro: I met up with a friend of the friend I went there with, played pool, ate food and swam a lot. I guess this trip was 4 days of being lazy on the lake. Everything here is really cheap...a hotel can run you 3 dollars.

Semuc Champey and the caves. They were cool. Semuc is the most beautiful place I´ve ever been and there weren´t many people there. I went there with Jasper from Germany - Sarah´s friend from San Pedro. We stayed in Coban the first night in a hotel that sucked and then we were up for the 5am bus only to find that we were locked in and couldn´t find anyone to open the door. We arrived in Semuc early and it just happened to be the one day of the week that they offer a tour to the caves and the hot spring pool things. So we went. The caves were full of water and we had to swim through parts. I of course wasn´t allowed to bring my camera so no pics. We carried candles, slipped through little crevices, slid down little slides and I jumped off about a 10 foot ledge into the pools. They were fun.

Tikal. Tikal is a big Mayan site. It was pretty nice but after completing my history major I no longer have any interest in these things. I do like climbing huge structures and contemplating what the heck they were thinking when they built this stuff in 90 degree weather...I do this while the tour guide is at the bottom explaining it to everyone. Also Howler Monkies are my new favorite animal.

El Mirador. The largest Mayan ruins in Central America. I went there with another German dude that I met a few weeks ago at school. And we were of course the only tourists there!!! The reason for this is it´s a 3 hour car ride from the nearest city with internet...followed by 2 days of hiking through the jungle, one day of sightseeing and then 2 days back. To sum it up: about 50 miles in 5 days
about 10 of those on a horse (or a mule if you want to get technical)
90+ degree weather
the rainy season
15-30 horsefly bites
25-40 ticks.
50-100 mozzy bites
walking through mud up to my knees (New Balance....your "All Terrain" shoes need a new name).
Taking only DEET showers.
And I still love howler monkies.

And just wait until you see how studly I look riding around a mule. I felt kind of like those crazy death guys in the Lord of the Rings....only more badass. And I now know where the term dumbass comes from. Badass....I have no idea.

I had another fun day today but I´m too lazy to blog about it now...and I decided I´m going to Honduras in 2 days.

druk druk druk. That means busy busy busy in Danish for all you non-worldly people.

dag dag dag. That means bye bye bye in danish....but only weird people say it.

marcos

Guilty

2006-05-27T20:48:00.000-05:00

Normally I never feel guilty about anything. The reason for this is that I usually don't do anything to feel too guilty about...and when I do it's an honest mistake or misunderstanding and I apologize. But yesterday was different...3x.

1. I bought some ice cream for about $1. I paid with what I am pretty sure was about $2. The girl gave me change for $13 (the largest bill here). Now the reason I didn't correct this mistake was because I gave her the benefit of the doubt and just assumed that I was mistaken. The bills here kind of look the same and they are old and crappy due to a lack of wallets (I shove my money in my pocket). And what was I supposed to do? Ask her if she made a mistake? I tell myself that even if she was correct she would have said she wasn't just to get my money. I also tell myself that my Spanish isn't good enough to communicate this to her. And lastly, if she figures out her mistake later she will without a doubt be more careful in the future and thus I was preventing her from further more important loses. Either way, I still feel kind of bad.

2. I had a library book. I am in a different city now...but I still have it. After school I walked by the place to give it back but they were closed. They didn't have those handy drop-off boxes and I coulnd't just set it on the sidewalk. To check out the book all I had to do was write down my name on a list.

3. The dog always jumped on me and barked at me. I would always kick it. Last night it was doing the same thing. It was late at night so all the lights were off and I could only see from the street lights. I grabbed the broom and I took a big swing at what I thought was it´s butt...only it was it's head. She started whimpering and running in circles. She was crying so much that my host mom came all the way from downstairs to ask what happened. This morning I looked at it and one eye was half closed. I'm glad it was my last day there because I really wouldn't want to explain to a 6 and a 12 year old what happened to their dog. It really is hard to teach and old dog new tricks. I don't feel bad for hitting it. I just feel bad that the family is going to have to just guess as to what their foreign exchange student did to their dog. But in all honesty I think the adults will get a good laugh out of it.

In Mark news...I'm still in Guatemala. At Panejachel on Lago de Atitlan. I leave tomorrow.

Monterrico

2006-05-22T14:54:00.000-05:00

I went to Monterrico this weekend with a bunch of other drifters. Highlights include..

sitting on the beach in a hammock drinking smoothies
jumping around in waves
eating food that didn't contain any beans

mentionable things...

minor sunburn
taking a big whipe out while walking
buying sandals that say Italy all over them
not getting as many mozzy bites as Rob
seeing more wildlife in our hotel rooms and restaurants than on our wildlife boat tour

strange/scary things...
Sara fainting in the restaurant.
Me trying to dig sand out of Diego's eye with a toothpick (I got it).

And finally one story. I was sitting on a hammock next to Myrna. She was writing, I asked her if she had a diary (en espanol). She thought I said diarrhea. We then had what we each thought was a normal conversation (well except for the part where I would have been asking her all these personal questions about her digestive system). The whole time I just thought she was talking about her diary and she thought I was talking about diarrhea. I was laughing so hard. It's kind of one of those you had to be there moments that I will think of everytime I hear the word diary. The toothpick story is for another day.

Antigua

2006-05-17T14:09:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been in Guatemala for just over two weeks. So far I've come to a few conclusions...well I'm kind of thinking of them as I type but oh well.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to learn Spanish. I fall back on the "I'm too old to learn a language excuse."

No matter how hard I try I will never be able to spend all my money in 3 months.

And, ice cream here is like ice cream back home.

Really, not much has been going on here. I have a cool family that likes to cook beans and onions and watch soap operas...but for kids. I am not sure if we have that equivalent in the US. I sit on a hammock all afternoon and nap, read or stare at the huge volcano that is visible from my roof. I live with a dog and it hasn't been trained very well. Over the next two weeks it's training should be complete. I prefer the shoe or broom to the face method...for the dog, not me. Other than that, there isn't really much to say. I've been taking pics but forgot my cord to upload them. I'll put them on a CD eventually and upload that way.

This weekend I'm going to the ocean for some relaxing. Basically I'll be comparing the hammock and volcano view with the hammock and ocean view...I hope. Two weeks from now I will hopefully be getting my PADI cert. and then cruising around in Lake Atitlan - a collapsed volcano.

I will not be learning to salsa and I have a farmers tan that any farmer would envy. Today I walked around looking for a tailor to sew up the hole in my pocket but I couldn't find one (I had a map with the X). I also withdrew money from the bank with out any problms. I can't think of anything else now. I tried to ask my teacher if he'd ever been robbed but I asked him if he'd ever robbed anyone. I didn't know what I'd said until he started explaining to me how he has morals etc. So that, more or less, is what i've been up to.

hasta luego, marcos

Not comment worthy

2006-04-25T13:48:00.000-05:00

Jordan, this is for you in case you ever feel like having a video to help prove your points. Well, it may not help but it's funny and when I saw it I thought of you. Then right after it I found this one. I was hoping to find a video to help Nicole prove a point but instead I think it just shows a man knowing when to wear a helmet. Oh well, I don't think she reads this blog anyway.

Chris, I miss you.

Edit: Here is one for Nicole even though I don't think she comes here and I don't think I know who she is. Warning: the title says it all.

Back to semi-blog retirement
Mark

Huge increase.

2006-03-28T23:44:00.000-06:00

So I have this weird student. He never seems like he wants to be there. He dozes off, text messages and spends the rest of the time looking out the window. So I was kind of messing with him one day, I can't remember all the details, but we ended up talking about girl problems. I guess when he was 14 he was talking to a girl he liked and one of his friends came by and said "ohhh, is that the girl you like?" Since then he hasn't been able to talk to a girl (he's in uni now).

So being the creative and caring teacher I am, I played the part of the girl. His job was to try and talk to me. Since he is afraid to talk, I told him to just end everything with a question. He kept forgetting so I had this big question mark on a piece of paper that I would hold up. And before you even start, yes, I know I am the last guy on Earth to be giving advice on how to speak with girls. But teaching someone how to order Hawaiian pizza gets old after about...1 time. Our conversation went something like this:

Him: Hi.
Me: Hello.
H. Do you like math?
Me. No, I like art.
H. I don't.
Me. (holding the ? sign)

Me. (as the teacher again, telling him he just messed up.)

Take 2

H. Hi.
Me. Hello.
H. Do you like (some J TV show).
Me. What's that?
H. A tv show.
Me. I've never seen it. What's it about?
H. It's about robots.
Me. (reminding him about the ?'s and telling him to never talk about robots with a girl)

Our staff is made up of a bunch of young J girls so I gave him some lines on a piece of paper to say as he left. "Hello, how's it going?" and "I like your haircut." I was standing behind the staff as he checked out frantically jumping up and down and waving my hands in that sort of encouraging type of way. He didn't even make eye contact with her. I failed.

And from a different lesson:

So let's say we are telling stories. I give my students a couple seconds to brainstorm and think up a true story. Of course they never have any. I always do the story lessons because then I don't have to talk. When they can't think of a story I have to assign them one. Then I get to hear funny quotes like:

-you have to train your bunny.
-maybe she just touched the bunny somewhere the bunny didn't want her to.

And from yesterday, a guy was reading to me from his book.

Him. ....this will result in a hug increase.
Me. What?
Him. I don't get it.
Me. What? A hug increase. Read it again.
Him. (reading it again, the same.
Me (laughing at him)

No hablo espanol

2006-03-20T10:58:00.000-06:00

I just bought a ticket - Mpls to Guatemala. $287. May 2nd. The only problem will be leaving at 6am. I of course will have to arrive early. Which means I might be asking someone with nothing to do for a ride at a very odd hour. It's at moments like this that I am glad I have such loving and caring friends back in MN!

hahaha

What's that fuss?

2006-03-17T04:37:00.000-06:00

This one just amazed me.

Dude: People in America all ride the train.
15ish yr old girl: No they don't, some ride buses. Don't you know Rosa Parks?

I wonder where he got the train idea from. I would have thought SUVs or something. Funny.

Mountains

2006-03-09T09:10:00.000-06:00

So this is what it is and what I will have to do. There are 3 parts of this I will have to go through. But first, the vocab.

Prosthetic technician. They make limbs. Thats all (I think). No patients, white coats or liability. For this I will need a two year tech degree. I am counting on this being fun, interesting and not too hard.

Prosthetist. These are the guys that boss around the technicians. They also deal with the patients (sizing, fitting, adjusting etc.). And they can also make limbs too (no surgery). Getting this position will take a little more work.

There are a couple other positions but all the language and education paths just confused me, but those seem to be the main two.

To be a prosthetist I will first have to do the 2 yr tech degree followed by a 1 year residency. Then I will have to do another 2 yr program for the prosthetist part with a 1 yr residency again. So one could start and finish their residency in six years (well add a few more because a 4yr deg is req). The part that will complicate everything is that to get accepted into the second program I will have to first complete the following

Biology Minimum 3 semester hours
Chemistry Minimum 3 semester hours
Physics Minimum 3 semester hours
Psychology Minimum 3 semester hours
Algebra or higher Math Minimum 3 semester hours
Human Anatomy and Physiology (with Lab) Minimum 6 semester hours

So far I have 1 semester of bio and a 4 yr degree...and the math I guess. I think a very motivated person could mix a lot science classes into the first 3 yrs. I think if I do choose this path I will end up taking 20 credits for the first 2 years - the reg 15 for the tech plus 1 science class each sem - then a load of science in the summer. This decision would of course depend on the difficulty of the tech degree but for some reason I'm not too worried about it. I am not even sure what 3 semester hours means. Someone told me it equals 2 semesters. The other thing I will have to find out, prolly by talking to someone in person, is what admissions is like into the last part. It says a "C" or better is required in all of the classes. Does that mean you get in then? Geez, I could take 25 credits a semester then! haha

Well I am getting way ahead of myself. Well, now you all know the strange things that have been running through my head for the last two weeks. Also I am trying to find the cheapest ticket home, a ticket to Cent Am., figure out when to leave and what to do when my fam is here for 2 weeks.

Also, Jordan, I had this really witty comment typed up about the STD song and then I hit enter and my internet disconnected!!!!!!!!!!

And FYI I live on the side of a mountain. Tonight I ran up to this temple. 480 steps. Started off with street lights and then turned into lanterns! The last couple of times I tried and failed - these pics are from a few months ago. It's a nice night trip. I counted the steps on the way down cause I'm a nerd.

phase 1

2006-03-02T07:23:00.000-06:00

I want to be a prosthetist. I think it is feasible...except I will finish up with it when I am in my early 30's. As sad as it may seem, it is the first time I've wanted to be something since I was like 6. Well, I've always wanted to be "something," I just never knew what that was. It's annoying because anytime I make some important life decision it's always one that I could just have easily made five years earlier had my head been screwed on a little tighter (or is it straighter?).

Anyway, I am really anxious to do some job shadowing. Hopefully this isn't just a phase if it is my life will be back to directionless.

My plans to live in Central America have not changed...well except for the part where I job shadow down there. yeah, that will be cool. I'm excited.

Classifieds

2006-02-27T10:35:00.000-06:00

If you or anyone you know needs/wants to borrow a laptop for the 06/07 school year let me know. It has a wireless card and everything else you could ever want....except for a huge harddrive, dvd burner or expensive graphics card. Also the battery is shot...I think they are around 50 bucks.

Shirts etc.

2006-02-26T10:53:00.000-06:00

The Policeman Style
The importance of the life the very light
children think. It is sometimes learned
By bringing up a creature not only oppose
But also think once when children say it
"I want to keep a creature."

The thing that sucks about these shirts (besides the obvious) is that when they cram in so much writing it makes it hard to read. It's hard to look attentive and try and figure out these proverbs at the same time. Here is a better one:

Big Baby on the me.
The baby is riding on my back now.

Me: What does your shirt mean?
Seiji: The baby is a symbol of my pressure.

OH Canada!

2006-02-16T05:34:00.000-06:00

This isn't even Mark blogworthy. The fact that it's on CNN International is just as ridiculous.

"Of more than 2,500 university and college students polled across Canada, 87 percent of them are having sex over instant messenger, Webcams or the telephone, according to results of a national survey released on Monday." And "eighty-seven percent of those polled claimed to be sober at the time."

Now something confuses me about this report. I am sure there is a perfectly logical explanation. But why is "Webcams" capitalized? Is it a proper noun? That is what I would assume but to me it has always been the generic term for any camera you plug into your comp with the purpose of recording/sending some type of video. And if so, why isn't "instant messenger" also capitalized. To me, "instant messanger" is AOL Instant Messenger. It is not a general term for all online chat programs. The popular ones all have their own respective names such as MSN/Windows Messenger or Yahoo! Messenger.

Well, the other problem I have is that CNN makes it sound like this is a kind of ultra safe sex. But still, if you get virtually engaged, how are you going to tell your virtual wife that you've had virtual sex with all sorts of virtual girls (aka dudes)? And what about all those computer viruses? Oh no!

Cameras, futures and guns.

2006-02-15T22:59:00.000-06:00

Mark! Thank you so much!!!! I love it! I was totally expecting like um... a tshirt or something... I'm super excited! And it fits in my pocket for this summer!!

Thank you!!!

Karen

That was an email from my sister. I bought her a digital camera off of ebay. Every year for Christmas she gets me something. Probably for many of my birthdays too. I've never really kept track of the plus/minus ratio but I am pretty sure this is the first time I've bought my sister anything for Christmas or her Bday...EVER! It has always been a combination of being broke and selfish I guess. And it's easy for me to fall back on the old "Christmas isn't about presents" thing (which is still true - I think). Anyway, it feels good to do something nice for someone once every 25 years, at least now she will know not to expect anything for the next 5-10.

In more important news, last night/early this morning I decided what I want to do for the rest of my life. After 25 years of being clueless, it feels nice just to feel like I have some kind of direction or goal. And of course it coincides nicely with the giving of my first ever Christmas gift (well one worth more than a couple $'s). I should have given her a present when I was 18.

The good thing is that I'm very optimistic as far as my chances of going through with everything. The bad news is I will have to take another 100 credits AND the wonderful Chem/Phyisics combo. Oh, and psych, but that shouldn't be a big deal. So, 115 credits plus after the first 60 I have to work for a year before I can get accepted into the second 40 credits. I think I can fit the first 60 credits into one year if they'll let me...cause I am so darn ambitious. I'll let y'all know what it is in a week if I still want to do it.

two birds

2006-02-08T07:20:00.000-06:00

Long after I'd arrived home from Ghana I began to regret not sending my bulk emails to myself. I updated everyone on what was going on but never kept a copy. I plan on doing this in Guatemala. I think I will just be adding them to my blog. Two birds with one stone you know. Or something like that. Here is an email I just sent to my aunt's. It basically sums up my entire 10 months here. Note to self: you were in a bad mood when you wrote it...and you still are. I had a long NOTE TO FUTURE SELF blog planned. That will be later............

How come I never hear from any of you? Where are the "aunt updates?" I get the Nate email updates like once every six months...and when I graduated Nate didn't even know how to work a computer. I think he wrote all his papers with a pencil he whittled. Anyway, you have probably been wondering where all the "mark updates" have been over the last year (ok maybe not). Well, there has been nothing to update on. But I am sending one along anyway.

I teach English to Japanese people, since I have a very small frame of reference I can't be sure if it's this job or work in general....but I am currently wondering how people work for their entire lives, work sucks. As I sit in the staff room cutting and pasting "resources" that will hit the trash before they ever get used for anything - I stare at the folder containing the "resignation slips" and ignore its taunts and insults. But lately it has been teasing me a lot. The only reason I haven't quit is because I have loads of cash in the bank and nothing to spend it on.... no wait, it's because my parents want to come visit at the end of my contract...in about 2 months.

I just emailed my dad and asked him if he would prefer to backpack around India for a month as opposed to two weeks in J land. We'll see what he says. I am anticipating either my mom deletes it or he replies with "I would love to but...I must work for 4 hours a week." I also invited my mom...I know she could only come for 2 weeks though. Oh well. Next time you hear grandma talking about how adventurous her son is, just remind her that he shot down a month long chance to bond with his eldest. Wanna come? we never hang out anymore

Well, outside of teaching for 35 or so hours a week, commuting for the 50 min each way and trying to meet girls on the internet I spend most of my free time at martial arts. Four days a week. It is my only real hobby here...maybe ever.

Well, a few weeks ago Nate emailed me one of those "so mark, I heard you.." emails. It was a little off, so... I plan on heading back to MN around mid april to visit MPLS, Duluth and (drumroll) LP. I have to renew my drivers license. And then I will be boarding a plane to Guatemala. I plan on staying there (or in that region) until I speak spanish. And that's about all.

Hope all is well. In case you ever have those childish "I'm his favorite aunt" competitions...well I can't confirm anything...except that my address book only has 3 aunts in it from the Terwey side. hahaha. Tell Ann I say hello. I hope everything is going ok in the West. I'll see you around someday.
your fav nephew
Mark

Bored?

2006-02-02T10:01:00.000-06:00

Jordan, you might find this site interesting, you just strike me as the type...I don't know why. You other bored folk might also. It's some dude's list of common English mistakes. I only clicked on a few. I guess I am alright...or all right. Most of the words/phrases he lists are not ones that I use but I guess it's interesting to read them anyway. Well for about five min, depending on your boredom level.

The Twister

2006-01-26T11:04:00.000-06:00

None of you will enjoy this. But I do. It's what I spend all my time trying to do. When I get it, it makes me happy. I'm a looser. Jiu Jitsu - The Twister. All except the last move.

Japanese values

2006-01-26T08:43:00.000-06:00

My 5th post in 4 days. That has to be a record. I just found this funny. The thing about shirts here is they all say something in English, and as I've talked about before...they rarely make sense. I believe most people can read them, they just don't understand what they say. I've had students wearing weird stuff and I ask them about it and sometimes they say they know it doesn't make sense but they just don't care. Well my phone camera makes it a little blurry but if you can read the sign on the left side you might find it funny. Or I am lame.

Greenpeace

2006-01-26T01:00:00.000-06:00

I like the environment. I like being outside. Trees, wild animals, some bugs, the sun, clouds and moutains. All that stuff is great.

People in Japan like whales. I haven't tried them but I guess they're quite tasty. The problem is, lots of other people like whales better in the ocean. I am not sure if this is news anywhere else in the world...it's not even really news here. But somewhere out at sea there is a Japanese whaling boat cruising around with Greenpeace boats following it, trying to disrupt its whale killing mission. I have no problems with whales, whalers or people who want to protect them. The thing is, when you combine all three, you just get a big mess. A big mess of conflicting ideals usually results in one of two things, a lot of dead people or a funny story. In this case it's the latter...with a bunch of dead whales.

Well I don't really know that much about the whole thing. I read the pro and con articles for both sides and they were as expected:

Whales are special, they have feelings, they're smart. There aren't many left so we should save them so they can reproduce and be plentifull.

Whales taste good and we are hungry. Too bad your western parents and grandparents killed off all the whales in the first place...along with all the wolves, sharks, bison etc etc etc. Please pass the salt.

Well, I have no problem with the anti-whaling ideology, but I have to say the way they are going about it is ridiculous. They are following the ship, trying to scare away the whales and then positioning their rafts inbetween the whales and the harpoons. Well, the whole point of this blog is that the pictures are funny...in a strange sort of way. Both are from the GP website, official I think. One is the sign on the J boat which hilarious. The other is the J boat spraying the GP rafts as they follow it, also hilarious.

Beginning of Mark's 2 month weight loss program

2006-01-25T08:55:00.000-06:00

I planned on going on a diet starting in Dec. It lasted one day...just enough time to blog about it. Then I got sick and went to Hawaii where I ate all the free food I could. So I'm starting over. 81.8kgs. I have just over two months left here, we'll see how it goes.

I can't believe I just typed up this blog about nothing

2006-01-24T07:10:00.000-06:00

I used to have these sweatpants that I got my freshman year. I had them for about 5 years and I wore them all the time. The other day I was like "where are my sweatpants?" I somehow managed to not bring them to Japan. Not only that but I don't remember putting them in a safe place. I only left one little tupperware box thingy back at home...full of photos and crap like that that I don't need to carry with me. Did I put them in there? How odd. I think I started wearing sweatpants all the time around 6th grade. That's about when I got rid of my blankie. In my 6th grade class pictures I am wearing sweatpants...I look ridiculous, everyone else is all dressed up. Well, the point of this story is just to let everyone know that I miss my sweatpants. It's cold here (well like 30F) and my heat doesn't really do much other than ring up a big bill. The other night I was freezing and as I left for work in the morning I realized that my door was an inch open. Good one Mark.

Mark news: I am not renewing my contract. So I will finish at the end of March. My parents are coming to see Japan and I will get back to MN mid-April sometime. From there the plan is to visit peeps for a couple weeks then I am off (hopefully) to the wonderful land of Guatemala. Since I have been trying really hard to save money I will basically be the richest unemployed person there...which probably means I will just get robbed.

Back to my original pointless post: does anyone else think girls are more attractive when they are wearing sweatpants? It seems so superficial to judge one on their clothes, but all the expensive jeans in the world will never equal cheap sweatpants. But if they're pink, say anything on the butt or they are too tight, well that is just stupid. Return those. Oh yeah, and another thing I mentioned in my fashion blog...no tucking in your shirt, unless you want to be shunned by all the cool kids.

Also I schooled that little 14 year old again tonight. I can rest easy, there is no way that he will get good enough to beat me in the next two months.

Top 25 MMA comebacks

2006-01-23T09:00:00.000-06:00

This might sound strange to most people, but I really like watching people fight. Not drunken street brawls or any other chemical induced rage type of fighting, but 2 people who know what they are doing going at it is just fun for me to watch. I don't know why. I say it's because I'm a guy but I realize most guys don't share this strange fascination. So here is my favorite highlight video.

Some of them are kind of boring and a little brutal. But starting at about the 20:20 mark it gets good. I watch it in the morning and it gets me ready for a long day of teaching. The top three spots are of course reserved for Jiu Jitsu guys...of course since it's a comeback vid it means they were getting the crap kicked out of them for the most part. JJ is keeping me sane in Japan. It's hard to explain but it's true.

I long to wait in line at the DMV

2006-01-22T07:59:00.000-06:00

So I got my driver's license renewal app in the mail today. Let's just say it's not as simple as it should be. This is how it should be. You should address the envelope to the DMV, put in your picture, address, a crispy $20 and you're good to go

They've actually seemed to make me just want to either fly back to MN and renew the stupid thing in person, or just not renew it at all. Last time I renewed it I swear all I had to do was stand in line for an hour so they could take my picture, have me fill out some form and give them 20 bucks. The address on my license doesn't even exist and it has never been an issue at all.

So maybe the rules have changed, but if they haven't, then this is just one nasty way of trying to inconvenience people who live out of state. I have to go to a "Licensed Vision Examiner" and have him fill out this form. I went to the optometist about one week ago...great. Then I have to sign the form in front of a "notary public." But, if I'm out of the country, I just need to find a "judge, clerk or deputy clerk of court, U.S. foreign service or consular officer." That sounds convenient, I can't even find toilet paper how am I going to find a deputy clerk of court. And finally, a step that should be easy but it's just not...I have to send a check or money order. I don't have any checks and as easy as a money order sounds, it just sucks having to do stuff like that using hand motions and strange grunts

And to just complain a little more, what makes all this even worse is I have convinced myself that ND, SD, IA and WI all have online systems where you enter your license #, upload a face pic, enter your address, credit card info and hit enter. Then 4 days later you get a nice package containing your new ID and a written thank you note from a pretty girl.

Tired of getting sick? Sick of getting tired?

2006-01-19T05:37:00.000-06:00

Well scientists can now help you with the first problem. According to scientists, getting really cold can result in a (drumroll) cold!!!!

I guess this is one of those things I've always assumed. Probably because my parents told me so...and their parents told them the same thing. I am glad that the high cost of healthcare is going to fund studies such as this. Although it's England so who knows. At least it didn't come from the UofMN. This story seems so odd to me that I am at a loss of words to mock it. I am curious as to what other theories they had as to why people are always sick in the winter. The fewer hours of daylight? Basketball season? Christmas shopping anxiety? Wool allergies?

I guess I always thought that being really cold kind of weakened the immune system. But what the heck do I know. When people are frozen in ice for thousands of years and then thawed out they never seem sick, just confused by our non-solar thawing methods and our strange clothes.

In Mark news, I have two days left of vacation and then two months left of work. Also in Japan it's cold and EVERYONE seems to be sick. In Hawaii it's 80 and no one seems to be sick. Of course the reasons for this are most likely poison gas residue in the trains as well as poor immune systems due to strange fashion and driving on the left side of the road. Hawaiians are of course very healthy due to their salt water humidifiers and big mac IV's.

Back to Mark news. I have determined that I have an attention span of 22 minutes and 30 seconds....give or take about 30 seconds depending on if I'm sitting in a chair or on the floor. The study was also performed at room temp while I was sick but I'm not sure if that affects anything.

The North Shore

2006-01-17T03:19:00.000-06:00

I'll admit it, I've seen Baywatch a few times. Thankfully as a kid I didn't have whatever channel it was on. But I managed to watch it a few times at a friend's house. I can't say I enjoyed it, but seeing the typical day of a lifeguard gave me a much deserved sense of security everytime I went to the beach. In my little town there didn't seem to be as much drama on the beach, probably because on a hot day there were 20 people there. Some of the lifeguards were my friends and I wouldn't trust them with preparing me a sandwich...let alone my life.

On the local Oahu news tonight they were talking about the surf and it actually reminded me of Baywatch. They said the waves were 6-10 feet and the lifeguards on the North Shore pulled out 18 different people. Crazy!! Tomorrow there will be a "high surf advisory" with 15-20 foot waves!! In two days my pops and I will head up there and watch.

Today we went for a hike on the east side, I'm not sure of the name, I'll post pics later. We saw a few whales. I'll be honest, I was thinking about harpooning.

Integrity

2006-01-13T22:49:00.000-06:00

Today I had this kind of funny memory from my flight over here. My story telling abilities are pretty poor and my sense of humor is strange, so maybe I'll bore you all.

Well it starts in KIX airport. I decided to do something I'd never done before - buy some food and water from the airport. Well, on the plane the air-flight-people (I have no idea what's PC anymore) passed out the customs things and they said something similar to:

1. Will you bring any goods through customs that you purchased in the country of departure?
Me: Yes
2. What was the cost of these goods?
Me: $1

Then going through customs the guy asks me about my $1 purchase. So I tell him that I had a candy bar at the time, but I ate it a few hours after I filled out the survey. Very sincerely he says "wow, you're really honest." And that was it, I just thought it was funny. I should have said something like "yes, you're right, I am a real honest guy..smart and good looking too."

The End

Today I went surfing, read about 4 pages of Harry Potter en espanol and cleaned. It's about 80 here everyday so I went jogging yesterday. First time in like 3 months and I can feel it. till next time my dedicated readers...aka future me.

mark

Reverse pop culture shock

2006-01-12T04:11:00.000-06:00

When I went to Japan my mother gave me a book on culture shock. I skimmed through about the first half of it. I thought it was kind of funny. It wasn't really relevant to me as I didn't have culture shock. My previous travels brought me to Germany for a month, West Africa for 2 months and Mexico for 3 months. So Japan's nothing. In fact, throughout all of my travels I have only had culture shock twice. Minor CS when I was in Africa, and significant CS upon returning to the US. Currently in Hawaii after 10 months of Japan I wouldn't say I have reverse culture shock, but rather a different form of culture shock. Returning just after the New Year, I am unfortunate enough to catch all of VH1's Best of Worst of 2005 shows. What I have realized is that I am completely out of touch with US pop culture. Not only do I not know what these featured "stars" did that was so horrible or amazing, but I don't know who they are OR the movies, TV shows or bands that they are in. I'm not sure how I feel about my pop culture knowledge. I find it kind of satisfying that I can say I have no clue what these celebrities are up to. On the otherhand, I feel kind of left out. I think I prefer how it is now. Since I don' t care about their movies or what they're up to.

my dad

2006-01-09T15:16:00.000-06:00

Everyone says "you're just like your father." Well...people that know both of us. In some ways I am, but in some ways I am not. My dad is an engineer. I don't know anything about that stuff. I'm not even sure if I spelled it right. And he really likes all things that 50 something year old engineer farm kids would like. I don't really like anything to do with engineering - at least as far as the thought that goes into it. Same for farming, I grew up working summer jobs at farms and I dislike pretty much everything to do with farming except for the end result - food. He also remains constantly busy - something I envy. My dad, along with my mom, moved to Hawaii a few years ago, thus he gave up his business of welding, repairing, drilling and all the other ings that go into working at your own machine shop. His constant desire to be doing things, along with his interests and the options in Hawaii have made for some interesting time killing activities.

Leaving his children on the mainland, he would of course have to find something to replace this void. That was the easy part - biking, hiking and surfing. But how would he fill the farmboy engineer void? Well, first he got a volunteer position as a welder on the USS Missouri. Perfect for a guy like my dad. What would seem like a difficult and dirty job for some is of course perfect for my dad. He gets to weld AND be on a huge battleship with big guns - a historic one at that. In my last trip to Hawaii I got the tour. The free and unlimited tour that battleship enthusiasts would only dream about. I, of course, had no appreciation really at all for it, but it was kinda fun to see my dad so excited about the different welds that kept this thing from falling apart as it's huge something something diameter guns blasted away during WWII. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate big guns just as any Midwestern country boy does, but the thickness of the hull is something I will never really get too excited about. I can only imagine that half the time he is working he is actually day dreaming about taking the ship out to sea and blowing some stuff up...that's what I would be thinking - and that is exactly what I was thinking during the tour.

There are also pictures on the computer of people laying railroad tracks. This is another thing he volunteered for. I am not sure how many people volunteered, but I can't imagine the "come volunteer with us, we'll be laying railroad tracks" flyer got too many volunteers. But this is the kind of thing my dad probably really enjoyed - at least enough to take pictures of. As a kid, I remember him taking our family on a tour of a railroad car. While I am sure he thought it was really cool, I don't remember it being anything special and I doubt my mom or sis did either. There are also pictures of my dad at his Christmas time volunteer job. A mall train driver. While most people would probably assume he did it to help entertain kids, I can only assume that my dad had more fun cruising around on a train than the kids did. If he had the chance to drive a real train on the tracks that he spent so much time putting down, I doubt he would have been shuttling brats around the mall while their parents went Christmas shopping.

Well, as far as I know, no one that actually knows my father reads this blog and my family is unaware that I even have one. But if someday they stumble upon it, I just want my dad to know that I admire his ambition and his ability to put in so many hours into the things he is passionate about, even if I think they are strange things. I say this in hopes that in the future I will also be able to take part in the things that I enjoy...I don't do that now.

And on a different note, after doing spell check (no mispellings - at least according to Mr. Spell Check), I think it's about time that they incorporate the word "blog" into their dictionary. How ironic!!!!!

"tp for my bunghole" is a famous quote by.....

2006-01-03T00:51:00.000-06:00

Well I still have a cold. I went through 2 rolls of TP in the last two days. I use three squares each time I blow my nose. If I knew how many squares were in each roll I would do the math and come up with a really cool statistic. Oh well. Anyway, I ran out of tp this morning so I had to go buy some. I ended up getting the scented kind and regret it very much. Unfortunately I didn't have much of a choice due to my communication ability. I can't even read. Anyway, why you would ever want the scented kind is beyond me. It smells worse than crap. Of course I had to find out the hard way...by blowing my nose with it (the tp, not crap). I now have this apparently permanent artificial flowery aroma glued to the most inconvenient of spots - my nose area. Lame. Anyway...let's imagine you are in this scenario:

You have a bad cold and need toilet paper to prevent snot from getting all over your face. You don't have any at home. You are in the store. It closes in 3 minutes. You can't find any and you don't speak the local language. What do you do?

Although finding a different store is not the most creative option, it's what I did. I guess when it all comes down to it, I have too much pride to convey my tp need via theatre. Lame.

In Mark news, I've been going to a lot of temples the last few days. Apparently it's the temple season or something. I find them kind of boring but it's fun to see other people having fun. That's how my sad self finds enjoyment I guess. Lame

it's ofishial

2005-12-29T06:30:00.000-06:00

i'm allergic to tuna. why did it take me 24 years to figure this out? well, according to the internet, the stuff in tuna that everyone's allergic to is removed in the canning process. mark and tuna will never co-exist peacefully...unless of course it's canned first. my huge outbreak that i blogged about a few months back lasted about 3 weeks, so last night i was kinda worried. either my body developed a little resistance to tuna's effects or all the chocolate and water i drank in my despair last night killed it. i'm fine now. i was anticipating another 3 weeks of unsexiness. and yes...when i am depressed i drink water. i also drink water when i'm happy, just not as much.

I bought chicken nuggets from the store.

2005-12-27T04:43:00.000-06:00

I just re-read my last few blogs, and there are some changes I would like to make. Not grammatical through. OK, the two PB jars were half empty a few days ago. Today they are half full. That is because I have 3 weeks of vacation starting about 1 hour ago. I will do fun things. I am not sure what, but I hope they are fuh fuh fuh funner than being an English teacher. Also, not only did the Thai noodles ruin my sweatshirt, but they also ruined my stomach resulting in my first sick day ever. I could have actually gone to work and been fine, but I was up until about 5am being sick so I just couldn't be bothered with anything. It was Christmas too, and what better way to celebrate Christmas than by not going to work! Yah for Mark's first ever sick day! I felt kinda bad when I called in, like I was cheating the system or something. Of course I lose money and I will probably regret it the next time I'm broke, or when my wife wants a diamond ring instead of a key ring...or the kids want health insurance...ahhhh. Well too bad for them, because I stayed home on Christmas.

My life's metaphor

2005-12-26T09:52:00.000-06:00

Last night I spilled ramen juice on my sweatshirt. I thought maybe it would just dry up and be gone...but no. It appears that it is going to be a permanent oil stain. This new stain, along with a huge one that makes me look like I fell asleep in a puddle, have made me do some serious thinking about my sweatshirt's life. It's old, tattered, stained and frayed. We have been through a lot together. Two different universities, my drivers license and student ID, countless cold days....the list could go on and on. It's kinda like an adult blankie, except it has more uses. If you ever remember seeing me during any non-summer months, I was probably wearing it. When I began writing this blog about two minutes ago I was sad, but as I think back on the past 6 1/2 years of my life, I can't think of anything it's done for me. In fact, I feel kind of cold towards it (haha). I brought it around the world, I washed it like once a year, and I fed it ramen juice. What did it ever do for me? Did it make me popular, help me meet girls, or even keep me warm on the coldest of nights? NO! I think the reason I am sick right now is because my sweatshirt failed me. I am buying a new one someday. I want an Abercrombie one.

2005-12-24T09:20:00.000-06:00

Also today I pulled down a kid's pants. It wasn't in a violent child molester way - but more of a sit down kinda way. That probably doesn't make any sense. The rest of the class was sitting in a circle and he was prancing around me trying to entertain the rest of the class with his childish antics. In my subtle attempt to get him to sit down I gave his shorts a little tug and.....well, he didn't think he was "Mr. Cool" after the rest of the class saw him in his undies. The class was just cracking up. I guess it's a good thing that he didn't cry.

Also, I am going to stop ignoring the voices in my head...if you know what I mean.